A little world of my own

"...I have enough of you"

2009-10-24T13:07:00.003+08:00

Those were the last words I saw before she disappear from the screen. "What have I done?" After reading a barrage of messages flashing almost non-stop, I came to realise how I awful I was in the eyes of her. I can't explain myself, I have no reason or right to explain at all. She was right with the facts, and I stared with disbelief at myself.

Since the first time it happened late last year, I told myself that I will not make the same mistake. I was given the opportunity this time round to redeem myself but somehow, yet I failed again. I couldn't visit her as I was really tired from working late the night before, and since I had work again the following night, the only time available was the weekend... but to her, it was way to late.

To be honest, I get jealous whenever she mentions about that UK guy, especially when he is actually flying over here just to see her. It was purely unintentional of me to say "do you care?", as I had misinterpreted her response when he was already in Malaysia. I didn't know that I was being utterly rude to say that until she responded to what I had said... but again, it was a case of me not thinking before saying. I really regretted saying that and tried to apologize, but the damage was done.

Call me silly, but I've always been afraid of losing her. I don't think I mentioned this to her but, to me she is my closest friend I've got at this point of life. I see her as someone who I can be comfortable at being myself and be open to anything.... something I don't share that with anyone else. I was attracted to her in the beginning and... I still do even now. But now it seems that, it's me being myself that is causing all the trouble between us. I never really had anything against her, partly because I always mainly focus of the plus sides of friends around me, and she scored the highest in my book. I had always thought that I've been trying my best to be a buddy to her, making time, helping out with little things here and there....

...apparently it's not enough to outshine the flaws in me.

I can only ask for forgiveness and be given another chance, for I am determined to get it right. I promise not talk bad about any of your friends and respect and value the friends that you choose. I realise my mistake, it's not only about what I did, it is also what I didn't do.
I am so truly sorry.

When thoughts alone no longer counts...

2008-11-23T11:50:00.002+08:00

The time has come again to really re-think who I am. I may have told many that I'm still pretty much the same for the past few months, but in reality I had gone through ups and downs silently. Came to know a few new people as well and... it's always the case of they capture your attention first and it looked interesting, but as time goes by and we came to know more about each other, the more we reveal who we really are. Some would say that this is the period of test, to see that person is truly worthy of being a good friend, or vice versa. Most of them are just worthy of just keeping in touch and no more than that.....

I thought that all the while I've been good to others, or maybe too good to my close ones... until recently I was made, on my own, to question myself, on how I treat them. At this point of life I'm still very much at a disadvantage compare to other guys who are earning... well better salary and well... to put it loosely, own "better things", and also because of the group of people that I just somehow prefer to hang out with, doesn't really help. Seriously, if I had my own car, it's not that it'll make me more popular... but to me, nothing makes me feel better than being able to be there for someone. Just only a couple days ago, I was at work and she just came out of op. I called to see how it went and how's she doing. After hearing I really wanted to just fly over there and pick her up, but I was limited of my means and I offered the best and honest alternative that i can do.... and it was just wasn't enough. I really don't blame her, knowing her well..... but my intentions was I dun wanna her to wait that long for me, I know she doesn't like that. I couldn't leave my work too cos of my bosses were not around I'm suppose to look after the place.
And this wasn't the only occassion.

We talked about going to KL on Dec... and a few occassions too.... but because of some $ problems I have, sigh. All these really made me feel... lousy ya know. I can only say that I'm really fortunate to have met her and still have her as a good friend... though at times I really wish I could take up a step further. Dammit if I were more well off I'd go all out for her. Hardly can I find someone who I can get along so well despite the differences we have... and after seeing some of the people I've been through, really makes me appreciate her more. Things that I'm not so likely to tell her... hmm.

It's not gonna be a smooth year end for me, I can only look forward to 2009, that's when my apprenticeship finally ends and I'll starting going through a true working life. Very likely that I'll stay with Rolls-Royce, since I'm the type who stubbornly wouldn't budge when I found my comfort zone.

I think its time....

2008-09-12T02:13:00.002+08:00

... to look at what I am going after really. Just moments ago, I found out that I'm just not ready to get into a relationship with anyone, in the most embarassing, unimaginable and possibly the most humiliating (to me) way. I become someone whom I thought I've kept locked for good inside me.... but it just somehow broke free and came out again. Basically.... I just broke down. I really did and I... simply have no words for it.

It's been about 3 years since I started looking at older ladies out there.... I think it's time that I take a break myself and re-discover what am I truly seeking. Or I should just not seek a partner and just... be alone for a while and let myself settle into the world around me once again. I now feel so silly to not heed the advices that were given to me all these years. Gosh, what did I land myself into.

I'll just live each day as it is... for now.

A truth about me

2008-09-11T15:47:00.003+08:00

I am dating older women. Yes, many of you may have not noticed that until today. Why older women? Well it all started after my first ex-gf left me some years back. I went through a long period of depression, my self-esteemed went to an all time low and in that period, lost touch with my then best mate. Then just like that, I woke up and told myself I should just move on... something which yes, I should've done a long time ago. Comeon', that was my first experience, okay.

At that time I wasn't looking to get into another relationship, I knew I wasn't ready and just lived my live by the day. Self indulgence had never been so great. Some girls came and went... a bit of fling here and there that was as far as I went. Then I got tired of the girls of around my age, they just seem to be.... I dunno. Maybe I went through some form of transformation and found myself more interested in the adult working lifestyle. Days of having fun in groups, arcades, chalets and bbq.... not that appealing. And the girls... I really don't fancy the weird fashion trend. Japanese act cute "kawaii" pose... pui. That's when I decided to venture to the middle-aged ladies...

What I like about older ladies is that certain charm in them which seriously, I cannot find the words to describe. Poised, elegant, sophiscated... no more hard-charging young people lifestyle, I was looking for something slower and relaxed. Women in office wear and heels = sexy. Women in evening wear = gorgeous. You'd think that these people are just out there to seeking to settle down with someone... well maybe yes, but you'd be surprised that there are some who still have the kid in them and not afraid to show it. Those... well you can't really tell from the outside, right? You just gotta know them... getting to know them is the interesting part.

You see in this asian society, or this region or whatever.... men dating older women isn't really an accepted idea, unlike in the western. Chinese... being chinese... strongly believes that a man should always date a younger and youthful looking woman. Fuck that shit. Look at the trend these days... more and more guys are going for older women... but from what I see is usually for just a specific purpose... or need. And more are getting bolder and bloody cheeky too. They can just ask directly, like "do you want to go to a hotel tonight?" that kind of thing. WTF man.

The ladies themselves... well actually not all are that innocent too. All adults have their needs too... including women, right? Those who are more open would seek younger male companions too. Harder, stronger and last longer.... plus good looking for some, why not? But talking about getting into a relationship with one, takes more than just sweet-talking and boyish looks to work. Trust me.

I've heard of couples with big age gaps around... but how long they actually last being together, I'm not too sure about that. I now kinda find for me to go into a r/s with an older lady is like buying a car and taking a loan while you're earning an income which you can bearly survive. In a way, it's like I'm taking a step out of the door to get owned, when I know that's gonna happen to me. Really, sometimes I just don't know what I'm doing. I follow my heart most of the time and I live my life one day at a time... just taking whatever I can grab hold of. Maybe this is just a phase, I'll go back to getting someone who is around age... maybe I'll go for even older ones? Or I could just go single for the rest of my life... I can really imagine that. Me, successful, a house of my own and drive the car of my dream... but just without someone to share with. Sigh....

I'm beginning to get tired of being the nice guy that I am. I'm one who doesn't ask for much in return, but I can feel that.... I need something in return. For once, I wish I can show my attention and affection to someone, and receive the same in return.

Mah Birf-dae!

2008-06-08T02:58:00.003+08:00

Usually in the past years, my birthday has always been just like any other day... nothing special or unique about it, not much celebration too. This 26th birthday of mine, sort of broke that combo haha. I didn't get any presents, but I received many well wishes, greetings and especially lunches and dinner for the past week and omg, suddenly I almost couldn't fit into my pants! It is scary... I am putting on so much weight than ever before. People have been telling that they have seen such a big change in size in me.... I really gotta do something about it. Well my IPPT window has past, obviously didn't pass... so the remedial training should be a good start to it lol...

On my birthday, I spent the whole day with her... someone who I thought I'd never see again. It was really great to spend the time with her, but eh.. ever since the day after my birthday, no word again. God knows why she did that again... but I'm just going to assume that work is keeping her real busy. As silly it may sound... I'll stay patient and wait till she appears again... however long it takes. If you ask me why would I do that.... I just can't give you an explanation. Somehow she's kinda special to me... one that I believe that I shouldn't let her slip away. Mmm....

The cake that she bought for me. Thank you for the wonderful time! :)

Another bombshell...

2008-05-04T09:07:00.002+08:00

Some time after the last post, things somehow got a bit better. In fact actually, she didn't want to end contact, according to her she said those things while under pressure and thus the rash decisions. To me, I'm just glad that we're still in contact. We even had a :"bonus meet" just last Wednesday night.

Then just some 3 hours ago, in the middle of the night, she came online to tell me that she'd lost a lot during her majong session in her house. So much that she claimed that she won't be able to afford entertainment and leisure for the rest of the year. Then she went to say that she won't be able to meet me on my birthday and subsequent birthdays... in other words basically, we won't get to see each other again... for like almost forever.

Initially this came as a shock... because 1) out of the blue she came to tell me this in the middle of the night and 2) she lost like what appears to be a huge part of her savings in the game of majong. Then as I began to digest what's going on, some things don't make much sense. How can one be one lost so much money, until you're forced to forgo entertainment and leisure... for the rest of the year? If it's till the end of the month, that I can understand.... but for the whole year??? Can't possibly place her salary amount in advanced right? I asked if she had to own money to her majong friends and she said no. I mentioned that we don't neccessary need to spend money whenever we hang out and she replied that she wouldn't feel happy if she were to go out and restrict herself with the spending. Alright, for a lady this may be a serious issue.... but on that Wednesday night, I really do not recall seeing spend a single cent while she was with me, apart from the food we had in Cafe Cartel which I paid for it. It just doesn't add up.

The next thing was that ok, she loves majong and occassionally have friends over at her place or she goes to others. Majong is a game of luck and skill.... agreed. But if you know that someone is losing so much in the game, till a point that it's affecting his/her personal life.... do you still have the conscious to continue playing? Or would you advise that person to stop... if not you yourself back off from the game and stop the game altogether? I mean to continue playing, knowing that its like you're stealing luck from that person and making her go into a silent miserable state... is just fucking sick. Either her friends didn't know of her situation, or they're just sick people. At one part of time, she told me that I've couldn't believe that insane amount of bets those guys are playing with, I could come down and see it for myself. So I said yea, I'll come down. The next reply was, what was I gonna do when I'm there. Well obviously I would wanna see the huge bets for myself and ask if they knew that she lost so much in the games. Then she replied that she wasn't ready to open our relationship to the others and started to divert the attention to elsewhere...where she basically says that I don't understand. Alright I don't understand, coz her words are confusing and doesn't add up to many things. I called her instead and what I hear was an irritated voice of hers. To sum it up, she said that I was paranoid, acting childish, it wasn't the right time for her to explain and hung up on me.

Looking back now, I believed that compared to the previous incident, I had handled the situation much better than before. How was I childish? I was merely trying to find answers to fill up the missing pieces so that I can understand what's going on. Alright, maybe that was being childish of me to do that... but you can't expect me to take that lightly. At first I thought she was trying to pull my leg... throwing me such a bombshell. If she had knew me well enough, especially from that time when she threw the breakup, she would have known how I'd react to it. On that Saturday morning itself, she said that I could drive to her place that night so she could help me with the car wash... something which I was looking forward. Then during evening she smsed that her frens wanna hold a majong session at her place and asked to do the wash another time. Who wouldn't feel disappointed after hearing that... but because on that Wednesday night her fren had "jio" her out while she was with me... so it's only fair to return the favour. Thinking about it, this wouldn't have happened if she had declined the majong, right? But she's a majong freak... what can I say. In a way I feel really bad, like if only I had insisted that we meet instead and stuff... but according to her, that's not the point of the discussing, what happened has happened.... a similar phrase used when she broke up with me.

Really, I couldn't help but to think about this the whole night through. I did sleep... but I wished that it was forever. I dropped some message into her MSN, saying that I'm gonna leave her alone for a while until things cool down and that she's ready to explain what is really going on. Sigh... the best thing is I'd still forgive her. Gosh, why do I always fall for the .... argh nevermind.

A Great Chapter In My Life

2008-04-22T18:27:00.002+08:00

It all started early this year, where I came to know this girl online. I never really expect myself to find a pleasant surprise out of this new person, but as we slowly got along, I could feel there is something special about her. It wasn't too long before we met for the first time and it was a great first meet. It may look kinda rushed, but soon after we got together. It was unusual for me coz, I haven't been in a relationship for a really long time... I have came across a few opportunities but I contemplated all the while, wasn't sure that I was prepared to commit again since my first ex. This time, to me, it felt like it was the right time and that I should go for it... and I'm glad that I did so. Although we don't get to meet much, but each meet was like special... the feeling of holding her hands and walking down the streets was something I haven't felt in years... a kind of assurance that makes nothing else matters, as long as I'm with her. No one's perfect and she's no exception, but she is someone who I can stare at the whole day and not get sick of it, not even one bit. Silly as it may sound, but it is like no definate word to describe how much joy she brought me, with just her presence.

But... it wasn't made to last. In some situations she couldn't handle it well as she had thought and that lead to a few not-so-good instances... but I forgave her and tried to talk her into sharing her problems. Age was one of the issue... I was alright with it, but she had doubts. In the end, she realised that she wanted to focus on her career instead... and going into a relationship now wasn't the best to do so. What really made me soft and a little confused was that she had her concerns on me too, that I should go for other girls of my age... I read that when girls say things like "it's not you, the problem lies with me " and other stuff, it means something else. I'm probably that dumb enough not to know what is it. I mean... how would you feel, if you were in my shoes, you're happily being with someone when suddenly she wants to end it all just like that? I know what I did, and I reacted to that in the most horrible way... so bad that I should shoot myself in the leg for even thinking about it. Sigh.

After some thoughts, it came through to me that yeah... maybe its not the right time to be together, but we can still be friends, right? Right....?

And then came the 2nd blow,

To end a relationship is one thing... but to end being friends and stop contact altogether is really a different matter. How am I to just forget someone, who is literally a part of my life, just like that? Especially when when there is no hatred involved? Even after she had threw all sorts of words to push me away, some even struck me in the heart, I just can't find a reason to hate her in any way. She said I was confused... but really I beg to differ. She is important in my life because of the impact she made on my life, when we were together... that's probably what she didn't know. I treasure my little circle of friends as they are almost like my lifeline... to lose any is really.... an unimaginably difficult thing to get through.

During the final moments with her in MSN, I poured out as much as I could the things I wanted to say to her.... for after that I'll be blocked in her list. I was close to tears, my fingers trembling slightly and feeling myself in a crushed state. Really... saying goodbye is the hardest thing I've ever gone through emotionally.

I couldn't stand the torture, so after that I called up my "24hr full time Aunt Agony", C. Can't help myself but to pour out my painful grievances and sorrows and whatever burning inside me... just glad to know that, even when it feels like the world is coming to an end, it's a wonder how a listening ear can calm the most turbulant minds.

Now thinking it all back.... I just I guess have to learn to accept what's coming to me now. I respect her decisions and maybe she's right, it's better this way. You know actually... since the begining of this year, I've kept every single SMS I've recieved in my phone.... including hers. Don't ask me why... a total of 1131 SMSes you ppl sent me. We didn't take a picture together somehow and I didn't have a picture of her in my phone.... but if there is something to remember her of, it's through these SMSes from her, from the first ever message she sent to me till the *sigh*... unpleasant last one. Heh... just scrolling through those earlier few brought great memories of us together... I will definately never forget her, as she did gave me the happiest moments in my life and I'm glad to have came across her in my life. "Knowing that my life will have to go one without you makes me sad" was one of the messages she wrote, likewise here... but she also said that time will heal everything... and finally after a long while, I agree with her. I am hopeful though, that I can one day hear or meet up with her again.... but..... well let's see what the future and fate holds.

Thanks for all your love, Aslyn. It's been great hanging out with you... one who I can never forget. Will love you always.

LOL...

2008-02-14T21:38:00.001+08:00

As it turns out... it didn't end that way. Silly me, over-reacting and being paranoid lol....

Scenario re-visited

2008-02-13T23:18:00.002+08:00

If it hadn't affected me that much, I wouldn't be here writing at all.

What happens if, a person whom you've been keeping in touch with, just suddenly "disappears"? How would you react? What would go through in your mind? What is it that burning question looming inside you that desires an answer so badly?

Normally, one would start thinking about what happened to the other. Optimistically, perhaps too tired. Or left the phone somewhere. Maybe lost it? As time drag on, it is then slowly realized that it no longer a simply incident. The thoughts start to point to himself. What did I do wrong? Did I do anything wrong in the first place? Surely not... insensitive I may have been at times but from the last exchange of conversation, things were really normal.

And when you start to run out of possible reasons... you start to question "What is going on??!"

It was really unexpected to go through this, for the 3rd time. I could vividly recall the first time this sort of thing happened... and took me months just to get through and over with. I was still in secondary school at time, probably had a really weak mind. It was until years later, unexpectedly we got in touch again and there, I finally got to find out why.

The 2nd one remained unsolved... and it contained some really unpleasant memories, so much that I wouldn't want to even think about it right now.

And now once again... gosh. Alright for one thing, I know I am so not gonna get dreaded over with this because it is really, a big waste of time to do so. And some thanks to a dear friend of mine whom I was over the phone last night, we had a good arguement on how we think about it, I now know how this.... this kind of, how do you put it... "tactic" i put it bluntly, works.

Really, all I wanted was to hear that she was safe and alright, to allow me to have at least a peace of mind and let me sleep.

After some thoughts from last night, I'm kinda prepared to not hear from her for a long time, should she choose to do so....

it was really great knowing ya. Really wish I could spend more time getting to know you better....

And so it is 2008 now...

2008-01-02T22:59:00.000+08:00

Oh yes... 2007 has been quite a year. I've learnt so much from work, skipped so many lessons at class, came across interesting people whom come and have gone... and as usual, I went missing from the blogging scene for a period of time. I was gonna enter this blog entry on the very first day of the new year... or rather that was what I had intended. After finally browsing some other blogs, it somehow gave me that push to actually log in and do this. Who knows, I might just go missing again... that's anyone's guess, including myself.

In the final days before the turn of the new year, some emotions ran high in me. I was beginning to show signs of "undesirable male behaviour" and frankly, I couldn't help it. All these complications... is really fucking the mind. Perhaps the problem with me is that I'm always sticking to my comfort zone and i stubbornly won't move out of it. The same applies to my personal life. As much as I hate admitting it, that is probably the other side of me... whom only a real few get to see or has seen. And those few, of all the people I know... ah nevermind. I think I just gotta push myself to move on. One depression state is more than enough for a lifetime. Especially for such matter... yeah its not worth it. Better do something about it before I start hurting feelings and losing people again.

For this new year, apart from going through the homestretch of my traineeship course.. I have absolutely no idea what's ahead of me. For now the next big thing to look for forward is getting a car of my own... which I'm setting my sights on this at the end of the year. Hope some luck is on my side.

Lol....

2007-10-17T22:24:00.000+08:00

Haha... should I return to blogging... or not? Hmm.... really ya know, I wish I could insert blog entries with my mind. :D Takes away the hassle of typing and trying to recall what the hell am I suppose to write... or you log in and then your mind goes blank...

Well, just to let anyone out there to know that, I'm still alive here... just darn fucking lazy at the moment lol. :D

1 1/2 years gone, another 1 1/2 years to go...

