I think its time....

... to look at what I am going after really. Just moments ago, I found out that I'm just not ready to get into a relationship with anyone, in the most embarassing, unimaginable and possibly the most humiliating (to me) way. I become someone whom I thought I've kept locked for good inside me.... but it just somehow broke free and came out again. Basically.... I just broke down. I really did and I... simply have no words for it.

It's been about 3 years since I started looking at older ladies out there.... I think it's time that I take a break myself and re-discover what am I truly seeking. Or I should just not seek a partner and just... be alone for a while and let myself settle into the world around me once again. I now feel so silly to not heed the advices that were given to me all these years. Gosh, what did I land myself into.

I'll just live each day as it is... for now.