It's Blue Monday again, let my sorrows pour out like the rain today...

today, all i did most of the time was drive, drive and drive. nope, didn't wash any kennels. nope, didn't do any dog training. nope, didn't groom any dogs. nope, didn't even went anywhere near the kennels today. Can consider today, quite alright. Just found out that tomorrow was supposedly my shift off day.... then happen so that tomorrow there's a parade and we have to attend it, so that off day is postponed to elsewhere. damn. quite a number of ppl took planned leave, taking advantage of the 2 public holidays this month. i didn't take any, wanna save for next month.... for what, i dunno. last night met up with dick... was disappointed that he didn't find any huge amount of cash. however, he got me this well duplicated sunglasses (almost lah), with the little 'Gucci' brand embedded in the frame. man, it looks real... from afar. well glad that he actually got me something... the thought of that never crossed my mind. slept in camp that night alone, those guys who'd normally stay over took leave on the next day, so the atmosphere in the barrack kinda brought out the negative self. i recalled having a dream a few days ago, it was about laura and i forgot much of it... but it was something about losing her. to me it was a nightmare... had woke up at 5 in the morning and couldn't really go back to sleep. those words from her... telling me off and all... kept haunting me from time to time. how she had broken my heart so hard... what she had made me go through... at the same time my mind was also on how hard it would have been for her too... anyone could just make me fall, and i'd get back up... but when she's the one who made me fall, i just couldn't really get back up. why do i keep counting on her... i tell myself, i have no other one to count on. going into another relationship just becos of this is just so wrong... i miss those hugs, those words, those kisses... and those touch... it's just so sad that all these will never be alive again. if i could turn back the time, i'd wanna re-live those 3 1/2 years again, every single bit of it, both happy and sad times.... no, i'd wanna make it perfect, learn from my mistakes and see her happy. damn... why am i such a sucker... i am like that anyway.