A day spent... alone.

ahh... it always feels so good to be home after spending some many days away. the past 2 days on duty was a total killer, the tv was spoilt. yes, our only source of entertainment to keep us sane is gone. how did i managed to survive those 2 days without tv up there? radio, sleeping and my phone games. during the first days was pure bad luck, one thing led to another and for the rest of that night, my mood was really low. the 2nd wasn't so bad...and there's today. :)
today immediately after leaving camp, i followed some guys to the arcade in jurongpoint. after that went home... god i was like so tired, but yet i felt the need to go out cos it's a saturday and i just got pay and tonight i don't need to go back to camp. i had actually intended to go shopping for clothes at bugis.... ended up i got car wash stuff and a new mp3 player. :( i really don't know why i have this impulsive money spending behaviour, when i got home i was like silently crying to myself in my room, asking myself why why why am i doing things without thinking and blah... it sucks to shop alone really. i couldn't find anything i liked, went to almost every clothes shop around... even browsed at top man in bugis...still nothing appealing caught my eye. maybe it's becos i've never been shopping at all, have no... experience or something like that. sigh....
towards the end of the day, i noticed that i was experiencing some pain just below my left knee. it was rather uncomfortable, felt like some bone was slightly dislodged. i knew that my knee sometimes got like weird things happening, usually i'd brush them off... this time it felt more serious. my right ankle too, could feel like the joints were rubbing each other alot.... nowadays i sometimes feel a little funny while walking. to be frank, i'm feeling a little scared. i just don't know why... just have this afraid feeling in me, like something unpleasant might happen to me... :(
just now went to check out laura's blog... man just can't help to feel jealous to see her with this kevin guy... i know i'm not suppose to feel like this but.... it's this natural feeling that comes to you when that someone who you still like is being with another guy who is possible much... well i think it's more definately, more better than me... at the same i just wanna see how she's doing. obviously she's doing fine, no need to ask... how? how....
hmm... this just came to my head, with v-day (sigh) coming, somehow couples are actually breaking up. kenneth just came out from a patched up relationship with his ex.... john err think also not with anyone now....

i'm tired now, really sleepy.

oh wait, a while ago my mum caught me talking to myself. is it wrong to talk to one's self? my mum got freaked out and told me not to do that again, laughable but heh... in a way does freak ppl out sometimes. ok that's it.... off to bed....