Differences, trusts, myself....
Any decision always has its own consequences. although choices are considered as luxury according to some ppl, what's only available to choose sometimes... make no differences. i had to choose between myself and the others... to stick with the story or give myself in. i chose the latter and now i'm finding myself all sorts of reasons and excuses for my own actions... whether i made the right choice or the reasons have their point, i may not even know.
last night i came back to camp to sleep over, the cold feeling was already around. news saying that i broke down and confessing the truth had already spread throughout the shift and it's apparent that... i displayed the action of betrayal. i know i've been to told to stick to the same story and have the total thrust in all the shift guys and to stick together... apart from thinking about myself, the cover story was getting out of hand, facts were still shaky and more loopholes were discovered. it already generated so much hype that it was already a worse case than the actual incident itself, invloving more ppl than it should. there shouldn't even be a cover story in the first place, and what pissed me most was that i had thought of telling the truth in the first place, cos nothing was breached, whatever punishment would have been served minimal. the next day, well let's just say it was time for the verdict. me, marv the nco, zhang our 1 ic and nic the 2ic all got 7 extras. initially zhang was gonna be slapped with a charge, 10 days minimum SOL i think (can't remember what it means)... i tried to talk to the black guy who said that and there wasn't much i could do. eventually the other more subtle black one convinced him to reduce that to extras instead... but the 4 of us will definately be marked. gonna serve the extras over the weekends thru january and feb, sigh. because of my actions, the bonds that i have built with the shift guys.... let's just say i'm starting from the bottom square 1 again.
right now Antis is my main concern. once again, if he heals, good. if not, he's gonna be put to sleep, so say i was told. for goodness sake, i never intended for him to jump up the bloody tonner, he had to freaking do such a stunt and get me into this deep shit... really fucking hope he gets better. but anyway, master briefed us on some things to try and speed up his recovery, things like putting cardboard into his kennel so that his leg don't have to lie on the concrete floor... hotpress for his legs... and a half-boiled egg everyday, along with his feed. for calcium, he says. why don't just give Antis Anlene milk? sigh... he's the expert in dogs, no other choice to take his word....
i still don't have any plans of celebrating the new year... no one's inviting me, no one to find... laura's online now but.. well i can try to talk to her but no point in that... i'm still stressed out internally, not sure what i did was right or wrong....
last night i came back to camp to sleep over, the cold feeling was already around. news saying that i broke down and confessing the truth had already spread throughout the shift and it's apparent that... i displayed the action of betrayal. i know i've been to told to stick to the same story and have the total thrust in all the shift guys and to stick together... apart from thinking about myself, the cover story was getting out of hand, facts were still shaky and more loopholes were discovered. it already generated so much hype that it was already a worse case than the actual incident itself, invloving more ppl than it should. there shouldn't even be a cover story in the first place, and what pissed me most was that i had thought of telling the truth in the first place, cos nothing was breached, whatever punishment would have been served minimal. the next day, well let's just say it was time for the verdict. me, marv the nco, zhang our 1 ic and nic the 2ic all got 7 extras. initially zhang was gonna be slapped with a charge, 10 days minimum SOL i think (can't remember what it means)... i tried to talk to the black guy who said that and there wasn't much i could do. eventually the other more subtle black one convinced him to reduce that to extras instead... but the 4 of us will definately be marked. gonna serve the extras over the weekends thru january and feb, sigh. because of my actions, the bonds that i have built with the shift guys.... let's just say i'm starting from the bottom square 1 again.
right now Antis is my main concern. once again, if he heals, good. if not, he's gonna be put to sleep, so say i was told. for goodness sake, i never intended for him to jump up the bloody tonner, he had to freaking do such a stunt and get me into this deep shit... really fucking hope he gets better. but anyway, master briefed us on some things to try and speed up his recovery, things like putting cardboard into his kennel so that his leg don't have to lie on the concrete floor... hotpress for his legs... and a half-boiled egg everyday, along with his feed. for calcium, he says. why don't just give Antis Anlene milk? sigh... he's the expert in dogs, no other choice to take his word....
i still don't have any plans of celebrating the new year... no one's inviting me, no one to find... laura's online now but.. well i can try to talk to her but no point in that... i'm still stressed out internally, not sure what i did was right or wrong....
posted by Tommy at 6:28 PM
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