2007-06-10T21:17:00.000+08:00

It looked as if time flew by pretty fast... but to me it felt like eternity.

I'm talking about my automotive course, duh.

I feel that 3 years is taking too long. The rate of learning is still slow. Although I am always learning new stuff at the workshop, there are times where there is almost absolutely nothing to do... bordem is inevitable. Really, I would rather have a crash course and complete the whole learning process within a year... so that I can be paid a proper salary of that of a qualified mechanic... which will open a whole new door of the possiblity of... anything!

And I'm almost had enough of staying single... sigh.

I had a dream just now...

2007-06-05T22:49:00.000+08:00

Usually I dream a lot at night, just that none ever leaves a lasting impression in my head when i wake up... plus none of them makes sense. Then just a few hours ago i took a nap, saw a dream... till now its STILL vividly in my mind. Guess its worth writing it down... whatever it means.

The first part of it was sketchy, although my mind keeps telling me "cruise ship" somewhere. The plot was that I had borrowed a car, from a relative in Malaysia, and my mum tells me that I would have to return it to them... meaning drive it all the way back north. No location specified, but had the feeling that it's really long journey. The car i remembered was dark purple Nissan Silvia, like this:

Err... minus that wing and the big-ass exhaust, plus the colour more to the dark side... yeah that's the exact pic that i remembered. Never get to see the front of it.

So, i was on this err cruise ship, on some holiday, with my mum and see tells me that I have to return the car later that night. Ok. Then she went off to somewhere, I while i ventured around when I came across a table with people who somehow knows me... and I have no idea who they are. They called me over to join them and so I did. I could remember there were some caucasians, with one or two looking familiar to me, but yet i could not recall anything. They were talking about going on a holiday or something, but I just couldn't care less.

Ok here's where even more nonsense come into play. We had our chat and drinks and decided to leave. Then I came across an elavator which actually opens its door to another room. Then all of a sudden I found myself in an exhibition centre... and there's this blue Toyota Vios right in front of me. It supposedly belongs to one of the people at the table, and he said to me that I could take it for a spin. Alright, so I did. I clearly remembered that this car is a LEFT-HAND DRIVE (which does not exist lol) and it's a stick stift. I drove it around the exhibition hall and suddenly, I found myself in a race of somesort, against supercars. So I was like driving really fast in that erm Vios and I had a hard time shifting the gears cos it was heavy and stiff. Then I remembered taking the corners at ludicrious speeds and doing a bit of sliding here and there... practically enjoying myself!

Then I stopped and 2 ladies stuck their head into the passenger window.... I told them the gear knob is friggin' hard to shift, and they told me yeah. One of them was a complete stranger with really dark complexion, the other was someone who was familiar to be but still can't make out who... she was fair and had shoulder-lenght hair. I got of the car, feeling high and satisfied and somehow for no reason, looking forward to driving that Nissan up north.

And that was when i woke up.

Yep.... as usual the whole thing doesn't make sense, huh?

Happie Birf-dae 2 mi

2007-06-04T16:19:00.000+08:00

Todae it are mai birf-dae. 2 mi, it are liek ani ah-der dae.

Ahh.. i can't talk we bad as those lolcats, anyway so far received some online greets, no sms so far and to date the only person who has ever done something for me is C... thanks for the lunch treatie!

Usually when someone's birthday has arrived, most would ask where, when and how they're celebrating. Gee.. that's like a very embarrassing question for me to answer. If i had my way, I would want every single person who knows me to present a birthday gift to me! everyone! then at night, a feast for everyone and party non-stop till late!

Yeah right. Plus i've got my exam papers tomorrow morning... Oh well, i'm only 25... there're plenty of more birthdays to go, there will bound to be a memorable one to happen sometime. :P

Ok so i lied...

2007-05-20T22:29:00.000+08:00

Comeon! its not easy to get back to blogging ya know! Mmm! I've been busy getting tired, playing America's Army online and watching Discovery Channel on the internet... and quite apparently I have problem prioritizing and incorporating blogging into my daily routine.

Patience, patience.

Meanwhile, a little update... my weekend was great. Company DnD at Rasa Sentosa on Saturday night (didn't win any prize, extremely sad lol) and Sunday morning went to Kallang to check out the Sprint and Supersprint racing event, followed by blading at East Coast Park with ConCon :p. Pretty tired now, so.... zzzzz...

Where Did I Go???

2007-05-18T00:20:00.000+08:00

Good question. Frankly... I've forgetten all about my blog. There has been some happenings in the past 3 months.... but I'm just too darn lazy to dig it all out again.

So we'll just start it from here.

Tomorrow that is. :D This blog needs a new face too.

Time now is 12:26am = bed time! Zzzz....

Updates, straight from my head

2007-02-11T22:33:00.000+08:00

Finally, my new computer is done... well at least the essentials are all in and now it's up and running. Initally had some problems with the video card driver which kept me troubled for about a week or so, but I managed to get it fixed and... I'm happy! May not be the fastest computer around, but at least I can still keep up with technology. Also, at last a DVD-RW drive in hand... I'm so way behind right? Doesn't matter, all these little achievements make me happy, and that's good for me. :p Next up, getting some proper cooling for the computer internals.

The VW Caddy is....sigh, showing signs that its clutch is about to go kaput. It was going aright, until one day by bro told me that the clutch biting point was very very low. He hadda put the foot the all the way down in order to engage any gear.... the reverse gear was even worse. Force the knob into 'R' and you'll hear this gut-wrenching gear grinding sound... urgh! This is gonna cost a lot. :( Also, the driver side door lock is faulty. It was fixed just about a little over a year ago... gosh so much for reliabilty. And that timing belt system.... always in my mind.... 3 more years this car has to last. Strike lottery pls pls pls plsplspls......

Since the begining of the year, work has been... rather slow actually. Somehow not many cars came in, most of the time was spent idling or doing some equipment maintaince or... watch the fishies in the locker room. There has been some changes in the staff movement though. CJ has been promoted to run the workshop operations, taking over Derrick's duties. Derrick now is doing Rolls-Royce full-time and that means he has more time for himself. Was told by him that he's gonna draw up a training plan for me for Rolls-Royce to start next month... heh finally, some PROPER training. I'll still work on the Minis though, probably not as much as before. Tomorrow, we'll be having a poly undergraduate doing his attachment in our workshop for the next 2 months and a half... yay can show my "senior powers" LOLz.

New this year was my weekly classes at AMK ITE. Again it's freakin' far from my home, and with class starting at 8am, i hadda force myself up at 6am and then take the loooong journey to school. Last year, most of the time i skipped a number of classes is cuz of the freaking long journey. This year is no different; i already missed 2 days of classes. :p

In a few days time, it'll be Valentine's Day. So far in previous years, that meant nothing to me. I was joining the thousands of self-denying, depressed singles, telling ourselves "ah who needs V-day? just stay at home and blahblahblah..." This year, I felt that the "let's just sit and wait and hope something good happens" ain't really gonna work after all, so I decided to well, at least make an attempt to "see if I still got it". Recently came to know a girl late last year, and if you somehow always have thoughts about her for no apparent reason and that is not in anyway R-rated too, it gotta mean something right? It's not out of impulse, we hanged out with each other a few times and frequently chat online, having a lot of good laughs and all. Plus with this V-day thingy coming, can this be an opportunity?

Actually, I'm not extactly sure of what I'm doing here.

Ultimatlely, it takes 2 hands to clap. Let's just see how it goes... :\

Oh! It's.... 2007 already!

2007-01-10T21:35:00.000+08:00

LOL... oh my, when was the last time I entered an entry inside here? Frankly, I had literally forgetten that I had a blog here, but ah well, who reads it anyway! :p It wasn't until Stef went to a comment inside... which reached into my email and I was like "OH!"

Well, 2006 was... quite alright, but this new year started off rather... hmm. Was out with a couple of people during NYE and was stuck in the jam while trying to hehe... drive to a spot to see some fireworks action. We conveniently got stuck at a not a bad place, saw some good lights in the sky, hee.

Work-wise, things haven't been going smooth. There was a seminar held by BMW on the new Mini Cooper due to reach our shores somewhere in May... and they never let me go. :( But nevermind, was told that there's a Malaysian Rolls-Royce Phantom which is due for some major servicing, and my supervisor NEEDS me to go along. :D It's major alright, all the spare parts, equipment... BRAKE DISCS (one alone weighs about... 5kg? And we're gonna change... all 4?)... at the moment the trip is yet to be confirmed, how we're gonna go there (Alor Star I think), my boss says he hopes we can have a flight there... personally, I prefer to go by car.:D Mad eh me? I drive lah, aiyoh! lol...

Also in the works these days, I've been planning to build a D.I.Y. PC to replace this aging one I'm using. It's been working fine for a good solid I-dunno-how-many years and it is STILL going well... but I need something else to catch up with the increasing technology speed. So, since sometime last month, I started to slowly buy parts to be pieced together... right now most of the essentials are installed, currently doing some burn-in runs before I install the OS. So far what's inside the box is a AMD Athlon XP 3000+ Barton CPU, on a Gigabyte GA-7S748 mobo, a Cooler Master Aero 7 heatsink fan, with 256MB DDR PC3200 RAM installed (got a 512MB stick on standby, to be installed as well prior to installing the OS), GeForce 6200 256MB AGP x8 vid card and a 160GB Seagate IDE harddrive on hand. I've yet to get more stuff and arrange the cooling fans to complete the system... can't blow all my $$$ and eat grass for the rest of the month right? will show pics when everything is in place. :)

Been hanging out with some fun people too, especially with the ppl in the Cars@SGforums... suddenly dunno why got some many meetups lol... The VW Caddy is still going fine, recently gave it some wax treatment. Oh ya.... also been driving some Mini's on the road too (finally). Not used to being on lane 1, doing 100km/h lah! :p Also realized that I've been doing about 80 on the e-way.... when i thought I was doing the legal 70 for my car... omg I've been.... SPEEDING! YEEAHHHHHHHHH! >:D This coming Friday night there's ANOTHER forum meetup... and since bro is away in Thailand till weekend... weeee car is mine weeeeee. lol...

November update!

2006-11-09T23:42:00.000+08:00

Haha... took me long to realise myself that I haven't put in an entry for a month already. Kinda forgot what happened during the past 30 days... gee I think i needa put some sort of schedule for this. Or do I need to in the first place?

Nah. :p

Let's see... ah yes! It's all coming back to me.... last month I bought quite a number of stuff. Thanks to some scholarship award given to me ($$$!), plus in the hands of someone who has a thing for spending... well some should know better. Sorry no pics for today, really lazy.

Firstly, I got a new pair of blades. The previous ones was actually not that fitting, gave me a black mark in one of my toenails. This new one is sooo much better, fits comfortably, looks cool... and a brand called Landway from Korea. Well the skate shop I went was having some promotion going on so.. yeah. So far so good. :p I've put up an auction of my old pair for sale, if anyone's interested, Go here.

Next, an item that I had been eyeing for quite a while... An Ipod Mini! Silver in colour and bought it off from Yahoo Auctions. It's used of course, but the exterior is still in great condition, almost virtually scratchless. Plus it was going at a relatively low price, quite low for a 4GB player in my opionion. Finally I am part of the trend. :p

Just about 2 weeks ago, I got myself a new phone... a Nokia 6280. I had been eyeing at that for months already... I was looking for a replacement for my aging 6600 as it was too bulky. What I like about this 6280 is that visually, It looks simple. I dunno, I just like it, find that its one of the more attractive phone with that price range... plus on that weekend M1 was having a promotion with it... so I took it. Happiness. :p

... but that lasted for only a few days.

I was aware that the earlier batches were really problematic, that was what held me back from buying it earlier. Then when I read that there were new improves made to the sofware, so I thought it's probably the best time to get it. After just a few days of use, the slider got rough, to a point that I can't push it up with my thumb alone. OK nevermind, let the ppl at Nokia get it fixed.

Ended up waiting for 5 days before the repairs were done. Stocks for the replacement part was out and they happy happy kept my phone there ove the weekend. Obivously I got pissed, calling them up several times to check on the progress. I had to call them to find out myself that the phone was already done, but they didn't inform me when it was done so. No wonder Singapore has slipped down the ranks in the recent survey of Customer Services around the world.

As of now, I've been sitting in front of my computer for I think... approximately 4 or 5 hours already. I had some bad bad backache since Monday... most probably due to the extended blading session I had last Sunday. Went to see the company doc, said it could be something serious... referred me to the poly clinic for a 2nd opinion, that one says it's most likely to be some sprain. Not working till end of the week. :p But it hurts right now as I'm typing... not that much but... ow.

No blading for at least week. Boo hoo. :(

A small tribute to one of the greatest canine friend, Toby

2006-10-08T23:16:00.000+08:00

Was gonna write about my visit to the newly opened Vivio City at Harbourfront, but I decided to write about Toby first. He's Laura's family pet Labrador Retriever, who had passed away recently due to cancer.

I was shocked when I learnt that Toby had passed away, it was so sudden. To me, Toby was always a strong and healthy canine fella... great at age but yet a kid at heart. In fact, it was Toby who made me gave me the great interest in dog handling and training during my vocational training while serving NS. I could remember the first time I met Toby when I visited Laura's house for the first time, I had never seen such a huge dog in my life! At time I was a little afraid of getting too near to any dog, a big fella like Toby didn't really help much either.. but eventually I learnt that he is the friendliset dog ever. I will always remember him pounching onto me and humping my leg whenever I visit her house.... he will do that without fail. No coaxing can help, I had to literally push him down and off my leg! And from time to time, his action would stain my shirt, heh...

He's also super obedient at times. One of best tricks Laura showed me was his ability to listen to NO! when a piece of bread or food is placed on his nose. He would just sit there and wait... and wait... and wait... until someone says OK!, in a blink of an eye, the food would disappear from his nose and into his mouth. He's really playful, no doubt. He'll play a game of ball with great enthusiasm or chase anything with lotsa gust... and also he'll poke his nose into anything anyone is doing. There was one time Laura brought home Tiro, a little kitten and Toby just couldn't stop bringing his nose onto him.

Toby has endured great pain as well.... that time when he was attacked by 2 of the neighbour's Golden Retrievers that left him with punctured wounds and his ear nearly bitten off. It looked pretty serious, but in the end he made a fantastic full recovery.

In almost every way, he reminds me of Noby and Antis... those 2 SAF guard dogs that I stil truly miss. The last time I heard of them they were still doing well. Antis, who was injured during a freak accident fall, recovered just like Toby, is now still jumping and running like the wind like he was before.

It was real unfortunate that cancer struck Toby, and that he had to suffer so much. I can understand why Laura and her family couldn't bear to see Toby being put to sleep.... I was right there when Atos, one of the guard dogs in my time, was suffering for bloated stomach and wasn't making any good progress. I had rushed him to the animal hospital, it was his 3rd visit within weeks. The vet informed me of his bad condition, said she'll try her best to save him... but when that message was relayed back to the Dog Master, he said to end Atos misery and put him to sleep. As someone who had recently developed a keen passion for dogs, to hear that was utterly disappointing. Me and the other 2 trainers who were with me said our last good byes to Atos before the vet gave him the final shot. I literally saw his life vanishing through his eyes... i really couldn't describe how awful and hurt i was when i was right there.

As I begin to end this tribute, my eyes begin to shed tears for Toby. It's been really great having you around, good 'ol boy. Despite tearing up things and knocking stuff over, you brought great joy to whoever had known you,including myself. You'll be in my heart as long as I live as well. Rest in peace.

It sucks

2006-10-03T22:43:00.000+08:00

It sucks to know that people think that you're not that good as you thought you would be.

It sucks have many contacts in your list, but only a few would actually bother to talk or hold a conversation with you.

It sucks to be born with a personality that you aren't exactly proud of.

It sucks to lose the key to the car, and that you have to pay for it... a lot.

It sucks to have the ones who you feel most comfortable, to treat you like you're just another guy that comes and goes.

It sucks to talk to people who will end up blocking you cuz you can't click with them. Sometimes that's mutal... still it sucks.

It sucks to have a suspected late-night eating disorder.

It sucks to take leave on Friday and Saturday, only to know that your plans ain't gonna happen cuz the other is not free.

It sucks to have a new guy at work, that looks gay, talks gay and acts gay... and he's fuckin' balding.

It sucks to take a leap in faith, that doesn't work out in the end.

It sucks to be in a situation, where you're totally not prepared for.

It sucks to talk to rich bastards... you throw money at me, I'll just pick them up and walk away.

It sucks to not know and understand your own dialect group. Please don't bring me to China.

It sucks to know of someone who you thought you had feelings for, has changed totally.

It sucks to know what you feared has come true.

It sucks to feel that no one kinda understands what you're going through.

I have to put all these behind. I was loser before and I will not be one again. I've tried to stay positive for so long and I will not give that up.

Then again there's no denying on whoa I really am inside me. Some should know, others have no clue.

Ladies, do not mess with your boyfriends if he has issues with anger managment....

2006-09-14T22:03:00.000+08:00

He just might do what this guy did to your beloved car.

If I were to wish for something right now...

2006-09-14T00:56:00.000+08:00

... I wish I had a better mouth. My lips are too thick, it's ugly and whatever words that comes out from always gets me into some stupid trouble. :s

"Mini owners in Singapore are so.... like that, hai..."

2006-09-12T22:04:00.000+08:00

Personally, I tend to agree. Mini came from BMW, and BMW cars are like so expensive. People who buy high-priced cars usually expect high level of reliablity, quality and performance, not only from the cars themselves, after-service as well. You pay so much, must you expect so much as well? Hmm...

Ever since my company took over the Mini dealership at the beginning of this year, it hasn't really been going smooth sailing. Too much to put into here... but currently what I'm noticing now are the problems with a certain recent Mini model, parts department still not efficent enough, sales not doing fanstastically good and the main concern for most of the service guys here... the real lack of manpower. Since the beginning of the year, 2 CSOs, 2 mechanics and 1 service manager have left. One of our current CSO is just slightly younger than me and he is not exactly good at handling customers in general. Our current service manager is actually the guy who interviewed me when i first came to the company, and he is doing both Porsche and Mini side... hence he only appears in either workshops for like half a day. We only have 2 mechanics (me not included) to do the Mini servicing and repairs, although one very senior guy has just been recently transferred from Saab side to here but.. sigh. My immediate supervisor... well i just follow him whenever i can, a RR comes and we both work on it, if not just do Mini.

I was browsing through the web and found the local Mini website forum, and when i took a look inside... boy they were lashing at how terrible the dealer servicing is. Can't help to initially have this thought of.... "Wah lao!" Then after a short pulse, really, we service guys didn't wanna have such problems too. I would say that we guys have no problems getting cars fixed, but if the car wasn't designed well... what can we do? ya we can come up with solutions... if we can't find the best possible solutions, what made others better? Yes, although our company has only like 9 months of experience with Mini, but I'm pretty sure we have more hands on with the cars than anyone here in Singapore. Of course, the customer always have the choice, to come here or go elsewhere. Actually at my level now I shouldn't even be bothered by all these, my priority is to learn the skills... but there's also this thing called pride, and I think i am very fortunate to be working in this company. Our big boss have even won this year's "Best company boss of the year" (or something like that) award. Meh... i wait to see if got any bonus or $$$ :D

Haven't seen someone for quite a while, I suppose heavy work load is the cause. Weekends have been quite lonely as well... hope it changes soon. Next month is full of birthdays of the ones close to me... come to think of it, it's pretty exciting in some way. :)

Argggghh, I'm getting sick again!!!

2006-09-06T23:08:00.000+08:00

I've been having this pain sensation in my left side of the throat since monday and its been getting progressively growing worse. Now my whole throat hurts like hell whenever i tried to swallow. Took a peek into my mouth with a mirror and torchlight and omg... so swollen red and ewww... some white patches here and there. Last night was horrendous, i couldnt sleep properly, even had to get off the bed to gargle some salt water. I tried almost every remedy for sore throats that i can get my hands on.... gargling salt water, soda, mouthwash.... even bought some cayenne pepper to make this water to gargle, which initially kinds burns my tongue a little instead. Sucking sweets, drink water whenever i can (same goes to the toilet visits), lozenges.... still it got worse. So far gargling helps the most, only in a temporary sense.

