Another bombshell...
Some time after the last post, things somehow got a bit better. In fact actually, she didn't want to end contact, according to her she said those things while under pressure and thus the rash decisions. To me, I'm just glad that we're still in contact. We even had a :"bonus meet" just last Wednesday night.
Then just some 3 hours ago, in the middle of the night, she came online to tell me that she'd lost a lot during her majong session in her house. So much that she claimed that she won't be able to afford entertainment and leisure for the rest of the year. Then she went to say that she won't be able to meet me on my birthday and subsequent birthdays... in other words basically, we won't get to see each other again... for like almost forever.
Initially this came as a shock... because 1) out of the blue she came to tell me this in the middle of the night and 2) she lost like what appears to be a huge part of her savings in the game of majong. Then as I began to digest what's going on, some things don't make much sense. How can one be one lost so much money, until you're forced to forgo entertainment and leisure... for the rest of the year? If it's till the end of the month, that I can understand.... but for the whole year??? Can't possibly place her salary amount in advanced right? I asked if she had to own money to her majong friends and she said no. I mentioned that we don't neccessary need to spend money whenever we hang out and she replied that she wouldn't feel happy if she were to go out and restrict herself with the spending. Alright, for a lady this may be a serious issue.... but on that Wednesday night, I really do not recall seeing spend a single cent while she was with me, apart from the food we had in Cafe Cartel which I paid for it. It just doesn't add up.
The next thing was that ok, she loves majong and occassionally have friends over at her place or she goes to others. Majong is a game of luck and skill.... agreed. But if you know that someone is losing so much in the game, till a point that it's affecting his/her personal life.... do you still have the conscious to continue playing? Or would you advise that person to stop... if not you yourself back off from the game and stop the game altogether? I mean to continue playing, knowing that its like you're stealing luck from that person and making her go into a silent miserable state... is just fucking sick. Either her friends didn't know of her situation, or they're just sick people. At one part of time, she told me that I've couldn't believe that insane amount of bets those guys are playing with, I could come down and see it for myself. So I said yea, I'll come down. The next reply was, what was I gonna do when I'm there. Well obviously I would wanna see the huge bets for myself and ask if they knew that she lost so much in the games. Then she replied that she wasn't ready to open our relationship to the others and started to divert the attention to elsewhere...where she basically says that I don't understand. Alright I don't understand, coz her words are confusing and doesn't add up to many things. I called her instead and what I hear was an irritated voice of hers. To sum it up, she said that I was paranoid, acting childish, it wasn't the right time for her to explain and hung up on me.
Looking back now, I believed that compared to the previous incident, I had handled the situation much better than before. How was I childish? I was merely trying to find answers to fill up the missing pieces so that I can understand what's going on. Alright, maybe that was being childish of me to do that... but you can't expect me to take that lightly. At first I thought she was trying to pull my leg... throwing me such a bombshell. If she had knew me well enough, especially from that time when she threw the breakup, she would have known how I'd react to it. On that Saturday morning itself, she said that I could drive to her place that night so she could help me with the car wash... something which I was looking forward. Then during evening she smsed that her frens wanna hold a majong session at her place and asked to do the wash another time. Who wouldn't feel disappointed after hearing that... but because on that Wednesday night her fren had "jio" her out while she was with me... so it's only fair to return the favour. Thinking about it, this wouldn't have happened if she had declined the majong, right? But she's a majong freak... what can I say. In a way I feel really bad, like if only I had insisted that we meet instead and stuff... but according to her, that's not the point of the discussing, what happened has happened.... a similar phrase used when she broke up with me.
Really, I couldn't help but to think about this the whole night through. I did sleep... but I wished that it was forever. I dropped some message into her MSN, saying that I'm gonna leave her alone for a while until things cool down and that she's ready to explain what is really going on. Sigh... the best thing is I'd still forgive her. Gosh, why do I always fall for the .... argh nevermind.
Then just some 3 hours ago, in the middle of the night, she came online to tell me that she'd lost a lot during her majong session in her house. So much that she claimed that she won't be able to afford entertainment and leisure for the rest of the year. Then she went to say that she won't be able to meet me on my birthday and subsequent birthdays... in other words basically, we won't get to see each other again... for like almost forever.
Initially this came as a shock... because 1) out of the blue she came to tell me this in the middle of the night and 2) she lost like what appears to be a huge part of her savings in the game of majong. Then as I began to digest what's going on, some things don't make much sense. How can one be one lost so much money, until you're forced to forgo entertainment and leisure... for the rest of the year? If it's till the end of the month, that I can understand.... but for the whole year??? Can't possibly place her salary amount in advanced right? I asked if she had to own money to her majong friends and she said no. I mentioned that we don't neccessary need to spend money whenever we hang out and she replied that she wouldn't feel happy if she were to go out and restrict herself with the spending. Alright, for a lady this may be a serious issue.... but on that Wednesday night, I really do not recall seeing spend a single cent while she was with me, apart from the food we had in Cafe Cartel which I paid for it. It just doesn't add up.
The next thing was that ok, she loves majong and occassionally have friends over at her place or she goes to others. Majong is a game of luck and skill.... agreed. But if you know that someone is losing so much in the game, till a point that it's affecting his/her personal life.... do you still have the conscious to continue playing? Or would you advise that person to stop... if not you yourself back off from the game and stop the game altogether? I mean to continue playing, knowing that its like you're stealing luck from that person and making her go into a silent miserable state... is just fucking sick. Either her friends didn't know of her situation, or they're just sick people. At one part of time, she told me that I've couldn't believe that insane amount of bets those guys are playing with, I could come down and see it for myself. So I said yea, I'll come down. The next reply was, what was I gonna do when I'm there. Well obviously I would wanna see the huge bets for myself and ask if they knew that she lost so much in the games. Then she replied that she wasn't ready to open our relationship to the others and started to divert the attention to elsewhere...where she basically says that I don't understand. Alright I don't understand, coz her words are confusing and doesn't add up to many things. I called her instead and what I hear was an irritated voice of hers. To sum it up, she said that I was paranoid, acting childish, it wasn't the right time for her to explain and hung up on me.
Looking back now, I believed that compared to the previous incident, I had handled the situation much better than before. How was I childish? I was merely trying to find answers to fill up the missing pieces so that I can understand what's going on. Alright, maybe that was being childish of me to do that... but you can't expect me to take that lightly. At first I thought she was trying to pull my leg... throwing me such a bombshell. If she had knew me well enough, especially from that time when she threw the breakup, she would have known how I'd react to it. On that Saturday morning itself, she said that I could drive to her place that night so she could help me with the car wash... something which I was looking forward. Then during evening she smsed that her frens wanna hold a majong session at her place and asked to do the wash another time. Who wouldn't feel disappointed after hearing that... but because on that Wednesday night her fren had "jio" her out while she was with me... so it's only fair to return the favour. Thinking about it, this wouldn't have happened if she had declined the majong, right? But she's a majong freak... what can I say. In a way I feel really bad, like if only I had insisted that we meet instead and stuff... but according to her, that's not the point of the discussing, what happened has happened.... a similar phrase used when she broke up with me.
Really, I couldn't help but to think about this the whole night through. I did sleep... but I wished that it was forever. I dropped some message into her MSN, saying that I'm gonna leave her alone for a while until things cool down and that she's ready to explain what is really going on. Sigh... the best thing is I'd still forgive her. Gosh, why do I always fall for the .... argh nevermind.
posted by Tommy at 9:07 AM
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