I dream of her...

freak... was typing halfway when my computer froze... nvm. yesterday was pretty much the same as any other day, nothing much going on. basically stay at home the whole day, watching Family Guy, games and net surfing... and playing Need for Speed Underground 2! it was awsome, just that my computer isn't that good enough to play well. this morning was back to work from the long weekend, in the morning had intended to do some running in prep for my dreaded ippt, but somehow just couldn't pull myself together to do it. well thankfully i didn't run, cos i was needed to do some last mi deplyment. work wasn;t much either, i was drving here, there again... just waiting for the day to pass by. this morning i had a dream before i woke up, i had actually dreamt of meeting up with laurz! don't know why... but i remembered that i was really happy to see her again, it's like a natural high just to have her in my sight. the reality didn't set in till much later... that we were no longer together sigh.... but before that happened, it felt so real that she appeared in my dream. it was like, i didn't want to wake up and miss this chance... she was looking great, with that smile... it's like she really does have that aura around her that attracts me. it's like some energy feeling.... in the real world here it's the same. maybe it's just me, but i felt that she does have that certain special quality that no other people have... and i saw that in her. that kinda makes me feel good... about myself. you know, some achievement... that no one could see that but me. sigh... never had the chance to tell her that... and it's already too late to do that. soon some other guy will she that in her and all this will just fade away... downloaded this song a couple days ago, didn't really notice about the lyrics till recently, it's by Kelly Clarkson, Breakaway... it would just remind me of her somehow...

Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I just stared out my window
Dreaming of a could-be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray (I would pray)

Trying not to reach out
But when I'd try to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I pray (I would pray)
I could breakaway

[Chorus:]
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I loved
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will)
And breakaway

[Chorus]

Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging around wild indoors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway

I'll spread my wings
And I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk
Take chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway...

it's true that she wanted to be free, look at her now... she's happy the way she is now. told me that i was great but... :os i'd honestly say that she's the greatest friend i've ever had and probably will for the rest of my life, but she never said who i am to her before she left... and that really hurt me a lot... oh god... *streams of tears*