Now i've getting some runny nose, fuckin' hell i'm getting sick again. :(

After letting it out last night... it made me realised what i had just had in my mind at that time. Sometimes you have thoughts that covered so many areas... so you think. It wasnt until this morning that i felt kinda foolish and somewhat stupid to have such thoughts and to think i was like.... hahaha look i'm laughing at myself! GG. :p

Alright i gotta go back to nursing my inflamed throat... my last weekend of solo skating was great, not gonna miss this coming one either.

Actually....

2006-09-05T23:47:00.000+08:00

... I hate to be alone. It seems ironic coming from a guy with is shy by nature. Though I'd rather go out alone than which other people, it is more like i rather go out with the ones who i wanna go out with than hanging out with a bunch just for company sake. Very contradicting indeed huh.

It's been years since my last relationship, but now some of the familiar feelings are coming back. It's like you know, when the conditions are right, things somehow fall into place blahblahblah.... only this time, new factors come into play. Very obvious ones.

It's sucks really. When ya like sucked into this sort of hole, not really by choice.... and you just don't know what to do. Get out or plow through? I would wanna get out, I'm not exactly in a position to be capable of maintaining an attach relationship yet... but the feelings are overwelming. Okok not that much.... But to me, it's a rare phenomenon, something that is too good to miss. Age is no longer a matter... yeah it's THAT strong.

Then again, being myself.. i am always insecure, especially when comes to dealing with matters than i have failed before. And that's when i'll start to mess up... No no no i dont wanna embaress myself or anyone. Sigh......

Was just finished watching Channel 5's new series Love Stories Anthology Series, for once our local production has actually produced something up to some standard. It was indeed pretty moving and touching, got pulled into the minute i switched my channel over. They were showing different stories with different situations, some ended good, others very sad indeed.

I guess after watching this show, it's best that I.... keep it within myself. For now.

Should I be ashamed? Am I foolish? Recently I'm not really looking forward for the weekends. PMS you can say. I bought myself a pair of rollerblades... so I decided to make weekend blading my weekly event... with or without company.

...of course, i'd rather have some preferred company. :|

The dream machine rages again

2006-08-15T22:53:00.000+08:00

Mmm last week was busy at work... ah what's new. I managed to replace a pair of wishbone brackets... considered as one of the really difficult jobs as those nearly inaccessible nuts are almost impossibly tight. Seriously, it took me half an hour to remove them. Anyway, took an entire day to complete. The feeling? Utterly satisfied. :)

Went for another blading session at East Coast Park during the weekend, I think that pretty made up my mind to get my own pair of blades. With my own, I can go blading whenever I want, wherever I want, how long I wanna blade and wouldn't need to worry about having stinky feet afterwards. I was reeeeally close to getting one just after I got my pay, but i hesitate too much... beside if I had actually bought it during then, I would've been broke by now. Okok, next month me get me some blades for sure!!!

Just last night, i was staying up real late watching my favourite Discovery Channel and it was showing about the Ice Hotel in Finland. It's pretty cool, a hotel completely made from ice, sculpturers and artists brought in from all over the world to create and design the interior.... and when the season is done, the hotel simply melts away until the next season, when it is built once again. How nice it would be to go visit there with a someone... haha i can so imagine that right now. Travelling seem so fun, it one of the things that I would really wanna do in my life. After my Aussie trip 2 years back, I had thought about going backpacking there. Sydney was such an awsome city, the sights and sounds.... all these appeals to me so much. Then just now i was watching a show that was featuring London and that spurred me even more. I wanna find out how it is like to living in a real big city, with endless and confusing roads, complex rail systems, visiting awsome building structures... Mmmm...

And yes, after much consideration and thought, I would really wanna take up motor bike licence. Not that i like riding, but as a cheaper means of personal transport in the future. I mean look at now, every week i spend at least $10 getting to class and work and back. That would work out roughly about $50 a month, excluding the use of the car on weekends. Let's say I get a small bike, like those Malaysians scoot into here. $5-7 for a full tank that can last me for about a week or 5 days at least and cut down travelling time by A LOT. And if my friend doesn't mind, use it for weekends sometimes. What do you think? I know there are the dangers of bike riding on the roads, I did thought about that and that kept me away from it in the past, but now it's about time to start doing things to make my life easier. Getting a bike licence is relatively cheap too i read, a little over maybe $300 and 3 months later voila.

Me riding a Yamaha Spark with those helmet box behind, wearing a full face helmet, what da ya think? lol

I look at myself in the mirror....

2006-08-09T23:21:00.000+08:00

... and suddenly this thought came into my mind....

Am I truly looking positively ahead all the time? Or am I actually running away?

Sigh.

Cycling, blading.... healthy living?

2006-07-24T22:24:00.000+08:00

You can say i'm getting more conscious about my body and... seriously i really really need to get in shape. When your mom says that you're getting fat, you know that there's something needed to be done. The big problem is... not about getting it started, but MAINTAINING it.

About 2 weeks bike, I had the idea of cycling to work instead. My workplace is reasonably near, just about a 10 minute bus ride away. If I could cut down on the daily transport fees and sweat a little before and after work, hey it could really make a difference somewhere $$$.

So I did. Went online to search for a used bike and.... weirdly enough i got myself a bike meant for a young adult. I don't know, I somehow prefer something smaller than a convention 26 inch size.... besides wanted to try to see how it goes. The first fews days was alright, good thing my workplace has shower facility.

The following week i stopped. Partly cos i was getting real tired every morning when i wake up. It's like i need more time to "warm up"... but at the same time i want more sleep!

Gonna try cycle again this Wednesday. Must push myself, must push myself!!!!

Next, the thought of getting a pair blades. The past 2 weekends I was at East Coast Park and.... seeing those ppl gliding through, zipping here and there, listening to music... very very influenced by them! i had thoughts of getting a pair previously, after a session with Stef some months ago, but this time I'm getting more serious about it. Once she gets her own pair, I' gonna go get mine! Weekend thingy... mmmm *Imagines himself blading like a pro in East Coast*

These days, it seems like almost everyone around me are getting sick... fever, flu, cold.. the siffles, yeah especially the sniffles. Surprising not me. :D Probably because last week i was on a water melon bing for 4 days, even had that for lunch alone on one occasion. My friend had warned me about the eating to much due to high natural sugar content... thank goodness for that, made me think twice about doing such a stunt again. However it did erm, gave my body a "system defragmentation and removal of junk files" to my bowel system :p

Half a year has gone and life is still going pretty alright for me.... but i have a feeling i will get bored or sick of it in time to come... I have this strange sensation coming to me, just wanna see how it goes, mmmm....

Loooooong weekend

2006-06-29T21:32:00.000+08:00

Well kinda :p Believe it or not, i haven't been working or schooling since monday till today. Right now i'm current down with a flu, feeling really really uncomfortable. Ok let's see... Monday and Tuesday was suppose to attend what i believe is just one 1 hour class of Life Skills at Yishun... figured out since next week onwards is the start of the 3 week school break for ITE and why the hell travel so far for just 1 lesson, I went to Borders (as usual) instead. Wednesday I had applied leave to accompany my mum to the hospital for her cateract operation, a half day thingy. She was like wobbly after the op. Today I was supposed to go back to the workshop, but the night before I began to have heat throat sensations and cloggy nose, plus i was sweating quite profusely, unable to sleep well throughout the night. Next morning it got worse so when to see the doc instead. It's great to take another day off, but sucks to be sick. :(

Laura came to talk to me online in MSN a couple days ago, she was gonna hold a farewell BBQ at her place this Friday which is tomorrow night. She's gonna be away for 2 years in Melbourne for further studies, leaving in about 2 weeks time. She had mentioned that she would really like to invite me over, but she had some mutal thingy with her current bf, she couldn't. I have nothing against that really... of course I would know how he'd feel if I were to appear. Besides, don't think it's a good idea to have BBQ when i'm still recovering.... one of these days gonna meet up with her for one last time before she leaves. It kinda reminds me of those times in the past while I was with her, how I'd feel if she were to leave for overseas studying. Well times have changed, everyone grown up. :) Lucky her, her bf is gonna study in Sydney, plus he's $$$ so making plans to visit her once every few weeks ain't a problem. So far he's been taking care of her well, doing a real good job of pampering... showering her with this and that and blahblahblah... still if one day he turns his attention to someone else, oooh he's gonna get it.

Talking about BBQ, just last week on Saturday I attended 2 BBQ sessions in the same evening. The first one i was invited by an online friend Vicki whom i err... never met before? I pulled Stef along for this, cos i know i'm not that good with unfamiliar people from the begining. Didn't eat much though, i was still kinda full from lunch earlier on. About an hour later I went to crash into another BBQ session, someone had asked me before I went for the first BBQ about it and... well since i figured out i won't be able to last long in the first BBQ, why not. So after staying for about an hour, mingling with some not so visually babe-attracting males (i think she invited anyone she could get hold of in her online list), i left to pick up my fren, with Stef in the boot :D, sent Stef home and on to the next BBQ.

So far I noticed, all BBQ sessions I have attended so far is always the same. Food aside of course, the one thing i particularly noticed which irritates me a little is the wait for the food to be done. Alright, I understand on a typical BBQ pit area, you only have this one little pit to cook your stuff. Everyone knows that chickens, sweet potatoes and corn take the longest time to cook, these go in first. Next would probably be the sausages ans crab meat and whatever little finger food thingy you have. Quite a bit of ppl are invited, so to keep them occupied while the food is being cooked, fried bee hoon or fried rice are ready on standby to be readily taken. Either can or packet drinks or booze in the cooler box full of ice at the side. Wow sounds organised huh? BBQ should go quite smoothly, one would think... but wait! all BBQ stuff finished....

15 minutes wait for chicken, 5 for sausages, 5 for this and that, 5 for dadadada...

This is the thing. You have to WAIT.

Ya while waiting you can do other things like chat, play cards, mingle, whatever... but what about the poor guy cooking? After his is soaked with oil (haha disgusting eh), shirt drenched in sweat, eyes nearly blinded by the smoke and hands nearly cooked while trying to free a burnt chicken piece stuck in the middle of the grill..

Nevermind.

If I were to host my very own BBQ, this is what I would have done:

DAY BEFORE: Make space in fridge. Make LOTSA space. Finish that 1/2 litre of milk in you have too. Any leftover, feed it to the cats at the void deck. Then go buy your food stuff. Come back and marinate your fresh meat. You don't want to eat bland chicken wings right? Buy ice substitutes too.

NEXT MORNING: Go buy your BBQ equipment. Dunno why people never though of this... BUY MINI BATTERY OPERATED FAN. Why use the paper plate to fan the pit like a gorilla when you can just stand there and let this little $2 gadget do the job for you. You can blow at yourself too. Also its a great help to bring an air circulator... those industry-looking fans. I'm not talk about those giant aircraft propellers that blows like typhoon, in the market there're smaller ones. have them at the pit blowing from behind. No smoke or heat in your face! If ya lucky no sweat too. PS: if your pit is at East Coast... err good luck)

AFTERNOON: Get a minvan, like my Caddy. Dump everything in the back and be on your way to the pit. Set up everything in place, food stuff last. Get some ppl to help too... throw them in the back as well.

EVENING: Now this the different part from all the boring rest.... COOK THE FOOD BEFORE ANY PPL ARRIVES, like 1 hour before the time you told them that it'll start. And cook as much as you can. "But the food will become cold by the time everyone arrives?" If you cooked almost everything, that leaves the pit empty right? warm it up yourself lah! Hawker centre also the same concept what. Some like to cook the stuff themselves or wanna try to so something funny, leave the rest to them. I would recommend to bring other ready food stuff OTHER than bee hoon and fried rice. I don't know, just bring anything other than those. For me, i'd bring BBQ mushrooms, mm! then add cheese... wah! Anyway this is just what i think i'd do for a BBQ session.

Having the car from tomorrow onwards, all the way till the end of Sunday! Yay... but then my bro told me the air con is not getting cold. I was afraid that the A/C compressor is gonna blow... i mean fail. A few hundred for a replacement, yikes. For now think I'll just go for the cheap quick fix, top up the air con gas and erm..... we'll see how. Plus its been weeks or rather MONTHS since it had a car wash. Gawd....

Alright needa go get some rest... this flu thingy is really getting to me. Sigh.

Back!

2006-06-13T20:07:00.000+08:00

Finally made the effort to go to the blogger website and START putting in an entry again. So many times I wanted to add an entry, but I kept giving myself excuses this and that, wonder what's wrong with me. Once again I'm losing my touch I guess. Anyway, I'm gonna try to recap the past weeks events and pen whatever I can remember...

Day before my birthday. The PC Show was going on at Suntec, was suppose to go with Cai to the show, end up he was only able go in the morning then work in the afternoon. I had work in the morning. Later in the afternoon, I met up with a seller of a MP3 player he put up on auction. A couple days earlier I had made up my mind to get a bigger capacity player, 128MB is really not enough. Went on to Yahoo Auctions and came across this compact 512MB player going at a relatively cheap price, got my attention and bidded for it. It was good when i tested it, it was like new, everything in the box was included and intact... until when i tried the radio function. Muffy. Absolutely muffy. Nope its not the earphones or its jack. It could pick up the signals, but the sound was just so muffy. Fuck. Well... at least the MP3 songs sound alright, I told myself. Sigh.

After that I went to PC Show. Most ppl would go to the Show with the intention to buy something. I didn't, I just wanted to check out what's new and hot there. And I threw myself into one of the worst crowd I've ever been. Comparable to CNY and Chinatown and NYE countdowns. 20mins to get from one end of the hall to the other inside. Oh ya I was saying, I was just there to check out what's around... and I ended up getting myself ANOTHER MP3 player... a MP4 player to be exact.

FiPod, I called it(FakeiPod). Similiar in size, 1GB, has FM radio in it and plays video. Wow. Sounds pretty cool eh? Even the iPod Nano itself doesn't have such cool functions. And it's significantly cheaper too. Yes, you can say that I bought it on impulse... I'd like to say it as a birthday present to myself. It really works, plays MP3s, radio is clear, really plays video. No, it doesn't have that circle touch pad thingy, every button pressed produces this loud "tak" sound. Then slowly I begin to the wonders of china-made products... note to self and to all: NEVER buy China electronics. Seriously.

That night out for a late night movie with a friend, watched Slithers. Quite a horrible show actually, but strangely amusing to watch... not to mention kinda gross too. Supposedly to be a horror-cum-comedy movie... typical horror alien invasion plot, out-of-place music and features cast never heard before. Not even one. I like lame stuff, but this is a different kind of lame... the kind that made me feel not worth to watch.

Birthday day itself. As usual, nothing special, no big celebration, gatherings or blahblahblah. Did recieve a number of birthday wishes through SMS. A couple of people actually wanted to meet up with me today... including one who wanted to go suntanning heh... but end up I chose to go shopping with her again today. Met Stef in the evening, but barely 5 mins into it, she had some family emergency. However later she managed to get hold of her dad's BMW and took me for a short ride, had drinks at Coffee Bean before sending me back before midnight. I had a good time that day. :)

Had some big serving of fries at the Cafe at Marriot.

Following that I had classes at the start of the new week. Skipped them. :D Just felt like it somehow... went to Borders to read stuff, a little window shopping in the area before heading home. At my workplace, lotsa changes going on. One of the guys is resigning, then our service manager is tendering his as well. One is gone on vacation to Hong Kong, my senior tech is going to Koh Samui with the Mini Club as support.... which leaves us with really little manpower. A new guy came to help with the part dept and discussion is going on regarding who from the other workshops is coming to here and who's gonna be the new service manager. At the moment, the Mini workshop seems to be the busiest among the others in the Trans Eurokars group, a reason why others are not so willing to come here to work. As for me, I still got much more to learn, yet to bring down an engine myself...

Last Friday went to watch The Omen with... heh yeah same her. Quite an alright suspend film. Had some moments where we both covered our eyes and asked each other what happened lol. Over the weekend sucumbed to a slight fever. This was a time were everyone was falling sick... but thanks to the power of garlic i had discovered and read about recently, I'm recovering fast. Really... taking garlic raw works. Wouldn't recommend taking it just like that... i was crinching my face and slaming my head into my bed after trying to munch down a fresh raw clove. Now I've learnt to chop it onto smaller chunks and mixing it with food. The juice bite is still there, but at least I don't have to jump around my room madly after every spoonful.

The $$$ issue is really getting into me. Late last month I was preped up to go for salsa classes, which in the end was cancelled. Now there's an opening this Saturday, but I couldn't afford it now. Someone's willing to buy this 512MB MP3 player this weekend, but still it ain't enough. Was thinking of selling some stuff to get the $$$, but obviously as you can see, those are desperate thoughts. I always tell myself I have to do this i have to do this... and I always end up not doing it at all. Hmm...

These days having a bad tummy. Wonder whay did I eat? Uh... uh... man I gotta go. *rushes to toilet*

Sei sei sei....... HOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

2006-05-29T22:07:00.000+08:00

Hahaha... if you go to YouTube and do a search on Hard Gay (NO its not what you think), you'll see a couple of vid clips of this jap guy calling himself Razor Ramon aka Hard Gay. It's really hilarious, he goes around japan, doing various crazy stuff like doing social work, helping ppl with their love problems, going to Yahoo office to be in their ad, barging into a famous toy manufacturer and demanding to make a toy out of him.... and not forgetting scaring the wits out of ladies with his hip thrusting. Funny funny! :D

Nothing much going on with me these days.... except that my birthday is THIS COMING SUNDAY! Ahh actually no big deal... as like other years it's usually spent quietly, of course i don't mind a few surprises here and here. *hint hint HINT* No plans as yet really... all i can think of is dinner or lunch or... i don't know really. I'm just gonna look forward to some birthday wishes. :)

Today i skipped classes. :D Simply cuz... my freakin' pay not in yet, ALSO so far what we've been learning are stuff which i had sort learnt before. Besides, no harm skipping once right :p I went out anyway, went to Borders to read up on some magazines, reference books and whatever that caught my eye. After that, I always wondered what's so good about the iPod and since there's the Apple Store upstairs, i decided to take a peek there. After spending only a few minutes with one of the demo sets there, i was surprising impressed. Take the iPod Nano for instance... just millimetres thick, slightly larger than a credit card, has a very user-friendly interface and stores loads of songs... plus it's simple and clean design, no wonder so friggin' trendy. Even Stef sayz she loves her new Nano over her current old Creative Zen Neon. Man if i have the $ i sure wouldn't mind laying my hands on one... but I don't listen to music on the move that much. :s

Speaking of mp3 players... the time has come that i find my current 128MB player isn't enough. Kinda sick of listening to repeated songs... especially when going to and fro classes. Once again i was sourcing at Yahoo auctions... looking for something within budget, has FM radio in it blah.... so far i think i've narrowed down to a few. Hmm.

Ah crap... a few days I wanted to blog cuz i felt like i have so much to write but right now.... hehe all blank blank blank. Wouldn't it be nice to have some device that captures your thought right at that instance? Would certainly help a person with some memory problems like me. :)

Who's fault is it? Huh?

2006-05-16T15:50:00.000+08:00

Just when ya thinking that your life is pretty much alright, you're content with, things seem to be running ok.... when all it take is just one little thing to spoil it all.

Salsa class is cancelled. Was so looking forward to it, and seeing her as well. But no... recently something happened to her and nowadays all i get are short cold answers. I had to even structure my questions properly in order not to cause some unbalance in her probably already moody air around her. It's her private life, I know she doesn't want anyone to intefere. So what does that mean? Can't talk anymore? If ya reading this, I'm sorry.... I really wanna vent it out, no offence. If you can always be there be for others, why can't you let others be there for you?

