time... is... so... slow...

my mum had asked me when i came home, why i bother to come home when i have to go back to camp again later at night? well, sometimes i have to bring home my dirty uniform to wash, bring out fresh new ones... actually i just felt the need to simply let out. everytime i come home, i switch on the computer and get online, hoping that i've got mail from anyone... but most of the time i don't. except for today, got a message from my neighbour living upstairs... he agrees that our block doesn't have any babes at all haha... did quite a bit of driving today, heard that tomorrow gotta send a dog to Jalan kayu animal clinic for some treatment or whatsoever... my guess would be me who's gonna drive there. well if so, hope that my veh commd. listens to english radio stations, that yes 93.3 gives shit to my ears. nowadays gotta find a way to put my mind off depressing things... like my so-called outside camp frens... while taking the bus home. radio ain't working, playing games on the phone gives me headache... and dun talk about reading anything too. maybe it's inevitable, that i HAVE to go thru this mentally depressing and demoralizing phase, to sort of ' make me stronger' or ' be better prepared in the future' blah blah blah... i haven't even planned or have the slightest idea of what i really wanna do in life, that car thing it's only a fantasy... how i'm gonna really live it's... gah i don't know. sigh... so what's next? i'm gonna go online one last time, then i'm gonna pack my stuff and go back to... camp... and sleep... and wake up the next day and watch the time go by ever so slowly.... i feel so... non-existant, the only times where i'm wanted is in camp where the guys need a driver to send them here, there... THAT'S the only attention i have. it sucks to have little $$$ and it sucks to have ppl that don't give much of a fuck about you. it's even worse when you have 2 of those happening in one's life at the same time.... sigh what's new for me...