wednesday start

just woke up... couldn't sleep anymore, now too much time in hand. last night did something which made me depressed all over again, me and my itchy hands. everyone said that this ain't gonna be easy at all getting over all these, and there're still many many more to come. i sigh at the thought of that...feels like my life is slowly degenerating. i couldn't sleep and didn't feel like eating and no one was available to talk... about this. can't always go to the same person right? felt like i shouldn't pass the test and get this day off, it's pretty useless for me. fell asleep on the couch in the living room, woke up at 5 to move back to my room cos don't wanna let my mum see... nowadays kept thinking of what my mum said about the palm reading that we had long time ago, she said remembered the reader saying that i'm not the type of people who tries just a few times to get things done, it'll take me many many times for me to do so... so i can't just give up just like that. hmm during this part of my life i'm feeling really empty, no carrot dangling in front of me, no reason to chase anything, no exciting events to keep me distracted... hmm maybe today i'll go out taking pictures of where i went and what catches my eyes. oh boy... my driving course is ending soon and i'll have to go back to working with those late night duties... i don't really have the drive to really move on yet, the motivation to persue what i want, a driver with no destination.... i'm just letting it out, just letting it out....