Hooked and high on milkshakes

2006-05-08T22:16:00.000+08:00

Yes, absolutely. Ever since I brought someone to Macs for a milkshake treat on me, there was no turning back. Chocolate is da flavour to to go, the other 2 sucks like bleehhhh. So cold, so thick, so YUMMY.... oooh can't stand it. So, who's gonna get me another milkshake? :D No one? Doesn't matter... gaa I'll get one myself anyway LOL.

Today I had another slip of the tongue again. I really didn't see this one coming... gosh what a mistake I made. It goes to show that a plain short sentence, can show a lot of meanings in it... especially the way... or rather WAYS it is used. AH well, I'm still learning on how to deal with little and minor setbacks. Alright to be honest, whenever someone tells me off, I tend to get real lost and feel real small about myself. My mind would go blank and... well what worse can it get. Not exactly an easy task for a shy and reserved goon like me to handle such situations, but I'm slowly trying to build composure and confidence... no point sighing all day right? Err... sigh.

Finally some pics to show...

Some shots of the evening sky while on the way back home

A cat on the Caddy.

Bleh

2006-05-07T21:22:00.000+08:00

It's a very uneventful weekend. Apart from meeting a fren for supper in the middle of the night, there isn't much to write or talk about. Elections... gah as if i give a damn about it. Had intended to go outdoors to shoot some pics and check out what my camera can do, but it's either i slept too long or just felt too tired to move my bum out of the house.

Throughout the week, work was alright as well. Nothing dramatically new or exciting to learn. Would really wanna keep my hands busy rather than stroll around like a zombie.

Back at home, mum's complaining about my room. gonna need an entire day if i wanna do up my room. Hmm... someone kick me so that i can start, please.

Signed up for some dance class starting next week. Some might find it weird... Tom? Goes for dancing classes? Huh? What can i say... it's a funny world? Haven't tried something totally new before, let's see how I'll fare.

Bleh.

OoOOoh!

2006-05-04T21:27:00.000+08:00

What a funky looking clock eh? It even has got a thermometer... Oh oh and check this out....

It's got CoLoUrS! It's a so-called mood clock, on the box itself it says that blahblahblah... stress at work can make you go crazy or something like that... this multi-colour glowing clock can help sooth your mind and help you relax... dadada enjoy colour mood clock! The LCD clock is run by 2 tablet size batteries found in calculators, whereas the disco mode lighting effects is powered by 4 AAA sized batteries... or a nokia charger i was told, which was bullshit... After looking at it for a while it does really do something to your mind, not quite sure how to describe, makes you think you're like in a trippy trance-like state.... but that only last for a like minute before you'll start to think that you've got better things to do than this. :D Not bad for a desktop display that cost less than $10. ;)

Today i just receieved that watch I had ordered and talked about in the previous entry.... I was like sooooo so so excited, like a freakin' 10 year-old who just got a huge Transformer toy for no apparent reason. Tore the little paper packaging open and voila!

Nice or not?! Yes of course :) Unbelievable ya know, outside that sells for at $90 whereas I can order the same thing online, at a lower price and comes with FREEEEEE delievery. Ah if only there are other product that I can find that are just like this :D

Off to fiddle with my new toy!

Shopping spree! Arrrhhh!!!

2006-05-02T21:33:00.000+08:00

Oh yes, by now everyone's got their progress $$$. Over the weekend did a bit of shopping... here are just some of the stuff which my insane mind has made me buy....

Recently I have been hearing some of my friends getting into the online shopping trend. I personally never tried doing any online shopping before, had never intended to as well. I always thought that you just can't simply beat the feeling of seeing the actual product itself right in front of your eyes and not from the screen. Then I was introduced to the world of online auctions... eBay and Yahoo Auctions. Gee you really find some cool stuff in there... some rare some interesting... some even downright dumb.... almost anything and everything you can think of. Thwe best part is the price... most of them are offered at way below actual or cost price. Well of course most stuff up there are 2nd hand... but you can still find brand new products which owners had got them for free or whatever and they'll put it up and lower than before prices. Man you can even bargain too. I was looking at watches then saw this particular item.... that has a link to somewhere else, locally, which sells Casio watches online at prices BELOW what the shops outside are selling! Imagine, a brand new model that had recently just came, retails at $90 at the shops, whereas here, they're selling it at only $75.... oh guess what, comes with FREE delivery! OMG... sounds great huh? The watches are genuine according to the website, comes with 1-year warranty and so... loads of positve feedback, not only locally but from overseas buyers as well. Check it out... if ya looking for Casio and Seiko watches, www.timelineNGifts.com. I had just placed an order for one, currently being processed... so we see how it'll go in the coming days. :)

Back to the auctions, I was also looking at digital cameras and... the one i have is pretty urgh now, still works fine but... just wanna find something better. You won't believe when I say that I actually spent 2 days looking through the different cams being auctioned... and then i narrowed down to 2 models. I begin to ask around which is better, did some comparisons... some calculations.... then realised why the hell go for a budget 2MP camera when you can go for a 3MP with not much price difference? And thus I got myself this.....
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Tada! A Nikon Coolpix 3100, slighty over a year old and comes with complete accessories and box... well almost everything, he unknowingly left out the CD software. :S But that really matter, it was only some application to view the downloaded pictures... the overall condition is great!

Backview

Almost everything but the CD software. Bleh.

Then over the weekend I went to Beach Road to just check out the place... then got myself a new LED torch.

It's the black one one the right. The silver one is my current one which i use at work. Notice that the one i bought has only got 1 LED... that *toot*ing packs a bright punch! Actually it's much much brighter than my 10 LED one. *Grin*

Gonna stop here for now... was trying to upload more pics but somehow not working... I'll update again soon. :)

The day i worked late

2006-04-23T22:52:00.000+08:00

It was midweek and the entire day was focused on working on this Phantom. It was schduled for oil servicing and needed to replaced some valve cover gasket. Best part was it was to be done by the next day. The car also needed a reporgramming and update on its computer software.. which takes hours....

The latest I had worked so far was till around 10pm. It's was already 9 plus and the programming had only just start not long ago. Blarghhh....

You know, it's a wonder that this car hoist is able to lift that Phantom. It had stated that it takes a maximum load of 3000kg, but that car weighs about 3200kg.... hmm.

Programming in process.

Just some so-called abstract view from the computer station.

Of course it wasn't just me and Derrick working that night. CJ was installing the JCW kit on a Cooper... in record time of one day. That is provided that he works OT. Another guy stayed on... just to join us in doing OT. He had his fair share of work to be done.

Funny how we're gonna write for the OT claim form.

I did OT last night...

2006-04-20T22:45:00.000+08:00

... till 11.30PM!!! wanted to do some photo blog entry but... really man cannot tahan now. Tomorrow tomorrow... zzzzzzzz *SNNOREEEEE*

iLazy

2006-04-18T23:15:00.000+08:00

So lazy... that ima gonna cut everythin short. have fun reading :D

weekend me sick, first sneezed like mad sat night, couldn't sleep till next morning. watched Who's Line at around 4am felt better after laughing ass off. finally zzz at 6am, woke up at 9, felt worse. no mood to go out, talk or whatever, sat in was bz filling up me phone with junk ware. Me have a thing for.... nvm save this part for another time...

*interrupted by bro... walks past my room and ask me whether the weather is warm today. He was referring to the fan which was on in my room. OK.. so i answered, "Ya it's warm." Guess what he said? "Then why are you wearing a shirt? you think about ah... electricity is not free ok..." (goes back to his room)

Now i don't feel like continuing. Fuck that asswipe. Talks to me in all sorts of sarcastic remarks he could think of. Pissed... i'm fuming inside alright. Sheesh...

More pics :D

2006-04-11T21:21:00.000+08:00

Haha yeah... today another entire day devoted to working on a Rolls Royce... not one but 2. In the morning was replacing some suspension compoments from the first Rolls Royce Phantom that was registered in Singapore... Royal Blue in colour. Then there was a last minute call up to do some pre-delievery check for a out-going car at Sungei Kadut showroom, oooh I tell ya if ya seen the behind of a typical RR Phantom, take a look at this >:D

This particular model has the total entertainment package. Individual seats, total adjustable, just like the ones in front. beneath that centre console lies the control wheel to switch whatever channel you wanna watch, whatever station you wanna hear, whatever scenes you wanna see on the DVD... oh yeah, surround sound all over... INSIDE.

Yep... a LCD screen for each passenger. Front passenger and driver don't get to see anything! Awww.

Also hidden beneath that sleek looking console, cup holders on the bottom, remote pad for easy tv/radio function with little compartment to hide your phone in... and as you can see, wine and liquor glasses and a cold box for the drinks as well.

So much... CLASSSS. LOL.

pics pics pics pics...

2006-04-09T22:27:00.000+08:00

Today i feel like posting up some pics, just a few. So ya... here they are :D

Was at my brother's new house at Clementi today. A 4-roomm unit, sightly smaller than his current one but prime location. School and market nearby... no surprise he still have to top up even after selling his Jurong flat. So far the basic renovation's done.

This is supposedly to be the master bedroom, with the toilet inside... but instead one of the kids will stay here. Cos it's connected to the next room, which is...

... here! It's much more brighter here with full windows. The block has recently went through an upgrade so thus the addition space and the connecting door.

A view of the living room. Nothing much.

This is their kitchen. Pretty neat, going with the white theme.

View from kitchen sink.

Wide view from the living room if you stick your head out.

After that was at IMM for groceries and OMG, a chocolate fountain! *drool*

A sad nerdy kid comfortably trapped in a trolley full of stuff.

The night before was at Borders reading stuff, came across an article on the concept Rolls Royce 2-door sedan. New unveil, but still no news on production.

Obviously shorter, but wow still huge.

They said that this car will be more for the owner himself to drive than Mr Ahmad chauffeuring him around. It's 2-door duh. Seriously, tooting huge interior for a 2-door.

Finally, another lovely evening view from my house.

Rawr rawr rain!

2006-04-06T22:00:00.000+08:00

What's done is done. No point fretting over it as it will lead you to nowhere. Realize what you have done, make a note to yourself and put it behind you. Just move on. You'll never know what will happen next.

Glad to know there are people who think the same way. :) Anyway, it's the seems to be like the raining season these days. For the past few evenings, it has been pouring at around the same time, either a passing shower or a short downpour. Nice and cool. This afternoon I was struggling to keep myself awake after lunch, almost literally swaying myself to and fro while standing... there wasn't much cars to do today, but for me... my work is never done with mopping wet oily puddles, clearing of replaced parts and being called to do the complicated task of plugging the battery booster pack to the accident car for less than a minute while I was in the midst of an assigned work. Did I mentioned that in a month's time, I am to be assessed on Mini repair work? It sounded like they want me to be, from total newbie to near-qualified technician status in record time. This is a challenge.... (scratches head)

Was just browsing through some auction sites and I was thinking to myself, since there is so much junk in my room, there's got to be some $$ worth in them :D Maybe this weekend I'll ransack... or rather rummage through my room to find anything that can bring in some extra $$$. For starters, amplifier speakers anyone? Made in UK ya know. :D

Another pic to end the day... ooooh this one's cool. I got this radical little program for my nokia 6600... yeah I bought a 2nd hand, just liked the design, and this one makes 360 degrees panorama view around! Not of highest quality of course.. but check it out!

Hahahaha... weeeee~

Enlightenment

2006-04-04T20:20:00.000+08:00

This morning I woke up with mixed feelings. Apparently left-over blues from yesterday. I truly have a thing for making the already bad, go worse. It wasn't until much much later, that ahhh... I know why. Anyway, I couldn't believe that she blatantly said she is 10 years my senior. I find that quite mean and it was really a shock. Caught me there real good. The ball was in her court and I was desperately trying to find a solution/exit/whatever.

What the fuck was I doing. (Takes a rifle out and points barrel at self) Someone please shoot me? The trigger's too far and I can't reach it.... (stretches arm)

It seems that there are many things I have yet to know about women. Many many more, as I had learnt from my Sis Stef who I went to meet her after my class. She was intending to study for exams at H.V. So just nice, went to pick her. Yeah... I can't really totally blame myself, but yet I'm sure she has her reasons too. I guess I made one mistake way way too far... Hmm.

Not feeling much of any better after catching up with Stef who we haven't seen each other for months, I called up a random net friend Junee and wow... I see it more clearly now. Mmm... I should move on, but sigh she'll still be in my mind for a while. Haven't seen her in a week and this happens... How I wish I could tell her that I miss her and her cat... Oops.

Apart from this, went to settle some standing issues with someone. If you're reading this, yes I left your beloved phone at your office reception. It's now back safely in your hands, waiting to be traded off again. I could've told your brother that I know where you stay and what bike he rides when he threaten me, but I'm not that of a horrible person by nature. Sad to say goodbye, I wish you the best in everything you do. Take care. :)

Tomorrow is back to the workshop. Derrick my RR boss was away on holiday in Germany for the past week and so other supervisor took over. It seem that he took the responsibility a little too seriously. Even the other senior mechanic agreed with my point. Instead of learning what I'm supposed to be learning which is anything about cars, I was made to do domestic chores. Sweep, mop, arrange stuff, change the pail of water for him while he's applying decals to the car... gosh you name it. Thank goodness Derrick's returning in 2 days time to relief him of his 'stressed-out temp position'. And next week onwards no classes for the next 3 weeks. Should I not tell the boss? Hmm not worth the risk...

And finally, news about the Caddy... good news that is! But first one piece of bad news, my brother had recently got a new job and that would require him to drive to work... looks like he's taking over now. :( On the other hand, since he's bringing back the car to daily driven status, he'll need to get the car back to shape... and that means repairs... and that means he's willing to pay to get the power windows and speedometer working again! And new clutch and brakes too :D Phew.. just when I was about to spend a bomb to slowly start the repair campaign on the Caddy myself. :P

Dunno why but i just felt like it, here's a pic of a ride I created in the old old game Street Legal Redline Racing. Just one of many lol

I know there's something wrong with the upper part of the pic... gah I'm lazy ok.

What's with me???

2006-04-03T15:29:00.000+08:00

In the morning I was at class, happily chatting on MSN and then... I said something real stupid. My emotions had taken the better of me at that moment when i said it. She was cheesed, pissed and obviously apparently, very upset.

Yes, it has happened again. Shot myself in the foot.... this time probably with a bigger gun with the trigger painted bright red and a sign saying, "DON'T PULL".

Why am I like this?! i ask myself. I certainly don't enjoy it, especially the results of it. I never meant to cause so much upset, I don't get a kick out of hurting other peoples' feelings intentionally. But why do i do it? The real answer lies within and, this the great part, I don't even know it myself. Ignorance built inside? An invisible growing sense of selfishness growing within me? Oh gosh.. if only someone or something or whatever can just tell me what the **** is wrong with me. I thought i could just brush this aside, tell myself it's just a setback, a slip of tongue or perhaps mind, don't ever repeat it again.... but no. This is much much much more serious than anything. I feel that i can't really face people anymore just being myself.... if i were to be myself, this is what happens.

Right after the bomb that i dropped onto myself, i was quite dazed. one of my classmates had asked me something and i was like simply... answering in short. The weight of this matter was so heavy that... i just couldn't describe. I had lunch at school... but once i was done eating, I left. I simply can't concentrate on anything else other than the sh*t that came out of me. I thought i had to do something, and i did.... i couldn't let it go just like that and do nothing. That guilty conscious was too strong...

Now I'm at home, wondering was it a good idea to do that in the first place. She replied, still pissed i can sense.

Sigh.

I'm a Dog! (Duh)

2006-03-23T21:58:00.000+08:00

What animal would best suit your personality?

A DOG.

You are one of the best friends that someone could ever ask for. A very loyal, compassionate person who is always there for close friends and family members who are in a tough time. You are someone who can be counted on time and time again and never let small grudges get in the way of a good friendship. But unfortunately, you are very dependant, and every now and then someone will take advantage of your loyalty, and it is most often not until you end up hurt that you realised your foolishness.

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

Keep cool Tom, keep cool

2006-03-20T20:57:00.000+08:00

(Me in the kitchen, cooking some noodles for dinner)

Me: (mixing some ingredients into boiling pot of noodles)
He: (walks into the kitchen) Eh, next time the utilities bills (shows a copy) goes above $150, you pay ok?
Me: (slowly turns to face him but looks at the bill instead)
He: So you can use all you want, ah ok? Anything above $150, you pay. This one month's one is.. (searches for the bill amount on the paper) $158, so you pay $75 ok?
Me: (Continues to at the bill showing no interest, while wiping hands with cloth)
He: Settle ah? (walks back to his room)
Me: (Continues cooking his noodles)

I'm already being very good by not arguing or talking back for so long. It's only just the begining...

I want this i want that... :(

2006-03-19T23:05:00.000+08:00

Ignore the title.. i just really couldn't think of a proper title at all now.

So... what's going on in my life these days? Mmm let's see......

Company Dinner and Dance
Yeah that was held last Saturday at the Grand Hyatt Hotel. Seriously, i'm beginning to feel so darn f**king lucky to be in this company. So established, so rich, so many events! The dress code was smart casual, so i hadda borrow a shirt and pants from my bro... gosh i really need to go shop some clothes for myself. I keeping thinking "i need to get some new clothes, i need to get some new clothes..." then i go somewhere like Bugis Village with that intention in mind, but somehow i end up not buying. Instead got something else in mind... sigh. Anyway, it was my first DnD event so... was pretty much like a wedding dinner, the food and settings... just that there are more activities involving some staff at the tables too. It was alright in end, enjoyed the food, the shows... and woot! scored in the lucky draw... 13th prize: $300 Seiyu shopping voucher. NOW i can go get some proper clothes :D the prizes given out were pretty amazing too... washing machine, plasma tv, more shopping vouchers, handphones with travel vouchers... the top 3 were CASH prizes with travel vouchers, the top being a reward of $2500 cash with $700 travel vouchers. OMG... if i had that $2500... my Caddy's problem would all go away! New working windows, working speedo, new dampers! The Caddy's now rolling quite a lot while making corners... ah its problems are endless at the moment... odd eh, first thing that i'll use the $$$ on is on the car. :p

Mum gone to week long China holiday
yep... left last Sunday, suppose to be back on Monday which is tomrrow. For that entire week... i was like... not at home most of the time hehehe (excluding work). Monday and Tuesday was suppose to be attending school... but i got lazy and decided to skip both days. No harm playing truant once in a while right? As if they're gonna consider that as a break in the contract bond... pui pui won't happen shhhh... touchwood. On Monday spent a nice quiet time at home in the morning, then went out for a walk towards evening. Tuesday was at C's house to see her cat who had recently went under the knife to get nueted. That afternoon went for a swim as well. Rest of the week was either dinner outside of at home resting... but most of the time was hanging with C haha. :p

T for.... Tea!
Yeah... some of you folks may have know me well enough, i'm a person who's easily influenced by what's around me. These days been noticing that some of my work colleagues and friends taking chinese or herbal tea as part of their diet. It is a pretty known fact the tea contains some anti-toxin qualities beneficial to health... and besides i'm kinda getting into the chinese tea taste too haha. So one fine day bought some oolong teas leaves and now having a cup at least once a day. But i heard too that they can do as much harm as they do good. One i heard is that never to consume tea that is left cold already, it'll decrease the size and functionality of some of the male reproductive system. :S Then there's one where my mum told me that tea leaves should not be left soaked too long, it will turn toxic if so. To be on the safe side, i'll heed both advices. :)

Flip phone... bleah.
I am getting sick of this flip phone. So far it's doing really well... can go on MSN anytime, take decent pictures whenever needed... still looks chic too haha. However when it is open... it doesn't really open up 180 flat... so when i'm at work i have to stuff in my pocket like that when i'm on MSN, pretty annoying and worrying at the same time, afraid that i'll snap the phone into 2. So what do i really look for in a handphone? Hmm....
1) Practical design.
Previously i was using my T610 and it was great to have it in my hand at anytime. It's basically just a small rectangular block but i can access all the facing buttons with my thumb alone. As for the flip 7270, the keypad was flat, but too close to each other. Most of the time i was annoyed whenever i wanted to press the clear button but instead got the cancel button and it exits to standby. Plus you have to flip open the phone when you wanna do something. Looks sophisticated and chic, but it gets pretty urrrgh after while... then it becomes troublesome. yeah i've reach that stage.

