Leading a double life (cont)

Had a good, long afternoon sleep... *yawn*. the weather has been quite windy these days and last night's duty area was reeeeally cold. if it weren't for that multi-purpose camo scarf i bought along which i wrapped it around my neck last night, i really would've been shivering non-stop like like some... shivering guy brr. my mind right now is rather empty at this time, currently not filled with anything about the past, what's around me now... all feel now is.... i need to str-eetch.... aahhhh....
last night told stef thru sms that was feeling like talking to someone, then she told me that she was outside and would tell me that she let me know when she gets home. in the end, no message, no calls... and it's already a new morning. when asked, she told me she had a fight with her bf last night and forgot about me. fair enough... i wonder, they have been fighting a lot for weeks already, why would she still wanna carry on this relationship. i mean, a fight once a while is rather the norm, but almost everytime? i'll leave that to her...
at the moment, i see 2 distinctive lives going around me. in camp, i got guys fooling around, talking loads of bullshit and it's simply irrissistable to join in the crapiness. on the other hand, that same person once in touch with the outside world, becomes quiet and rather just keeps to himself. a funny and what seems to be an average guy around familiar people, a cold look in front of others. hmm, i'm not really into talking much today, though i'm feeling there's som sadness in me that needs to be shed out... really there are time where blog is just ain't enough to comfort you. (i'm beginning to talk crap i sense...)
alright before i end up having more weird things coming out of my head, i better go have my dinner. it's another duty night, another long break before christmas... ok i'm really not in the mood for anything now. hope it rains tonight, hope it rains tonight....