Lost battle

no words can describe how broken down i already am. i woke up this morning, having that very uneasy feeling about the day ahead. Marv smsed me to stick to the story, i knew bad was gonna happen. later in the morning, master called saying he wanted to see me and talk to me personally. i knew what's gonna happen, but i wasn't really prepared to face it.
I was being interrogated, scrutinized and threatened. i kept to the story, i stood by it with no expression, trying not to show any weakness at all. this went on constantly, i knew how all these guys work to get the truth out... and it came to a time where i just don't know who to trust and what to do... i asked to be alone for a while, my head was a total mess...

that was when i broke down totally.

my body went through an uncontrollable shiver, my teeth shaking non-stop, my mind unable to comprehend what was going around me. it was obvious that i couldn't handle the mental stress and all the threats that were thrown at me. i didn't want to be the weakest link, the laughing stock or talked about as the cowardly one, i was already going through a troubled life of my own, this confined situation just tipped the iceberg. i had to spit out the truth, which was no more than an accident in its pure right way. the standing order wasn't breached at all, i didn't load up before the nco and the ic came. somehow the cover story came up and we all went along with it... who came up with it no one really knew. i was a let down to myself and to everyone...

i'm screwed, i can't face up to anyone anymore.