2) Bluetooooth!
This freaking phone has no bluetooth! pretty irritating when most of your friends' phones have bluetooth, and when you wanna exchange pics of send over stuff... "eh, can infra-red to me?" and then they go, "Huh? so troublesome ah...." I tell you, so paiseh ok! Also whenever i wanna upload any pics that i have taken with the phone, have to infra-red to my old T610, then bluetooth over to my PC. *toot*ing troublesome right?! Gah.

3) Expandable memory
Argh... getting tired already. think i've written too much... anyway with expandable memory plus better phone system interface... i can do so much more. like what you ask? don't ask now cos i can't be bother to answer at this moment... whatever you can think of eh? mmm....

4) Megapixel camera
Actually this is optional. My current one takes pretty alright and decent pics... well at least it's better than my old T610 which is comparable and possibly similar to taking a pic with a 1st gen webcam. Horrible i tell ya.

5) Price $$$
It must be affordable DUH. With my current income how on earth can i fork out $1k to buy something like a Nokia N90 or whatever top end shit? Budget budget.

I do have some models in mind that i wouldn't mind replacing my current one with. Top of my list is the 6600... ya it's old but somehow i like the design and it's got almost everything i'm looking for... plus it is affordable. Yeah... mmm.... Next month? See how...

Alrighty i really need to end now... was only intending to update on myself a bit... but then again sometimes when you start, you just can't stop. Tomorrow my bro's using the car for whatever "work" he's claiming that's urgent... that means public transport to Yishun... argh! Thank goodness the lecturer doesnt mind late comers *grin*

You lose some, you gain some

2006-03-07T22:19:00.000+08:00

Recently someone i knew suddenly disappeared. Nooo... not that kind of kidnapped sort of scenario, basically just "uncontactable". How should one react when faced such a situation? OK first of all, what would be your reaction to someone you know or keep in touch often just suddenly stops contacting you? I suppose you will try to reach that person right? ok... and after a few days realized you don't see that person online. Thoughts will start pouring in on what did you do to that person. Then there are some ppl who are the kind that cannot stand being high and dry with no answers in sight. naturally one would want to know what's going on, why why why and stuff. Then you realized... ok maybe you did pester a bit too much with the sms asking what's going on... but in actual fact it may not seem that much anyway. And then a week passes by, another week goes and still no a word from that person.

How would you react to that? Do you blame yourself, for what you had did that could possibly caused this situation? Or do you start to wonder what's really going on with the other party, especially when it's not the first time that has happened? Only this time it's gone further than before and still... nothing.

Yeah you might have figured it out that that's what i'm facing now (duh). I treat her a great friend to talk to and hang out, and from what i heard from other sources she treats me like a brother. things seems alright until poof... some magic has been perfomed and no replies, no call pick-ups and the obvious fact that i'm on her block list in MSN. Plus somewhat related to this matter, i suspect another person has also added me in their block list. sheesh.

Rather than persuing this situation or matter, i chose to move on. Learnt from the past that thinking and pondering doesnt really help at all, i'm just trying to be optimistic that hopefully i'd hope to hear from them soon.... and in the meantime carry on with my life.

They say there are many other fishies out there in the big big sea. Right now I'm hanging out with one of them :D... and guess what, she has been around much more longer than i've been on this planet. :p

It doesn't take much to screw things up.

2006-02-22T00:09:00.000+08:00

Why is it that, of all the things you have done so far, it that one little thing... which you somehow never thought much about it, that can make so much of a difference.
Why is it so unfair... after all the good you have done, all it takes is one little bad action and that's it. Poof.
Why do i always make the same mistake? Why can't i change myself? Hmm why am i blaming myself... why the hell did i do that?!

(Some thoughts later...)

Why was i so stupid to do that...

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Why is it somehow, that I screw up my own life all the time. :(

Week Wrap

2006-02-19T14:50:00.000+08:00

One word for it: Bleh. Ya lah... for today's entry i'm feeling a bit... 'singaporlean' lah so... do excuse my ya-ya language hor. cos today i feeling DAMN SIAN.

this week ah... some say it's what 'valentine's week' cos v-day was on tuesday. Tuesday? i had classes. After class? go home. ya you heard me right, i went HOME and stayed HOME all the way. No date, no meetups... boring loh! k lah partly cos a little low on $ to splurge on ppl hehe... but i know i'm not the only one lah. others also complained wah no date, so sian, dun go out and stay home... no flowers boohoo.... ah then i asked them out and? they laff at me. "you? small boy lah... heehehhehh :p" bra-di hell. but i kinda used to it so... its more or less nothing lah. just another day.

workplace.. ah things are getting better alreadi. now me getting involved with more work and now they introducing short training sessions on saturdays. STILL... time flies too damn slow... i'm always dying for the clock to reach 5:30pm everyday... and also pray that they don't stay on and do unecessary overtime.

Yesterday afternoon was a bra-di hot day... so was intending to go take a dip in the pool with a fren but skali... clouds came and braaaaagghhh.... thunderstorm. KNN. end up hang out at her place then went to watch movie Final Destination 3... wah lao that show damn power. same plot lah no surprise (duh), but the dying scenes ah... fwahhh... bloody everywhere man. see already how they died damn... fwah. so ppl out there... pls go watch. fuking worth it hahaha... knn man...

then today... another hot day... but no one to go out with. suppose to meet serene but she last minute went to play me out... say her fren stayed at her place till 6am and now she think too tired to go out... please lor u got like 9 hours of sleep at least not enough meh... can sleep at 8am then wake up at 2 or 3pm and go out to meet at 5 what... sigh. this week also ah.. so many ppl played me out... damn tu-lan. cos i usually set time aside to meet frens, especailly those i havent met in a while or who i really wanna meet lah.. then skali last min Oh! cannot... imagine lah... if someone did that to u, how u feel? Serene, if ya reading dun take this too personal hor.. cos i happen to be in a bit foul mood so... a bit moody lah, just want to vent out. i'd still like to meet u sometime next week and help fix up yr laptop. :)

ooook... now got some visitors in my house... to see my dad lah. he recently got into hospital again for the blood thingy and just got home yesterday. then earlier on i just woke up then walked out of the room then the visitors in the living room... and i was half-naked, scratching here and there. paiseh man hahahaahaha... sigh sian...

The Fine Line Between Enough and Too Much

2006-02-08T22:23:00.000+08:00

Yep, that's the reason why i'm here for this entry, today. Take a guess... nah i change my mind, wouldn't wanna go into too much details... cos I, more or less realised that i may have a problem when it comes to stopping before it gets... too much.

I'm sure some of you guys out there who know me, that i sometimes have a problem with the way i express myself. No surprise i suppose... but this particular one, or rather which i just and only just had... brought back some bad memories of my past silly deeds which landed me in so much trouble. When you get too comfortable with what's around you, you tend to lose hold of what you are suppose to stick to and then you'll start to go with your feelings, instincts and so on so forth... somehow you'll do stuff naturally and in some cases, unknowingly to youself that in doing so, for a momentarily instance you become oblivious to the other party's feeling or how they see the situation. You thought what you did was all in good nature and heart, but the other thinks it's too much. By the time you realise your mistake, it mayt have been too late.

Well, actually that would have to depend on the other party too. :p

Yeah... somehow i really really need to learn where to draw the line in such things. To some, it's probably a piece of cake or... built-in even. Whereas slow-pokes like me.... gotta need a little more effort in discovering it... ok maybe ALOT more effort. I guess i still have a lot to learn... Life's an ever-lasting learning journey, I just take a bit more time than usual. :p

Next week is Valentine's Day. OOoOoOoh all the flowers, bouquets, cards, teddies, balloons, whatever you can think of... all of them can only be found in between a man and a woman, aka a couple. And where will you find these couples? Restaurants, movie theatres, parks, secluded car parks, downtown streets... blahblahblahblbhab love is in air yadiyadiyahhh... yeah i'm complaining cos i ain't got a date for that night. :D Actually i was thinking of asking someone... but thanks to my lack of ability to... sigh dun wanna mention it... i screwed this one up on myself, i know. but as of now... maybe it's still a little early to tell... on the other hand i had just asked a favour... oops.

Work these days have been... well ok things are slowly slowly improving. What would really improve the environment around is the installation of more stratigically placed fans. like omg today... i was swapping tires for a car... just 1 car, 4 tires and i was sweating like a pig... geez felt soooo freaking uncomfy. had to take refuge in the air-con rest room like every 15mins or so. Bleh.

mmm guess that's it for now. Been out at night for the past few days and you know... a working person's rest is never enough so.. i'm gonna try get as much anyway haha... zzzz...

I promised Serene that I'll update my blog for her to read :D

2006-02-01T20:37:00.000+08:00

There... i put your name, happy? :D Hahahaha... but thanks for reminding me to update, almost forgot that i actually have some followers here lol :)

Happy Chinese New Year to everyone! Not chinese? I don't care, happy chinese new year! This is the lunar year of the DOG! My year! My year! Though bragging about it doesn't really prove to have any real beneficial gains... still it's the year of the DOG! :p Like last year, not much going on.... no house visiting, stay at home.... blarhhh. Reunion dinner was outside though on the eve, food saarrrckkked. Over the last 3 days made my own night outings, i hadda go out! Watched movies, eat eat eat, late night suppers and catching up friends and.... just realized that i can't really write much today. Really, i think i kinda lost the feel of writing... i was quite used to pouring my sorrows and anger and frustrations for the past year... to actually write something happy that happened to me, like... "Oh you know what i did today???? i cut my nails! so funky! ow, chic!!"

can't believe i wrote that.

Mmm... maybe for this entry i'll just post today's events! ah quite interesting actually.... I woke this morning at the usual time, showered, grabbed my stuff, went down to the coffeeshop to order some wanton mee from the stressed out hawker cos it was the only stall open this morning.... took the bus down to Leng Kee where i work... approached the Mini showroom where i noticed that the gates were still closed shut. ok that's odd. usually there would be someone who will arrive damn early to open the doors but i also found out that there was absolutely no one inside. Hmm... ok something is definately... b4 i could finish that thought, another thought cut in, telling me, "Closed = no work = can go home and SLEEP! SLEEP! ZZZ!!!"
For a split second it sounded quite logical... but i had to ask what was going on. Then the security guard told me that everyone was at the main Porsche showroom building for the new year opening and buffet lunch. WTF no one told me that. Apparently every year, on the 1st working day after the holiday, there will be this lion dance opening thingy followed by buffet lunch.... then work resumes from noon onwards. i was like thinking.. f**k i have to go to THERE??? While i stood there for a minute thinking of what to do... one of the guys from there actually back here to give the guards something and saw and.... surprised look, blahblahblah... and ya a lift to there. Lucky me. here's a pic of the lion dancing thingy... a while before there was a lotta ppl cos EVERY stuff was present.

then came the lunch and OMGOOSH sooo much stuff man! crayfish, sushi, cold salad, black pepper chicken, fish fillet cooked in sweet corn sauce omg i loved that... pastry, that yam dessert with sweet corn ahhhh! so full man! plus there was soo much left over... bet a whole bunch of the office stuff "tah bao" a lotta stuff. Oh and everyone was given an ang pow too... $$$! should've went to his house on the first day...

Then back to the Mini showroom to work. No wait... we had to wait for the big boss to arrive then so the formal chinese welcome thingy before entering via then main door.... but the time when we really get to start work... oh 2pm! W00t! yeah time flew kinda fast... not much idling around so... yeah it was good.

Then after work... went to pay off my bills and sigh... the bloody parking fine that cost me $50 $^&^(@%#^&! ya lah it's my mistake... parking in a lot meant for season holders when somehow he was hiding somewhere. Ok i think i'm done for now... really lah no flow from brain to hands to type! clot clot... anyway here's some umm random pictures :D

Yeah... always see this sparrow up there somewhere in the workshop... good thing he/she doesnt poop. :D

Spidey decides to poke Jerry in da eyes. "Web this!!"

Lol....

If only such titles really exist.... i'd buy it!

Long Live Cold Weather and non-stop rain

2006-01-11T20:31:00.000+08:00

Oh yeah! these days it's been raining horribly well. wet wet wet, freezing bus rides and the need to make hot drinks every 2 hours at home. MmMmMM!

I'm not mad. It's the wet season, embrace it. :D

Not much to write these days, only recently having problems with my MSN Messenger. Turns out it's got to do with their server randomly picking on someone to make their life a little miserable for their pleasure. Kidding. But yes, i believe it's got to do with the server handling the log ins and stuff... things are alright now. :)

Oh yes... I'm now working at Mini! Much nearer to my home, just a 10min bus ride away (with an avg waiting time of 15min... -_-). It's just right beside the Porsche City Showroom... the workshop is even connected. I was looking forward to it.... however i ended up starting to dread going to work everyday. Why you ask? THERE'S NOTHING FOR ME TO DO THERE! I think it's a big mistake to put me there because firstly, its a brand new place and not everything is finalized. Then the staff, all new to the Mini. Also... as the name suggest, the workshop aint that big so according to some decision made, there are only 2 technicians to work there, 1 senior and the other simply just a fat normal lazy-looking technician. there are other more experience ones... but they are in charge of other stuff.

So with everyone and everything moving about and around, trying to adapt, learn or simply have things to settle first... where do i fit? No where. End up right now i'm just doing stupid "sai kang" work, don't even get to touch the cars at all cos these new ppl think i'm a total newb. -_- Well no matter to that... i'm sure in time to come better things will come my way... my ITE traineeship course is finally gonna start soon... heard this year's beginning intake is much more than usual. And i'm the lucky son-of-a-b**** who gets to work on Rolls Royce :D

i miss working at the main Porsche workshop. :|

With the CNY coming..... well actually i've got nothing to write on that LOL... i need new clothes. Problem is... oh well some of you ppl should have guessed it by now, $. This month really can't help it, i blew $200 for repairs on my Caddy, now appealing to my bro to spilt cost. This year, i have plans to change the look of the Caddy. Currently thinking of spraying the rims black but leaving the edge silver. More to come. :p

Haven't been dating anyone these days, everyone's working and again plus the rain.... My eldest bro just lent me this Da Vinci Code novel, but with the movie itself coming out in May... hmmm. Also due to the cold lows of the weather, i've been eating a whole lot! with cravings too... pan-fried scallops, sushi, prata for dinner and increased intake of coffee and tea while at home. getting fat? oh who cares, if it makes me happy it's worth it, HAH. :D

Seasons Greetings

2005-12-25T23:07:00.000+08:00

First of all, merry christmas to you ppl out there. Hectic week for most, last minute shopping, frantically thinking of what to get for ppl... finishing up last minute assignments.. blahblahblahblah... and before you know it, oh the end of the year is coming!

Since the new year is coming, what are my resolutions? Same as last year i suppose, other than hoping to get rich one day, i would wanna get promoted asap... as in get my bloody low pay RAISED! I tell ya living off with such a... mere sum of income per month really kills, and there's no other way than to work my way up... the hard way. Come next year my priority would be mainly work, i'll be attached to Mini for my ITE trainingship thingy. I will gonna miss the working on the Porsches, learnt sooo much during my 3 months stay there... but i'm sure once in a while i'll get to go back there... cos in the long run i'll be doing Rolls Royce... wooOoOo hehehehehe.

The past few months made a couple of new friends... of greater age :p. Why older ppl you might ask... i'll just put it as i wanna try something new haha. So far it's been pretty interesting. :D Hey, i can attract ppl! Oh yeah!

Ok so far what i did... yesterday. (cos i cant remember anything earlier than that lol) Went to meet up a new friend from match.com for a "christmas eve delight feast", a steamboat buffet at katong. omg it was good... plus not noisy, CLEAN and... actually quite affordable! Worth going back there. then after that basically just drove around, coffee and stuff and yeah. all the way till 3am. Wee.

Oh thanks to her, i got a new phone! Well not exactly.... but my T610 was really begining to annoy me with the unresponsive but all important joystick so i really could do with a change for a while.
My beloved T610. I still love this phone ya know!

But now i use.... this!

A used Nokia 7270! Oh who cares if it's got a smudge on the mini display, it still works! like new! and omg i'm using a Nokia again...

I'd like to thank Serene for being so so so generous for finding this phone for me. It sometimes really pays to know someone who works at Nokia :D.

ok i'm getting bored now, off to play some online games! weee!

ok so....

2005-12-17T20:16:00.000+08:00

.... i am back. LOL... bloody stupid eh, going missing for some time and then OoooOh i magically reappear. Just found out that i do actually have some audience reading mah stuff, so with that in mind, mm i might as well GO ON!

starting tomorrow :D

Anyway, here are some pics which i must show off.... my ride in the Rolls Royce Phantom. :D Drool and be envy if you have too hahahaha

yes, me in it.... ME IN IT!

this is a more clear view... yeah! lol

a view of where my training was held...

... the BMW regional training centre in KL.

there :p

came across this when on the return trip.. like wtf? hmm

lol.... ok i'm getting lazy now... took hundreds more but.. like as if i'm gonna post all of them, bleh.

Absence

2005-12-12T22:16:00.000+08:00

... does not neccessary make anything fonder. that's why for now... i dun feel the need to blog these days. Happily flirting with ppl, enjoying the world of mechanic work and... living the life as it is. still i'm having problems managing my $$ :(... nonetheless... i like the way things are going at the moment.

Doesnt mean i'm gonna abandon this blog forever.

I'll will be back.... soon.
:o)

Too Fast Too Much

2005-11-14T23:08:00.000+08:00

URGH last night.... it was sooo unplanned, my natural male instinct landed me in unknown territory and i ended up getting....

DRUNK!!!!!

Hahaha... oh yes, for the fuckin' first time, i experienced first hand how it was like to feel so shitty that you dun wanna do anything but just lay down on wherever you are. Be it outside, in the middle of the dancefloor or just right beside the toilet bowl. Now looking back at it, hahaha i just can't help but to laugh at myself.

It was around 9pm on that Sunday night. Typically no plans are made at this time, it's usually the "cooling" down period prior to another working week, where you either hang out somewhere nearby to chat with mates or stay home and chill. I was watching tv as usual when i got this sms from this much older online fren, asking me whether i wanna go join her at the Devil's Bar. pretty unexpected, but i had to sort of turn it down... Bar = Drinking = Spend $$$ = Stay out late = Not a good idea when the next day is working Monday. But here's the interesting part... it's her best gal friend's birthday and she's a member of that Devil's Bar and all drinks on her. When i mentioned that i gotta leave early, she mentioned she won't hold me back.

Here's a stupid moment. I got changed and drove there. Wow. Oh and another thing... i never met her before. Interesting! While driving, my mind was going like... "I'm a guy, i can handle this... :D" ah.. the bullshit that i talk to myself...

