helpless
As of now, i'm feeling really really tired and sleepy... but i don't wanna go onto the bed yet, or maybe don't intend to. duty was alright, slept pretty alright despite it was the concrete floor i was sleeping on. next morning found out that my bowl of instant noodle was eaten by someone else last night, those bastards.... but they paid me back so it's alright. didn't take any pics of any dogs today cos i was still tired at that time... however while getting out of camp i came across this white female cat... she often out from nowhere wanders into our barrack these days. and this was what i saw...
Just outside the door and there she is... lying there, looking around....
... then she started flipping, stretching and turning here and there...
... and finally she ended in this position. for a brief period she was actually sleeping like that. *doink*
Oh, early... and i mean like 2am early, stef smsed me her blog address. wierd timing... got home and checked it out. was wondering what's with her "is a happy girl..." nick, told me to check out her blog few days ago. well, turned out to be the opposite. now i have no idea whether she's still with him or not... from the entries i read, doesn't seem so... wait, actually come to think of it... her entries somehow somewhat reflects on me. and this kinda instinctive thought that just risen in my head, that laurz should read this. gah i don't know... i quote this from her blog:
"Once I remembered someone saying this. A person can LOVE with ALL his heart for only ONE person in his lifetime. Let¡¦s say¡K a person feels that this is the greatest love of all. The person he loves is the most wonderful thing that ever happened to him. She is the true love. She is his everything. She completes him. However, fate has it that they cannot be together, no matter what. Even after many years down the road, will he be able to experience that same love ever again with another? She can be everything he ever wanted, she can be the most sensitive, most understanding, most thoughtful, and even the most beautiful he had ever met. Just that she isn¡¦t the same person as his first true love. Will his love for her be as much as before? Or is he just settling down for the sake of¡K maybe age catching up and just want anybody to keep him company? Or would he rather give it all up and be alone for the rest of his life? It¡¦s very much daunting for me to just think about it. Tears welling up in the corner of my eyes."
unquote(erp, what am i doing...)
that gave me a lot of thoughts about myself. i really wonder, how would i move on from all this? sigh... i also read lauz blog and... her last entry almost brought tears to my eyes. well actually it did... it was all in chinese but i still manage to understand most of the words. to think all along since after we broke up she was leading a great outside life of freedom.... i really can't bear to see her like that now. hurts me bad that she's not being her cheery self and worse, i can't do much about it. my heart says that i should attend to her, but my mind tells me that doing so will only made things worse for myself and maybe her too. it's been months since i last spoke to her or even smsed her.... mmm wait did sent her a funny mms a few days ago... just did that for fun.... no not really... sigh. gah, it's all coming back to me... what should i do? what should i do....
Just outside the door and there she is... lying there, looking around....
... then she started flipping, stretching and turning here and there...
... and finally she ended in this position. for a brief period she was actually sleeping like that. *doink*
Oh, early... and i mean like 2am early, stef smsed me her blog address. wierd timing... got home and checked it out. was wondering what's with her "is a happy girl..." nick, told me to check out her blog few days ago. well, turned out to be the opposite. now i have no idea whether she's still with him or not... from the entries i read, doesn't seem so... wait, actually come to think of it... her entries somehow somewhat reflects on me. and this kinda instinctive thought that just risen in my head, that laurz should read this. gah i don't know... i quote this from her blog:
"Once I remembered someone saying this. A person can LOVE with ALL his heart for only ONE person in his lifetime. Let¡¦s say¡K a person feels that this is the greatest love of all. The person he loves is the most wonderful thing that ever happened to him. She is the true love. She is his everything. She completes him. However, fate has it that they cannot be together, no matter what. Even after many years down the road, will he be able to experience that same love ever again with another? She can be everything he ever wanted, she can be the most sensitive, most understanding, most thoughtful, and even the most beautiful he had ever met. Just that she isn¡¦t the same person as his first true love. Will his love for her be as much as before? Or is he just settling down for the sake of¡K maybe age catching up and just want anybody to keep him company? Or would he rather give it all up and be alone for the rest of his life? It¡¦s very much daunting for me to just think about it. Tears welling up in the corner of my eyes."
unquote(erp, what am i doing...)
that gave me a lot of thoughts about myself. i really wonder, how would i move on from all this? sigh... i also read lauz blog and... her last entry almost brought tears to my eyes. well actually it did... it was all in chinese but i still manage to understand most of the words. to think all along since after we broke up she was leading a great outside life of freedom.... i really can't bear to see her like that now. hurts me bad that she's not being her cheery self and worse, i can't do much about it. my heart says that i should attend to her, but my mind tells me that doing so will only made things worse for myself and maybe her too. it's been months since i last spoke to her or even smsed her.... mmm wait did sent her a funny mms a few days ago... just did that for fun.... no not really... sigh. gah, it's all coming back to me... what should i do? what should i do....
posted by Tommy at 2:43 PM
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