Anyway when i got there, met her, went up to the bar to meet her gal friend who self-proclaims that she's "very sociable". Man her actions proved a lot. Almost immediately we started drinking, blahblahblah, got to know each other, dadada... then their guy pal came, the little group got interesting.... to mention the details leading up to how i wasted is a little embarrassing, i ended up puking the shit out of my stomache in the toilet. the next few minutes i felt like really unsteady, my mind still knows whats going on but... the rest of myself haha... very un-cooperative. I pretty much know by then that after downing 2 glasses of beer, 2 glasses of something mixed with Chivas and a Long Island Tea in one hour... is the cause of my wasted state. Ok... so i know that i am definately not a drink... yet. despite the fact that i told them many times that i was DRIVING... well i think that's a useless attempt when trying to get your words into the ears of a high flying birthday girl... or worman. Anyway... that online mate of mine got a little too worried i guess, took me outside and had a little chat session to ourselves... quite surprised that i stll could hold a conversation :S then she told me to head home since i looked not too good (god damn body of mine), got me a cab and offered to pay for the fare. Yes, i felt truly wasted... in fact i felt fucking sick.... why do ppl drink so much anyway and end up puking like a water spout, geez. This that puking feeling suppose to be something good or nice or addictive? BUT that's still not gonna stop me from visiting clubs or bars :D

about an hour after reaching home, i was feeling much better, i usually recover pretty fast from such erm, "events".... and it was like 3am. then i started to think of my car... decided to pick it up early in the morning and drive to work. Most ppl would suffer hang overs and other shitty stuff, i felt like nothing happened when i woke up for breakfast. Apart from the obvious lack of sleep... hehe ah well what a night.

wouldn't mind doing this again....but NOT when there's work the next day.

Oh! i feel like blogging today!

2005-11-10T21:35:00.000+08:00

the usual practise while going on dates is that.... guys would, no doubt, be the more likely one to bear the bill on a dinner. Can be many reasons why... to impress, feeling damn generous or really feels that his date is reeeeally worth paying for.

But what if.... let say you can across this individual... who you only knew for about a week online, finds you interesting and..... says dinner is on her on the very first meet up? Oh and would love to meet up with again soon? Nope, no physical interections involved.

Am i considered lucky? :D

and that's not all... another new online friend... similiar dinner's on her, plus introducing to cool places for coffee and chat?

seriously... am i that charming? mmmmm :D

opps! lack of update huh....

2005-11-09T23:26:00.000+08:00

yeah... life has been going quite welll.... yeah.. mmm..... now it's like got so much to type but.... feels like TOO much to type lol. dun worry, i'll be back. :o)

Weekends are too good to miss

2005-10-30T22:13:00.000+08:00

That's why i always stay up on saturday nights till almost dawn... either outdoors with friends or at home on the computer. There are also good tv programs on the cable channels, as i am totally hooked onto them. This weekend was special, i got pay! Man, did some shopping on myself and i think overdid it a little. got the car back to shape and finally i can start the slow transformation from a stock rolling turtleback auto to a more or less, visually appealing machine... inside out.

With the weekend done, i'm gonna have an early night.... what more can i ask for a good long sleep b4 waking up fresh for another week of work. Well hopefully it goes that way.

Shivering-g-g-g

2005-10-27T22:46:00.001+08:00

was done meeting up with a new fren and was going home when an absolute heavy downpour came. the bus stop was just across the road, so why not just dash across? a 5 sec exposure to rain won't make much of a difference....

well i was wrong.

the whole front side of my shirt was wet, hair drenched and shoes soaked. Oh and that's not all... the bus that i boarded.... had the air-con set to HIGH. for wat fuck reason i do not know. All i know and remember while i was in there, 5 mins after sitting down the air around got to me... hard. every movement made was simply COLD... even my nipples touching the shirt drives me nuts. for 30 full minutes, i endured the mind-numbing coldness, endless shivering and the resisted the intense urge to PEE... the worst was when i was about to get off at my stop. Nothing but teeth chattering and tummy shivering. took a hot shower immediately upon setting foot into the house.

right now i'm enjoying a nice hot cup of milo.

A Happy Birthday to someone... who used to be special

2005-10-24T00:13:00.000+08:00

No prizes for guessing who. It is ironic to blog right at this hour... but on this very day 5 years ago... i did the boldest thing that i could think during that time. And from then on i went thru an incredible journey with this wonderful person, a journey full of ups and downs, thrills ans distress... thick and thin whatever you can think of... it was the start of the best times of my life.

Of course, when you mention that it was the best, it's definately hard to let it go.

Today, months after it was over... i re-live those special moments that i can still recall inside me. How i wish i could share them out here, but i'd like to keep it personal.

Never before has this happened to me.. while i'm thinking of what i had went through with you during those times... tears run down from my eyes....

...and down past my smiling lips.

Happy 20th Birthday Laura.

Ya-di-ya-di-yah

2005-10-16T21:48:00.000+08:00

Today sports a rainy day. More of a downpour actually, heard that many areas got flooded. However, the weather was nice and cold... too bad i didnt make use of it to sleep. Celebrated my mum's lunar calendar birthday with lunch at this high class vegetarian resturant... and right now i'm having this really bad tummy ache that has been bugging me since afternoon. I suspect some bad food, though i can't pinpoint what. Sigh.

The week has been alright, started of observing how a pre-delivery inspection on a Rolls-Royce Phantom is done and was awed by its sophisticated computer system inside. Clean classic look on the outside, high tech equipment on the inside. Towards the end of the week, was helping out on prep-ing participants' cars for the charity drive, did some serious overtime till evening on saturday.

So far things are going quite alright at the time being, the only problem is somehow my $ got a lil too low... i do still need work managing my finance.

Mmm... not much words for today's entry, eh?

An... Outburst

2005-10-09T22:19:00.000+08:00

there has always been such a big gap between my entries recently... pre-occupied with work and answering my curiousity with cable tv.... the thought of actually blogging just doesnt really occur to me much as it used to. Whenever i blog, it's usually after something, an event or incident had happened. And usually it's not always happy. Usually this is a place where i pour my thoughts out... when others are not there for me.
Yeah, you can say, based on what i had just said, my life has pretty much been ok. As usual, i still learn new stuff each day... now i can change tires and do a oil change just like the rest of the guys there. Got some events coming, some cleaning up to do so the past week did overtime throughout... took the car most of the time. Yesterday wanted to go skating, couldn't find anyone to tag along with me... but i was fine going alone... until it rained in the afternoon, then my back began to feel a little stiff and my bro wanted to use the car. I just stayed at home and napped through till the sun went down. today went out to town, been a while since i walked around there. did a little shopping on my own and stuff. Being out alone is sometimes good...

... but i miss being out with ppl as well.

I really, really dun understand why... almost everyone i sms, no one replies! no kidding. that really pulled me down a lot, making me wonder why.... why? aside from myself, i just can't think of any other reasons. busy? you could at least send a reply, even if its a few hours late. but no! nothing at all. it... it just pisses me off. i just so feel like i wanna.... move off to somewhere else and start a new social life... but keep a few close ones with me. i know i messed up (big time) when it comes to TRYING to so-called "keeping in touch with ppl".... all i feel now is frustration. Pure let-down.

And to make matters worse (for myself), i was just reading someone's blog... i had intend to send flowers to her one day.... as a little (and probably queer) surprise, apparently someone else beat me to it. Why did i hesitate? Why...?! argh dammit, will that guy make the move and put an end to my misery? She is happy and i'm happy for her... but i'm also dying to make my own life a little better for myself too... dun understand? dun bother.

wow... i don't know about how others see this, but i'm already feeling a lil better already. For me it does help to let out whatever's bothering the crap inside me, to anyone who's willing to put up with me (which as of now, no one except stef... you are the ONE :D) or even here... where no one actually reads this blog! No shit... other than the occasional one or 2 who would randomly click on my blog when it appears on the most recently updated blog list once i'm done with my entry... even when i actually put my blog address right beside my MSN name which i believe is so darn very visible (and as of now, i'm doing it so)... it just has this strange invisible repelling force that will cause your mind to say,"Hey, this blog is not worth reading it blahblahblah..." Then why the freakendale do i blog in the first place, cause 1) i wanna write out what i feeeel. and 2) i want it to be KNOWN, so that you can critize it in any way, let me know, via comments, email, bitchin' or carefully but aggresively texted sms or msn message.... so that i can have FEEDBACK so that i can see who i really am to you people...

For now, i'm just gonna wait to watch Who's Line on tv later, sleep and look forward to another week at work.

It's not that i'm changing. I am just living as what i believe is my true self.

Once you get it started, it's hard to stop

2005-09-25T22:47:00.000+08:00

A couple days ago, i did something somewhat silly. I was reading her blog and well, she hasn't been updating it for sometime... so checked out some of her friends' blog. i happened to came across her childhood friend's blog and what i read there just got me... started. In his blog, he wrote about his best friend finally being in love again. as i read on i was wondering... could it be her?

Thoughts started to pour in.

Then i don't know what came over me, i emailed him, curious to find out who is that girl he was referring to.

What the fuck was i doing.

Actually that's nothing the only weird thing that happened ever since.

That night i had actually dreamt about her. Usually i hardly ever have dreams that were influenced by previous events... i think this one is erm... hmm. The next day at work, thoughts about what i had read kept popping up 60% of the time. So far since the day i started work my thoughts haven't stray from anyway out of my workplace. Argh it's like a nightmare coming back.

So far in life, i've learnt not to trust peoples' words. they can always tell you one thing, but really they're either doing something else or they're just trying to get you to stop bugging them. Actually i also practising this... it does has its uses though. Yes, everyone is entitled to have their own privacy, honesty may hurt... but at least it can put a stop to something. I'm not pointing out at someone... just that... hmm...

Ah enough of this, it's making me run out of thing to write.

WORK. oh yes... i'm still loving it. currently i'm helping out to remove parts off a 993 model to access the camshaft cover of the engine. Removing is easy, putting it all back is another thing. Looking forward to another week at work!

Yesterday took the car to a workshop near my workplace recommended by my collegue. They tried to repair the broken window mechnism part but cant, but they could order a new set for about $220.... far lower than from the VW workshop which quoted around $400 for just a window. unfortunately my brother couldn't afford to pay fro repairs as yet, next month most probably. I did get the door fixed, that set me back for about $45. dammit, i thought this month i could actually for the first time get to save some money.... looks like i'm gonna go dry a bit sooner than i thought.

mm thats it for today. Work work work, please keep me occupied all day long....

a little update

2005-09-23T22:56:00.000+08:00

if only there is such a device that can record your thought instantaneously, wherever and whenever... and all those updated automatically into blogs....

nowadays i hardly have much free time to blog, most of the time other than work, i surf and update myself a little on the net or watch tv. by the time i'm done, i'm already all tired up ready to sleep. Work's great, getting to learn new stuff everyday. It's a really great way to keep myself occupied, a day's a pretty straightforward. Wake up, go to work, come home, dinner/tv/net, sleep. No longer is my mind wandering about everything around me, cos i've my passion right in front of me. :)

But of course sometimes.... thoughts do come back. I still missing having fun with a certain someone, even thought i pretty much lost a lot of my old character. At least i'm glad that she's doing what she likes and maybe she's enjoying some new company, i can never know (cos she never reveals any). Meeting up now is something that can happen through chance, most likely when least expected.

Now that i'm into this line of work, i really begin to wonder how am i gonna meet someone new? I know i can never get enough of my hands-on work on cars, but whenever i see couples outside having fun... it just all comes back. Makes me really wanna re-live that happy and carefree teenage love life.

For now, i'll just live to not knowing what's ahead of me. I can hope and pray all i want, nothing's gonna happen till the day when something really happens.

I like my job

2005-09-13T22:58:00.000+08:00

Oh yes i do! working with tools, getting hands on.... oh oh and getting test rides, like today i got to sit in the Porsche 911 Turbo! OMG the acceleration is like ROCKET power, the first time i experience i was like wondering when is it gonna stop! After that, i just kept loving it and loving it and loving it....

Not only am i passionate about cars. My love for speed has just been born.

But... the 8-5 job is a real total change to my usual lifestyle. I've been sleeping rather early these days, due to the lack of an afternoon nap. Well, doesn't matter, i'm sure i'll get used to it in time.

Oh and here's the ride that i sat in. A hour later the owner came to pick up his car and left. :D

Man, it was like a dream come true.

Back... stiff!

2005-09-10T23:03:00.000+08:00

Urgh... had this stiff back since yesterday. I wonder what caused it, it's so uncomfortable! kinda brings my mood down :( Plus recently been having some difficulty in getting some good sleep. I always seem to wake up much earlier than usual and it's almost impossible to go back to sleep! sucks sucks sucks...

Well let's put that aside, cos i finally got my PAY! After WEEKS of waiting, i finally recieved my much needed money... but bloody hell, of all days they had to send it so that i get in on a friday. by the time i deposit my cheques i can only get the money from monday afternoon onwards... cunning bastards. Ah, doesn't matter, as long as i get my money, i'm happy.

Oh yes, yesterday was my first day of work at Porsche... actually to tell ya the truth, it didn't really start off as i thought i'd have expected. because i don't have any experience in mechinics, i couldn't really do much or be as much help either. All i could do was look and observe helplessly at the other guys doing their work. Although i was told to try and mix around a little, these guys... well they aren't really the socialable type, plus they're busy doing their own work, i had a hard time trying to so-called mix in. I felt so out of place as much as they see me. At least there was this assistant workshop manager who is more of the outgoing and friendly type, gave me some simple stuff to do once in a while and gave me a quick tour around the compound. Didn't know that somewhere in the compound houses the big boss's collection of cars and bikes, plus 3 Rolls Royce hidden from view. The only best thing about that day was the test ride in the Porsche Cayenne... man that car was big, powerful and smooth! although it was the base model, it already was packed full of gadgets and other electronic stuff... including a GPS navigation system! I never thought i'd ride in a Porsche... but that ride reassured me that i think i made the right choice to work in this line. :D

Today unfortunately was another umm... waste of time to make my presence there... that nice was on leave so i was pretty left alone almost the entire time. BUT nevermind, i still look forward to better days.

Feeling pretty restless, moody and the back... making me feel uncomfortable most of the time, just really didn't really feel like doing anything. Grrr... :S

Yay, re-connected!

2005-09-07T18:01:00.000+08:00

Once again i MUST thank Stef for helping me out.. again. You rule. You're queen. I shall bow to you whenever we meet.

Kidding.

ANYWAY.... the past weeks without the internet had been wah... t-e-r-r-i-b-l-e. It's like going cold turkey, drug addict without drugs... or something like that. The only source of entertainment was TV... once in a while i would do some cleaning in my room, read past issue magazines, play real old sckool pc games... waste my sms on Sharon... CAN DIE AH. Fortunately, on the last day of my work, i actually picked up someone's credit card and ez-link card with some $30 value in it, saved me a lot on transport. :) As for the credit card, i actually just dumped it somewhere else, haven't figured out how to use it without getting caught so for now, it's pretty useless to me.

As of now, i have just used up ALL of the ez-link card value... so it's back to square one. :(

BUT! my bumming days are gonna be over! No i didn't strike lottery, neither have i received my fucking PAY yet.... i'm gonna start work soon! Oh yes... from 9th September onwards, i'll be working at Tran Eurokars as an Apprentice Technician! oh yeah! To which department, i'm not sure... either Rolls Royce or Porsche, i dunno. Doesn't matter, i'm finally able to work with cars! pay isn't so pleasing to hear though, $800 a month (b4 CPF, fuck)... i'm still working on minimum wage.. but at least i'm getting $$$. Wee!

Mmm... got so much to write but... i got better things to do first hee.... lotsa updating to be done man.... finally, i'm seeing some light in my life!

Internet Down Time

2005-08-30T10:53:00.000+08:00

As you may have noticed (or if there's anyone out there reading this at all), I haven't been online for a few days straight. That's becos... MY LINE GOT SUSPENDED! Apparently my dear Stef did not settle the whole outstanding amount... and my line got cut all becos of the outstanding $18. Damn.

Well it's already been a few days... almost a week since i've gone "internet-less", man it's tough. Really dying to get back online and continue with my geek-like lifestyle. Oh btw, i'm right now in the library of SIM, Stef told me that the internet usage here is FREE, plus no one checks... weee.

Yesterday just served out my last day of work, yeah i resigned early cos of, well many reasons. Firstly, I needed the $ fast, if i were to continue on till the 4th, my pay ain't gonna come till around the 2nd week of the month. That's way too long. Another thing is i was planning to get another temp job at the coming COMEX Show at Suntec, but i think i'm already a little too late for that. Then i came across the the ad from Cafe Galerie that there're looking for ppl again. Since i had previously applied for that job and actually got in, I tried my luck to see if they're willing to take me back in. Yet to hear from them now.

On my last day of work, i had only realised that resigning early may have been a mistake, until.... Eurokars Centre, distributor agent for Saab and Porsche, called to inform me that i've got an interview this Wednesday.

Woohoo!

Yeah... guess i still have a little luck left on me. This time i HOPE that i'll clinch this job, settle any outstanding bills and debts, get some stable income and finally... be able to chase girls again. :D

Enough for today, can't stay here for long, gonna meet Sharon for SUBWAY lunch later on... mmmm can't wait to get hands-on on a PORSCHE ahahhaha. ;)

Nothing to do at work... and at home

2005-08-23T23:03:00.000+08:00

I'm not sure whether to say that my current job is... good? slackin'? productive? haha what am i talking about. At work, i do nothing most of the time on weeksdays, it kills so much that I'd rather watch paint dry. At home, i do nothing else but routinely go on the net to shoot up some ships in Contiumm, go to i-am-bored.com to view the daily crap, clear my email of the unusual increase in junk mail, browse through interesting stuff and videos to download and if i'm lucky, get to do some $1 online surveys. With my current Zero-$ status, i'm pretty much stuck at home, can only afford to keep on a strict limited travel of to and from work.

Actually, I kinda like going on the lookout for cheap stuff. I'm not saying that i'm becoming another typical KS Singaporean... actually living on the cheap is kinda cool. You get to come up of ways to cook up so-called great tasting food with items that cost less than 5 bucks in total... that can last for days. When you're totally clueless with what to do with 7 hours of free time and stuck at a game booth... but with lotsa pamplets and leaflets lying around somewhere nearby, mindless origami magic. Of course life would definately be more better if there's $ in hand, but think of the $ you could save just by getting around things. yeah... that was pure 2 minutes of absurd talk there.

Today was my off day, finally some time to sleep and feel my BED... unfortunately my partner has been transferred to the info counter and this fragile and petite looking who looks like a 19 year old but is actually 28 chinese girl in coming over to accompany me. I don't seem to be able to click with this not only visually but also interllectually boring WOMAN... i might need to buy a new puzzle book soon. I like my previous partner, she always complain so much about her kids and her husband... never ceases to amaze me with her stories. Oh and we love to make fun of other ppl too.. especially the kids hahahaha... ah well no more of these with this overly-conservative nerd.

Mmm today i also recieved a call from Adecco, a erm... job recruiting company or whatever... telling me that there's an offer to help set up the up-coming new attraction by the famous Cirque Du Soleil. Was thinking of ditching this current one and go for that... i can make slightly more $$ if i jump and i can get my $ quicker. Just gonna wait for them to get back to me... which brings me back to Porsche. Ah hell, i don't think they're gonna call me anytime SOON... perhaps they'll call me out in the blue months later. OoOoh and Stef, my saviour, also texted me about job opportunities at Borders, where she's now currently working at as a temp. Darn, i should've gone to Borders instead, I can walk to that NYDC and give them the finger for ditching me just like that.

OK time to end. :D

Going red in the face

2005-08-19T22:59:00.000+08:00

In last post, i mentioned that what i would like to set as a goal for now is to own a car.

yeah, that still stands. :oD

But before that, when i do have enough money one day... the first thing that i wanna use it for....

... is to get treatment for my skin problems. :(

Before i had entered the army, i really never had much problems with my body, other than getting fevers ocassionally... my skin was alright, went through the period of pimples and yeah. But ever since i entered the army, all of a sudden my skin was triggered into erupting rashes and pimple-like spots on my back. I thought maybe cos of the addition stress i was going that kinda triggered it off, and so i didn't take much attention to it as i thought that it would just go away once i got posted out... i also didn't complain that it was bothering me too. However, due to my lack of pyhsical fitness, i was made to go thru BMT the 2nd time round. This time i approached the National Skin Centre for help, and then i was told that i had Eczema. At that point of time the rashes weren't serious enough to grant me a downgrade, and as i continued to struggle to pass out, my condition had worsen.

By the time i was posted to Tengah, it got real bad. My back had spots all over and i had frequent itchings all over. I was given some medication to sort of reduce the effects of the itching and dry skin, but it didn't really help. I dunno why but the thought of making another Skin Centre appointment didn't really crossed my mind then. Beside, ppl who tried to downgrade or "geng" would be treated harshly, i didn't had much of a choice but to keep silent.

Right now 2 months after i left army, the complexion on my back is more or less smooth again... but a new problem surfaced.... and of all regions on my body, it has to be the face. Right now i'm experiening dry and flaky facial complexion, showing red blemishes all the time. And somehow now, the flaky thingy has started to spread to my neck. It's really embaressing to meet ppl like this.... but i couldn't find a way to make it go down or go away. I just feel like i really have no "face" to meet ppl. :o(

Hopefully once i'm done settling debts, that i would have enough to seek treatment for this. Dammit... i really can't live with this for the rest of my life!

The urge to BLOG

2005-08-18T21:31:00.000+08:00

Just came home, checked out some blogs... now have the urge to do some of my own. It's one of those mindless thinking lah... that spontaneous motivation to talk crap and bullshit.

Was reading Laura's blog, her topic on life... looking at mine, just realized that wah, mine is so sad man. Shall NOT go into details on mine, but am going on to other aspects. Ppl do go into depression somewhere in their lives. It's something which, i believe, you just can't help but to go thru it... especially if ya alone. You can't keep it inside you forever, you let it out... and it comes in many many forms. Sarcasm, frustation, bad temper, unsual behaviour, etc... When one is in such state, do you think he/she can think straight? do you think their minds can just snap out of it and look life on the bright side, just like that, in an instance? If you are those who can, congrats. I'm sure mediacorp would love to hire you.

my point in this is that... you can't live or go thru such times alone. naturally one would seek some company, who hopefully can take their minds away from such misery. Unfortunately, many give up after just giving advice. They'll go like, "if you keep up like this, then there's nothing i can do already"
Does that turn you off? Just by looking at that sentence alone... do you think that's encouraging? does that sentence actually helps at all?
I've been thru all these... seen many of such faces. To me, using that is like a threat. 'you dun do something, i go'. personally, i don't like to ditch ppl like that. Yes, one should always try to look on the bright side, and one should learn to be independant.... but i don't think one is really capable of telling when is someone on the brink of a total breakdown or just trying to gain pity or attention. actions speaks louder than words. If you all could just a little more... it might just be enough to turn things around.

Ok enough blabber, have no idea what i just blurted out cos it all came straight from the inside. On to other things....

Mmm... work is alright so far, cos it's still the weekdays. Most of the time i get really bored to death... just sitting around, doing nothing... watch ppl walk past... ARGH. thank goodness i bought a word finder mag, it really does help to past time, but not always. Today's really quite a killer, my partner is on off and i was alone.... those 7 hours seem really much longer than before man! if she was around, at least can have a chat once in a while... but today, wahhhh almost couldnt take it. to make matters worse, i didn't really get enough sleep the night before, thanks to Sharon who friggin' insisted that i help her d/l some song... just one song, and wait till she get home from work and chat online. Makes me wonder, why am i a fuckin' sucker for girls? dammit....

Now onto another topic from out of the blue, i'm really beginning to dislike the VW Caddy. It's fuckin' falling apart! a few days ago my bro told me that the passenger window got faulty and now it can't be used... and i thought that the wacky speedo and malfunctioned rev meter was the end. You know, actually i had plans to sort of redo that Caddy, was inspired to do something to it after watching some episodes of MTV's Pimp My Ride.... but that faulty window was the last straw. Now $$$ has to be spent JUST to keep that Caddy together and runnin'... fuck lah! Wanna ditch this shit and get a good 2nd hand, one that may be older but STILL TOGETHER IN 1 PIECE. My goal for the time being is to get myself my own car, yep. This one's pretty much confirmed. :)

Ahh ok lah enough already.... Oh I must thank Stefanii for helping me settle the outstanding cable bill first... Stef you're my GODDESS, will do anything for you in the future! hope she can help me pay first asap before they send me a lawyer letter or cut the line, really don't want any of my family members to know about this... as for my hp... and it can't be help. at least when they suspend the line, i can still recieve calls and sms... why the fish porsche haven't call me?! bloody biatch! argh!

Anyone got $120 to spare? :S

2005-08-17T09:46:00.000+08:00

Sigh... sucks to be out of $. My internet cable line is gonna be suspended after the 19th... cos I CAN'T PAY THE OUTSTANDING BILL... yet. I can only pay AFTER the i'm done with my 3 week sting as a "temporary promoter"... which ends on the 4th Sep, but after adding some processing time.... I'll only get to receieve the cheque most likely on the 2nd week of Sep. This really sucks! Been trying to think of ways to save my line cos really... sounds sad but my life kinda depends on the internet... No internet, no music downloads, no video downloads, no games to play and past time, no way to keep in touch with ppl.... No LIFE!

One i was think was to quit my temp job halfway thru. in that way i can get my grossly deducted pay at the very end or begining of the month.... but i'll need to work at least 2 weeks to earn JUST enough to settle my bills and back my some $ to frens... then i'm broke again. Nah, not worth it.

Another way: Go around begging ppl for $. mmmmm.... no way. Some already were kind enough to loan me some to survive, can't really ask for more. Asking mum is totally out of the question. Asking brother who will eventually tell mum is also out... Sigh.

Last resort: rob or kidnap someone.

Nah, not really capable of that.

So i guess i'm out of options really. Just have to live without the internet for at least 3 weeks... bah. Phone line might soon get the cut too.... that one not so bad. BUT if both are cut, OMG. End of the World. Dammit, why hasnt Porsche called?!

Oh wait, i might still be able to go online once in a while, borrow someone's library password and use the net services there.... oh my god i'm so cheap.

Ah, going to work real soon, weekdays are good.... and absolute waste of time. spend 7 hours sitting, staring, yawning... and get paid. 4 out of the 6 days of work i get to do that. :)

i need $$$$! Bad! :(

Down with... fever :(

2005-08-14T21:46:00.000+08:00

Sigh... right now feeling very "warm", got stuffed up nose and i'm feeling just terrible. This morning when i woke up, i was already having the sniffles.... then when i reached my workplace, i was beginning to feel heaty. You should know what's next. The next 7 hours i was like.... s-u-f-f-e-r-i-n-g.... and that's not all. today being a SUNDAY, my gosh all the kids.... argh! today my arms were given a real good workout, ranging from kids who can't hold anything for shitz... and fat ones who.... god knows what their parents stuff into their kids these days.

I'm beat. Legs aching, arms... well still alright for now.... and whole body burning up. No, i'm not gonna take leave tomorrow, seriously i can't afford to. Anyway tomorrow's a monday, i'm sure there ain't much of a crowd.. at all. Pop in some panadols and take lotsa water... i should be fine... i hope. *sniff*

A kiddy day at work

2005-08-12T22:44:00.000+08:00

My first day of work. Was almost late man. Took the bus and reached there just nice. I expected more ppl but i was um... wrong. It seems that i'm the only GUY among the temp staff and a much needed one. Me and another malay female (thankful not from the interview day) were assigned to man the "Safari Jump" game booth. It's basically a mini flying-fox, the height no taller than my knee and the distance not much more than my height. Well, it's meant for kids so.. :S

For the next 3 weeks, this is what i will be doing. Just man this game booth. Seriously i don't know what to say.

The next few hours were like... freakin' slow! Not many took the "ride", in fact i can tell ya the total figure for the number of kids who came was below 30. LOL. Can't compare this with the other game booth which is obviously a star attraction; the bungy jump... however it's still somewhat more exciting than the other one... that involves throwing some balls into honeypots. bleah.

At the end of the day, we were both so glad and relieved. What i'm worried most is the coming weekend. The fuckin' mall is gonna be flooded with kids with all this disney thingy going on here. ahhhhhhh.

Oh ya this partner of mine... she's 20 and.... she has 2 kids, a 2 yr old daughter and another 4 month old daughter too. amazing huh! unfortunately she's struggling to cope with supporting a family and stuff... and well her character is not bad, makes me think twice about malays haha.

Oh boy i'm soo tired right now.... and this is what my roster's like: 12pm to 8 pm everyday, off on every tuesday. i dunno whether to go hooray or wtf. hmm.

Oh oh and i almost forgot.... i was like so bloody excited over this for the entire day.... this morning before i left for work, the ITE Industry Officer called me (yeah, omg huh) and told me that the PORSCHE co. may wanna take me in! Yes, you fuckin' heard me right, P-O-R-S-C-H-E, Germany's sports marque.... OMG! He also told me that he gave my number to them and they'll call me anytime soon. I really didn't expect this... especially the fact that the officer actually managed and bothered to help me look up for other car companies. Porsche... FUCK MAN! I'l do anything for them if i do get the job! Next time people ask what's your work, "I'm a car technician... in Porsche' Wah shiok sia!

Hope they call me soon! *glees with estasy*

Tired sia.... got new work!

2005-08-11T22:24:00.000+08:00

Ah yesh... since nydc didn't need my service when they are supposedly low on crew members, screw them. Yesterday i saw this ad on the classifieds in the morning... looked rather interesting, a 3 week temp job. At first i couldnt be bothered (for no apparent reason) and later in the afternoon i had wanted to take a nap. I took another look at the ad and i just gave them a call anyway. Turns out the jobscope was just tending some redemption counter and some kids game stalls... and was told to come down for an interview IMMEDIATELY. Wah no kiddin' man, so i got myself changed and headed to United Square where the job location is at.

Reached there, saw a couple of malay girls who were there too for the interview. *WARNING - RACIST ALERT* When i saw them, my thoughts were like, "urgh". Filled up the form and waited for my turn.

Then i was called in, hahaha basically once again BS a lotta crap, just exaggerating about my previous temp job and army vocation. my dog handler status kinda provoked her interest. :D

After some real CHIT-CHATTING, she told, on the spot, "I confirm you, right now. You're in."

Victory is mine.

"I'll give you a call tomorrow on what time to come... and I WILL call you tomorrow.."

I feel like a champion already.

Before heading out of the door, i just couldn't help but to look at them with a big bloody grin. Hope i don't happen to work with any of them.

Today, i went to be some outdoor variety production extra cast, last night Laura called to ask whether i wanna earn 30 bucks. Of course i jumped right in. She's in it too with her work collegue. Location was somewhere in Lim Chu Kang, at someone's vege farm garden. Friggin' warm and face was... not reacting to well to the hot surroundings. But it was interesting, an insight to how outdoor shoot are done.

Now i await that much needed $30 cheque to be mailed to me. :)

Oh and tomorrow i'm gonna start WORK. Frankly, i don't really know why i wanted this... i'll be dealing with ppl and mingling with kids... not my greatest triads. Well, at times like these, earn approx. 700 bucks in 3 weeks, why not. Besides, I NEED TO SETTLE MY FUCKIN' OUTSTANDING BILLS. And get my licence done. 3 weeks man, what's after that, later then say. Now i'm just so soososo tired, for the first time in weeks, i might just actually sleep early. MMmmmMMmMm...

YO CheCk +h1$ out!

2005-08-06T23:07:00.000+08:00

h0w D0 j00 @lL f1nD THi5 EH? PRETtY C00L? I'D $@Y, +HI$ 15 Pret+Y PhUN 4C+U4LLy... Lo0K 4T 4lL MY wORdS, 5o phuLL oPH ch4R@C+ER, $o 'IN+3rNE+', 50 LE3t! bUt... 1+ B3CoME5 4 5ORE EyE 4PHt3R 4 Wh1Le 50 0k i'LL $T0P... H4Ha...

4nyw4y... Wh4+ tEh phucK... ok back to normal, anyway, fuckin' hell! it's been days since that orientation training at NYDC and i have still not heard from them on when i can start work! Well I'm freakin' giving them another 15 hours before i call them up and ask them what the phucK is going on. With my bills reaching an all time high of over 200 bucks and OVERDUED... you can say that i'm pretty FRIGGIN' DESPERATE. Ah well i prolly derserve the service cut, who asked me to bum around sooo much. Yeah, it ain't worth it, i'm stupid and i'm always broke, what's new. Been searching around to earn $$ in anyway possible, including online surveys! Recently i just got paid US$1 for a survey i did back somewhere in June! But i somehow messed up the payment methods :( soo.... let's just hope they'll send a reminder message or something... hey it's friggin' money, right? and it actually works, wow....

Over the past few days i came up with stuff to put in my blog, the bloody rising cost in public transport, ways of coming up with cheap cooking, the satisfaction you get after releasing your poo.... but just now i just got hit by a virus in my computer. Oh, it's not just a simple spyware... this little fucker actually replicated itself and started spreading all over in my main system drive. So much so that it made my anti-virus program sounding it's alarm every 20 seconds, changed my blank desktop wallpaper to this, "You've got Virus!" or something like that and my firewall... what the fuck, where did my firewall program go?! Well, of course i panicked a bit, it's the bloody first i experienced such a big virus attack, and in real time too.... so what choice so i have but to clean up the mess. ran my anti-virus program but it was busy choking up with these virus alert pop-ups. Tried deleting them, an obviously futile attempt cos they are constantly being used by the system... and then it froze. How nice. *Presses the restart button*

*reboot*....

*Windows logs into the desktop and virus alert pop-ups starts to flood the screen*
..........

So... i restarted the computer in safe mode and ran all my arsenal of spyware, adware and virus cleaning programs and detected a whole load of trogan stuff all over the place. Wow, this shit works fast.

After spending about an hour cleaning, was watching Black Beauty on tv while waiting (such a touching story *sniff*), i restarted the system, thinking that it should be more or less clean by now. EZ work, job well done!

*CAUTION: A virus has been detected*

Whoops, spoke too soon.

That got me feeling a little fed up, and somehow a bit helpless too. So i went online to get some help on the forum pages. Then i noticed that help doesnt come immediately, i ain't gonna wait till i turn mouldy before they start to just look into my problem. instead, i browsed through some of the other entries of other ppl's problem and got a basic idea of what to do and what's next is too long and detail for a lazy pig like me to explain and after another hour or so waiting waiting waiting for the cleaning process to end... and VOILA! No more virus... clean, flushed and all single-handedly! yes i'm da man! I'M DA MAN! (rant all you want, it's my friggin' blog, i can talk like a gorilla all i want, BLEAH!)

Well, after going through all that "ooh-so-hair-raising-experience", it's goes to show that you gotta have good software protection in your computer at all times(although i can't figure out why my firewall program went poof without notice). I know of many friends of mine who occasionly cursed and swear at their computers when they get hit by slow performance or virus attacks, and these ppl (ususally the females :D, oh yes, just admit it) hardly pay much attention to protecting their computers, let alone updating any software inside. Well since i'm into this topic, i might as well be a nice fat pig to give you some pointers and tips to safe-guarding
your beloved or cursed computer.

1)Always have an anti-virus, firewall and spyware detector/removal programs in your system.
No doubts, without these, you are a goner. Common sense lah! I'm sure you should know why you should have these, can't be bother to explain either.. go figure out yourself if you still have no idea why. For anti-virus i recommend avast! Home Edition. It's got this pretty cool alert sound when a virus is detected and does a great job at detecting too... as you can tell from my experience. For firewall, i choose Sygate Personal Firewall. It checks on every internet movement made from and to your computer and it allows you to choose what programs to allow net access as well. I would say this one's for the more advanced users, but it's pretty good i'd say. For spyware/adware, i use Spybot - Search and Destroy and Ad-aware SE Personal Edition. These work great in unison and they can effectively detect, remove and prevent future spywares from getting into yr computer. Besides, most tech-savvy guys recommend them too.

2)Run and update your software regularly.
Just like you, these programs need to keep up with the trend. In in a more technical term, keeping up with the ever-growing virus world. You get the idea, right?

3)Partitioning your hard drives.
Why? Cos i said so. No really actually, partitioning allows you to create different drives in your computer, so that you can oraganise your stuff. But that's not really my main point. You see, for me i partition in such a way that my system and other frequently accessed programs are install in one drive, my downloads in another and other mambo jambo in my other hard drives. So in an event if a virus hits and does some real bad shit, at least my downloaded stuff are relatively safe; i can always reinstall my Windows system without touching the other stuff. Wee! Get it? No? too bad then.

4)Clean your computer.
And i mean literally cleaning the dust and and black stuff off from the inside of the computer casing. One of the reasons why if your computer seems to be crashing all the time is that it's prolly overheating; dust accumulates heat and thus yeah... girls, this is an opportunity to call your guys to come over to your house and impress your parents lol.

5)If you are at a lost, call me
Hahahaha.... :D

Well that's it for today... fucking hell, what a long entry eh! Hungry... MmMmm....

Possible... "vacation" period

2005-08-04T02:37:00.000+08:00

Just a while ago, a fellow net friend had informed me that her internet a/c got disconnected due to a 2 month unpaid and overdue bill. I fear that the same is about to happen to me... real soon. So... in case any of you peeps begin to wonder why I haven't been online for a lengthly period, i.e. not once during the whole day, you should know. But don't worry, i'll be working to pay off whatever debts lay before me and before you know it, I'll be back. Maybe not bigger and stronger but... mm...ermm... ah I be back. :) In the meantime, while i can, i'm gonna download as much junk as i can... Bleah! :oD

Time to FINALLY WORK FOR $$$

2005-08-03T12:26:00.000+08:00

Ah yesh, after more than a month of life-wasting idling and running dry on most occassions, i'm finally gonna start working pretty soon. I was suppose to blog last night, but i was dreprived of sleep the whole of yesterday. Early in the morning i had to go to that Army driving centre all the way at Kaki Bukit just to collect my *ahem* "Certificate Of Competency To D-D-Drive" Oh yeah, another step closer to getting that much desired Driving Licence that i have been waiting for YEARS. Once i've got that $50 to pay for the stupid photo card and wait for about week after... WOOT! Because i was trying to save $ as much as i can, i took e bus all the way home. A bus to Bedok then the straight bus back home, a 1 and a 1/2 hour of butt numbing ride. Reminds me of the days where i used to take long bus ride... just for fun.
Oh and i got a new haircut. And it sucks. The barber sucks actually. I told him specifically how i wanted my hair to be cut and he gave me this this... urgh. Well at least i can still gel it up and look up to date.
Then it was orientation training at the N.Y.D.C Heeren outlet. saw many different kinds of the chosen one, but all had one thing in common: all had experience in the F&B line. No wonder. As i was saying, different kind of ppl... there was this sissy looking one which i believe has issues with his/her gender, there this one which looked as if he had recently left a notorious street gang or loan shark co., there's this mixed malay who looked like he's way over himself... then there's this skinny guy who after quite some time i realized that he was actually a girl... a skinny indian who looked like who has just completed secondary school but is actually of the same age as me... this one who looked like a butch but is a nice person actually (had previously worked in Haagen-Dazs too), and finally 4 little young teen girls who are friends... 2 looked alright, the other 2 looked like shit. Oh then there's this late comer too... nothing special about him. That's probably the special thing about him.
SO basically we were taught about the menu, the food and drinks, the cutlery and dishes and cups used... how the order is taken.. blah blah blah... and some sampling of the food. God i loved the mushrooms they used. Must.. have... mm. For the Wheellock outlet, only four of us will go there, the kid looking indian, the perfectly normal guy and the "butch-looking" one (she's just too nice to be insulted in anyway lol), but she's only there temp, she was suppose to go to the Suntec outlet. Today they're suppose to call me about the schedule, hope i can work asap wee.
Then when i came home, i was already feeling sleepy... straight after dinner i fell asleep from 8pm onwards... had actually set the alarm to wake me up at 11pm but... i ignored and woke up at 2am instead. found out that i've got a zillion msn messages on my screen, some going," eh where are you?","you dead?", "wtf why are you not responding?!","you b*tch, you made me waste my precious time on waiting for you!!!"

nah, i was just kidding, those messages were bullshit lol.

Since i woke up in the middle of the night and obviously found no way to go back to sleep... i thought i could do some online surfing and gaming when... my internet connection got fucked. I dunno what happened, but it was like last time where the connection kept dropping and i got real pissed. I went back to sleep, tossed and turned till the daybreak. Swtiched on the computer and motherfucker still the same state. ARGH!!!! So.... i decided to try and burn my cds... having already wasted like 15 over partially burnt and useless cds is not an encouraging thought... tried to make the best of them by sticking them all over my wall, acting like "light reflectors"... anyway i had posted on the forum for help on this... and after much trial and error, finally got to burn a COMPLETE one... at a miserable speed. the crashing still happens sometimes... but at least i can clear some space on my space-strapped hard disk. And just now by some means, my internet connection went back to normal. STOP PLAYING GAMES WITH ME, YOU STUPID METAL CASE OF SHIT! *Kicks the computer casing*

Nice weather out there today, just rained and it's cool now.... i'm just gonna stay at home and try da do more backup of my stuff... weee

If I had the money....

2005-07-27T16:04:00.000+08:00

I would finish paying the installments for the car and turn it into this:

... and I'll be driving the fastest van in town! Hahaha!

smile

2005-07-27T00:44:00.000+08:00

Why am i smiling? Hmm... what could possibly make me smile just like that? I opened up my mailbox just this evening and i saw a letter with my name on it. Upon tearing up the envelope like a crazy kid opening up a christmas present, i unfolded the content, a piece of paper... and this is what i saw...

click on the pic to enlarge

Yes! YES! AWWW YEAH!!!! Finally it's here! It is actually... APPROVED! *Jump jump* OMG... even with those suspiciously huge milage figures in a single day... they still actually approved my application! The funny thing is... a couple days ago, i was like wondering hmm... when is the letter gonna come... it's like i had a feeling that it was gonna come anytime, so everyday without fail i would open up the letter box to check... and VOILA! I'm happy! Oh so happy! HAPPY HAPPY!!!!! Finally i can drive the Caddy anywhere i wanna... AND IN PEACE! *outstretches both arms into the air and shaking head*

The beautiful first sentence which blew my mind into pure, ultimate, unadulterated estasy.

On the drawback... mmm we'll come to that later.

Another good news for today, for moi. I've finally got a job, at N.Y.D.C Wheellock Place. Well more or less... i mean, if i was told to attend a training session next Tuesday, shows that i'm accepted, right? so yeah... when i mentioned to the interviewer that i had experience in the F&B industry and that i'm totally free and flexible to work anytime during the 2nd half of the year, that probably got me in already. I was even asked which department i prefer to work in, floor or kitchen. wow such luxury. I simply told her that i can manage both, kitchen sound more challenging to me (all bullshit just to impress her). Briefing on working conditions, attire, operations time, all done in real brief... and before i knew it, "so i'll see you on next tues for the training session at the Heeren outlet?"
Oh yeah. :D 5 bucks per hour, same as Haagen-Dazs while i was there back then... pretty alright with me. Oh hell i was in desperate need of getting a job asap, and after serveral friggin' attempts at other placees which failed... i thank GOD for this one.

While i was wating at that resturant, i happened to brfriended some other applicants too. At first, the 2 guys looked as if they had been close friends or known each other for some time... the ironic truth is, they actually came to just know each other a few minutes before i came in. O_o One of them was applying for the supervisor position, this guy called Jonathan. He was sporting a really cool mohawwk haircut, partially dyed bright gold in colour. And he's pretty umm... gayish. The other one, a NYP student who goes by the name of Taufik Basti... nah just kidding :D, just Taufik, applying for part time crew. He's pretty funny, making fun of John most of the time lol. After we were done with the interview, we hung out at the nearby Mac for a drink and chatted for a while before heading out to our seperate ways. Well... never expected all these, but hey... it was pretty cool. :)

Mmm.. with a job in hand and my driver's licence within reach... sounds like things are finally turning for the better huh? Mmmm... not quite. As you might have guessed it, it's got to do with $$$ and there is indeeed a problem settling the service cost.... got some personal problems which i don't wanna disclose... and that resulted in leaving me flat broke. And i mean really. Flat. Broke. I don't even have any $ to take a bus now! And for some personal reasons i can't borrow from mum... so i'm appealing to anyone.... please help me out? Please?? this is a really and real desperate situation here. i hate being cursed with poor finacial capability :(

Help me out, please!!!!

Monday

2005-07-25T23:44:00.000+08:00

*exhale*

Today saw some really huge downpour all over town... twice. First was while was taking a bus to Suntec, got stuck at a bus stop for a while. The next one was while coming home, and one was real major... freaking huge! But... to me it was kinda cool. Yeah heavy rains does bring out a lot of inconveniences, however i feel that such rain calms me down somehow. The sound of rain droplets falling from the sky and hitting whatever on their way down just deafens any negative thoughts inside me. Weird huh? And the sight of the mistified and fogged surroundings gives me the sensation of calmness, you can't really see clearly what's far out ahead and the soft and blurred images... yeah all rubbish to you, but means something to me.

Ah yes, about the VW Caddy... it's finally running again! yep, yesterday my bro to try and jump start the car using his fren's car.... at first it didn't really work. the electrics were working, but when it came to cranking up the engine, the start just barely moved. even when the battery was connected to the other car's battery all the while, the starter refused to moved than just a tiny bit. We thought that it could be the starter that's having the problem, then that would require a tow truck which $$$ urgh.... but we decided to try the change the battery first, it could be faulty. SO we drove to Autobacs, a huge automotive and accessories store and got hold of a car battery... costing a cool $100. like omg... then drove back to the Caddy and changed the batteries... and voila! IT WORKED!

Next step... since the battery's changed, might as well get the engine oil changed as well. Also the air filter... and along the way, get the loose timing belt checked as it was unusually loose. SO... brought the car back to the shop and took up an oil change package... another $90 plus a dignosis(?) on the engine and vital parts around the car too. about half hour later, this is the report:

Brake pads are left with half it's original size
filter's is in need of a change (duh)
tension pulley rusting (urgh)
starter motor is loose from it's mounting, with 2 mounting bolts missing(?!)

my bro and i were surprised when the mechanic started to move the starter motor back and forth and then showing us the missing mounting bolts. we were like "HUh?!" then my bro recalled having the timing belt changed before.... but that was 3 years ago. perhaps the last mechanic who did the job forgot the screw on the final 2 bolts in place. wtf. and came to think of it, no wonder that starter motor seems to be viberating quite a bit. Just that... never noticed that it was actually loose from it's mounting.... and because of that... it was actually unsafe to drive the car like that.

my bro and i have been driving that car for like nearly 3 years... with that loose thingy. like omg.

So, that left us with no choice but to leave the car there at the workshop and have the car fixed... meanwhile my bro gave me $250 in case when the car's ready, i will be the one collecting the vehicle and settling the service charged.

And this just in...... the total bill amounted to $838.

*faint*

my bro asked me to ask to borrow from mum $ to settle the bill first... but i know that she's already having a hard time with $, obviously that was a big problem. then later my bro smsed me saying that he can onyl settle half the amount... if not don't collect the car. I was like... "huh.... sigh"

that was about half hour ago... and i'm still feeling ... sucky about it. it always have to be the $ problem. I'm sure you ppl would agree that without $, you're almost hopeless to survive in this country. $800 to change the timing belt system?! sounds like a bloody rip off.... i've heard about mehanics here who are very unscupulous(?) and dishonest most of the time when comes to telling customers the problems with their vehicles. over-quoting repair or replacement parts costs and doing shoddy work... god, why of all things i have to have automobiles my passion... sigh

*grabs a bottle of Finlandia Vodka and a shot glass and shuffles to the living room...*

The Caddy lives again! But...

2005-07-25T01:41:00.000+08:00

... i'm too tired and sleepy to do an entry now. Next day :D Zzzz....

Just another day

2005-07-20T02:06:00.000+08:00

Yep... the it's been pouring real heavy these past 2 days, perfect weather for Zzzzz... other than that, nothing eventful going on... other than what's always going inside me.. mmm anyway...

came across these pretty interesting book covers, here's a few for show...

All these are from The Wonderful World of Longmire

Like the sound of that?

2005-07-18T15:21:00.000+08:00

Just recently learnt how to add some music to my lifeless and totally ignored blog. Cool huh? Next would probably be replacing the title image.... only when i feel like it. :D

A War Within Me

2005-07-17T04:20:00.000+08:00

It's getting intolerable. It's getting far too annoying. It's just too much.

But, it's been like this for a while. Nothing has improved. Something's definately missing.

It's right in front of me. It's actually within grasp. Somehow, something else is holding me back....

No, this isn't some surprise lame shit.

I'm talking about my life.

I don't want pity. I just want to be like everyone, leading a normal, sociable life. I am jealous of each and everyone of you.

But sometimes, your own mind just gets in your way. This invisible barrier, it's from within. Seriously, i confess. I am darn embaressed that i can't even break away from what i created within myself.

What does it take to be free?

This is how bored i am

2005-07-15T00:33:00.000+08:00

Recently, i've been playing this old school game, Grand Theft Auto 2 (it's free for download from the internet) and with the wonders of cheats... i spent about an hour or so on the game one day. This is the result:

I think i can run down a couple hundreds more. :D

Oh! I'm still alive!

2005-07-14T02:20:00.000+08:00

Ah yesh... after days and weeks of blogging absence, i'm finally back here writing something again. The days between this entry and the last, i was still pretty much slacking like a useless goofball, hoping to come across that almost perfect job that will fit me seamlessly. Also along the way, i was getting to know some new ppl... yes, they are GIRLS. I really wonder this man, why am i only going after the female species? I myself kinda wonder that too... mmm, for one thing, i just feel more or less comfortable when talking to one. No wait... ah geez really, i have no idea. i am only comfortable to those who i know better or have know for a while. It's not that i'm searching for another gf, really. In fact actually at this moment in life, i'm not really interesting to getting to know anyone. i just kinda feel that... i'll go click with some new ppl after i get into a job. Weird me eh? In the past, i was a bit of a "flirt", so maybe that has sort of grown into me. Hmm. Although i do welcome anyone who approaches me (in fact, i should be glad if anyone actually does so), i do tend to get a little fussy when it comes to choosing who i wanna click with for a long period of time. As of now, i don't really have a "best friend", the last one gave up on me. It's sad that he doesnt know that i've already gotten over it more or less, it's his fault that we ain't in contact anymore.
Sigh.. just when i thought that after ORD, i got everything planned just nice... then the course has to be cancelled. Now i'm deciding whether to find a full time job or part time. Full time and i'll have to delay or possible deviate totaly from my intended future career. part time, still have a chance to enter the whole of mechanic work asap but till then, $$ will be low. I'm confused man. You know what, i blame the complex society we have here. Life would have been more simpler without all the ... ah you know what's around us.

Argh! *pulls hair*

2005-07-01T17:28:00.000+08:00

You are dependable, popular, and observant.
Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness.
In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do.

You are unique, creative, and expressive.
You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while.
And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

The World's Shortest Personality Test

AH screw blogging for this period

2005-06-26T23:20:00.000+08:00

yeah... cos i'm pretty content with life these days... care-free, relax, no stress, own-time-own-target... strange but true. Yeah i'm still missing someone, but nowadays i've been adapting this "i don't care" kinda attitude... it doesn't matter what people think or say about me. I am who i am, i was born to be shy, soft-spoken, "stupid" and slow... that's the real me! In fact, i should be fortunate to had someone who actually loved me for who i am (actually i think it was more of the humour and creativity side of me, well i'm that too lol), so to those people who think that no one looks up to me or whatever crap... be it that way. as long as i'm comfortable with what i have, nothing matters.

i think.

Mmm... not today

2005-06-26T00:07:00.000+08:00

Wanted to put in an entry today but... i'm really sleepy and tired. This is what happens when your biological clock always wakes you up at 8:30 in the morning no matter what time you sleep and you didn't take an afternoon snooze. Oh well, tomorrow then. Zzz...

cbjkrfy23ghl3gy3gnklgrhg

2005-06-23T00:18:00.000+08:00

Ignore the title. For today, some answer were finally answered. According to the industry officer who finally called me, right now there aren't enough ppl to start the course and would be "not cost effective" to start. They're just short of 5 more ppl. Interested in automotive technology? PLS JOIN. NOW. He said that they're just gonna wait till end of the week then they'll decide what to do, either i have wait till next Jan which is like OMFG... or start anyway which I VERY HOPE SO. He also told me that he may be able to help find another company where i can work first... prolly bullshit just to make me happy.

On the other hand, i also called the Hyundai company and he said to wait till end of the month then the decision would be made. Abiding to company policy he can't take me in now... so i'm free much like.... still waiting for news. At least i know what's going on... now i think find some part time.

Oh yes, the NSman posting. Really man, why on earth would THE Air Force post someone living on the west side to a camp which is at the far east of the island? That's probably some classified information, but still, this shows that this military govt. is very very.... fucked up. After making some calls, i was told to send a copy of the letter back to my base for them to verify it and send me a new In-camp training form thingy for next year. Initial i was really really shocked, thought it was the idea of the black mofos at dog platoon... and well i was mistaken... and the thought of not seeing Noby and Antis ever is... very upsetting. You know me, once i'm comfortable or used to something, i don't really wanna deviate from it. Man, even thought i have already done with army, they still had to bother me. WHY AH?! right now i've calmed down a lot... at least i'm just going there for 3 weeks once a year... not all bad right? hey maybe they'll assign me as the driver only :)

Again i planted my bum at home today, so nothing fantastic or fabulous to talk about. Watched the movie Mr & Mrs Smith which i d/led recently, hahaha it's a pretty funny show! Like the way Brad kicked Angelina repeated in one scene and he gets punched in the nuts and falls lol. Oh ya, i was mistaken about the launch of that Initial D movie, opens TOMORROW... but i've got no one to watch with so... most prolly it's another bum-at-home time.

btw just had a whiskey drink, boy actually i think it sucks... wonder why the hell did i buy a bottle in the first place. bleah. this is just a personal thought.

Finally... well actually i've got nothing to write anymore lol... my net access is still slow.... got me really frustrated during various times of the day. Ciao!

A brief entry for the day

2005-06-21T23:55:00.000+08:00

mailbox got tampered, again
still unable to reach that bloody industry officer
no suitable p/t job in the papers
receieved this letter that i'm posted to CHANGI for reservist >:(
jumpy internet connection
arcade with friend
internet connection dead slow at night
unable to reach friend on the phone
still pretty baffled, surprised and upset... not to mention pissed about the posting

What a day huh. I'm just so tired and sleepy right now, hence the brief events. Plus the net connection throughout the day was jumpy and now dead slow, which really puts me off. when i'm a better mood i'll explain about this... bloody new posting i recieved. Sigh. Zzz...

Leave me alone!

2005-06-21T02:24:00.000+08:00

Sigh... even though i've already left the army, somehow the ppl are still buggin' me. This time it's about the damage to the dog van and to cut the long story real short, i don't wanna my future reservist days to be in hell and so therefore i'm forking out 50 damn bucks in "contribution" to the cost of the repairs. Just like dogs, when they mark you, they'll probably mark you for life. this applies to the HARD-HEADED, ARROGANT AND SHAMELESSLY PROUD INDIAN boss. I heard he even made up stories to the guys in camp about me. *shakes head*

Yes, this morning i tried to contact the bloody industry officer in charge, but somehow i think he was on leave or something cos i tried call him like a gazillion times this morning and no answer. Ended up i got the service operator to leave an email message to him. Will continue try to bombard his phone line again tomorrow.

Other than that, today i just stay entirely at home, doing some full-time bumming in front of my computer. Oh and the movie Initial D i believe opens today, wonder should i go watch with the guys or with stef... or watch twice :D Mmm... i think i'm gonna continue bumming at home tomorrow. Some PLEASE... yell, shout, scream, roar, f**k whatever... tell me to do something else. lol

What's new?

2005-06-20T02:03:00.000+08:00

Mmm.... nothing much i guess. Past few days haven't seen much of anything happening, except over the weekend went to meet a new friend, a "rebel" haha... interesting character. Btw we watched Batman Begins on that day, a bloody 2 hours and 20mins film but whoa, it's a pretty damn good movie i'd say.

I'm beginning to worry about the traineeship course, still so far no word from them. i know i was suppose to call them a fews earlier, it kept going in my to-do list. Maybe i should try to paste a big note up on the ceiling directly above my bed so when i wake up in the morning, ta-da. About the job search, i kinda need to have the traineeship course started before i can find a flexible part-time as i intend to do it on a long-term basis. $ getting real low + time runnning out = not good.

this afternoon went to the Raffles Town Club for lunch, Father's Day thingy. Man i lurve the international buffet stuff there, and they had *slurp* smoked salmon!!! i think i eat about $20 worth of it, or maybe more... every trip i made to the buffet table, i just gotta have some salmon on my plate. Lunch was indeed wonderful. :)

Mmm more on a personal note now, i'm beginnning to interact more with people, planned to meet up with a few friends over the week and stuff... but it's been quite a while since i talk or hang out with 'her'. Is this suppose to be good? Wonder what's she been up to, other than busy with her new 'business thingy' she's been working on with her poly friends. Still, she runs through my mind everyday, without fail. Wonder what does it take for me to see things in a different perspective... you know, like trying to look things on the bright side stuff? Hmm.

Oh yes, a storm brews in the midst of the night outside right now, all over a sudden i think of the times when i was on duty with my dog and it was raining heavily... and i would be under the little shelther and my dog close beside me... now i kinda miss Antis and Noby. :(

Baby Nicole does a magic trick

2005-06-16T09:56:00.000+08:00

Now you see her face...

... now you don't!

Boo!

BORING!!!!!

2005-06-16T09:40:00.000+08:00

So far... time has gone really really slow. gues what, till now I STILL HAVEN'T GOT BACK MY DAMN PINK IC! All because the CO wasn't around. tried getting to him the past 2 times but he was only available in the afternoon... which i didn't wanna stay till so long. Later i'm going there at around noon, that motherf**ker better be around.

At the same time, i still haven't found a job and i still haven't heard about when's the start of the course. It was claimed on the result saying that someone from ITE will give me a call soon... it's been almost a week now. Should i call them? hmmm...

Not that i wanna aim at someone, but i was supposed to have lunch with someone sometime this week. First, she said she had to put it off to the next day coz she had to cook for her bro... then later that night tells me that she's broke and can only do lunch when she's got the $. I mean, this is so crap. she's been bumming and slacking for like what 3 months, not finding work coz she's "too Lazy" and just when i thought we could catch up on lunch, she goes broke. Whether her reasons are genuine or not, to me this is total crap. No $ to do lunch? why don't you tell me EARLIER? It's either you save up for that or politely tell the person IN ADVANCED that you can't make it. I hate being stucked up. Grr.

Last evening i did some minor mod to my computer casing, drilled some vent holes in the front for the fans to breathe in better. Now the inside temperature has gone down by 2 degrees! However the system still hangs with i'm doing games sometimes, and it's really bugging me quite a me. Plus the burner's a little fucked, i dunno why but i just can't burn stuff, that bloody blue screens keeps popping up and i've already wasted like 5 blank discs all because of this. $#%*!$!&$!!!!!

Now, wonder what i'm gonna do later in the afternoon? Ask someone out? go walk around? or go home? This whole week has gone reeeally really slow... as what was written on someone's MSN Messenger, "Life's boring now... i need a surprise.. a pleasant one..." LOL... but true indeed.

2005-06-13T01:35:00.000+08:00

Jaws anyone?