staring blankly into my ceiling, which had like got... 6 glow-in-the-dark stars?

sigh... just woke up, so expect a bit of grumpiness...just felt like it's dull day today. nothing much happened, last night while on duty, my dog kept pulling me whenever a car passes by, very 'mafan' trying to pull him back, with me wearing that bulky sbo and rifle... i just had slept from about 1 plus pm till now which is about 5pm... the school term has started and everyone's kinda busy in one way or another. i'm still not really clicking with my shift ppl, even though it' a bunch of mainly english speaking ppl... somehow rather be with the shift i was before i went for driver course, but that life's gone. just dunno why i can't click, either they see me as too much as a slacker which i am trying not to, or it's just like that. either way i'm just feeling that i'm living every day there as just another dog's life there, just going thru the motion and counting down the days till i get outta there. like i mentioned earlier, i am feeling a little grumpy... just trying to let out all these shit inside me. sigh hope this so-called dark period goes away soon...

nil

hmm... apparently the last blog entry was... 'just not good'. after reading it myself, i ought to slap myself in the face... but then again, i felt a little better letting it out, those 'bad' thoughts cleared away from my head. unfortunately sometimes it doesn't work out that way in the end, won't wanna elaborate... hey if ya reading this, i really didn't mean to put you to such a bad light, really. i still love you in someway or another, still love you... err nevermind TODAY! this morning was kinda *shakes head*... from now on i can't drive the ppl up when i'm suppose to coz i'm suppose to RUN, crappy. but that's not it, the highlight was the group obedience, my FIRST one. god dammit my bloody dog Antis, supposedly a tame and OBEDIENT dog, tried to run all over the place and i had a hard time trying to control him.... and my master saw the way i tried to control him and he wasn't happy about it and started like fucking me here, there... every whereee... actually i don't really like to beat dogs, i feel it's like, cruel. anyway he was like fucking me and i was like inside me saying 'yah yah yes yes, fuck me some more, yadiyadiyah....' actually if i was taking Noby instead, wouldn't have such a problem. Noby, that cute dumb dog hehehe... oh that group obedience thingy was like the most tiring thing ever, had to march, turn here turn there, then even got RUNNING... man and i'm handling that rocket flying Antis! he was like wah lao, a lose ballistic rocket running all over the place, and i even stepped on his foot like dunno how many times cos he's always crossing my path... surprised that he doesn't bark when i step on him. *yawn*... oh god gotta get some sleep now, didn't sleep much last night, partly due to , nvm actually yesterday slept quite a lot in the afternooon, end up i woke up every hour at night... no wait gotta repair my watch... argh

Not in a good mood

some pics i took at the dreamcar show 


DAMD's Nissan 350Z 


Me beside a dark GT-R 


A local tuned Skyline 


A Porcshe lookalike MR-S 


A local WRX 


hmm... actually don't feel like blogging these days, haven't been at home much this week... so busy being tired outside... now i've got this long weekend but i'm broke, again.... right now experiencing another low point of my life. yesterday went to the dreamcar asia show at expo, wasn't exactly a good time there even though it's showing my favourite stuff. laura was kind enough to accompany me there and she was actually not feeling well, yet she insisted on accompanying me. what a good friend indeed... something which made yesterday turn upside down. firstly, she can only acompany for the afternoon, in the evening she's meeting up with her ex-primary sch mates and she was not feeling well since last night and thus, woke up a little late that day. she couldn't make up her mind on what to wear and took some time.... in the end met up at about 3... half the afternoon gone. i kept quiet, cos i know if i made any noise, the day would be ruined. while on the way there, she wanted to eat, me too... at the same time there was some food fair thingy going on at expo, so ate there... then finally went to the car show... it was spectacular sight for me, but to her, it was just a bunch of metal stuff she's not interested in. the begining part was alright, until i said i wanna go round another time. that's when she put up this not-interested look the rest of the while. from then on it was sour, all sour. i don't even wanna talk about it. this was what i normally do at car shows, i like to go round seeing the cars again and again, i'm a car freak dammit. when she put up that look, it made me feel guilty that i made her accompany me just for this, felt that i should at least do something in return. she was not feeling well so thought that i should accompany her to city hall to meet her frens. she took time, as a friend, to accomany this car show. i too took time to accompanied her to meet her friends, and that's when she mentioned that "i need space" thingy again. you know what, today she didn't even messaged me at since and it's already evening... had woke up from my nap and called her, she was watching her shows... i freaking understand that we're broken up and NOT TOGETHER... ah forget it, i tried to be there as a friend to everyone and no one, even her appreciates. i'm being hated by my new shift mates in camp cos they're seeing me as slacking, when i'm fucking trying not to. all the bloody work is being done by the new birds and nothing much is left for me to do, thus ending up looking as if i'm slacking... fuck i'll do anything they tell me to do, just like being a dog myself, sucking up to every single bloody motherfucker and i still not being appreciated as a bloody friend.

b o r e d...

oh wow... it's been so long since i last touched this blogging thingy... and now when i wanna fill it up, i can't seem to remember the events happened the past week. hahaha... ah who cares? let's see... ah yesterday... suppose to be on standy duty, but had to do cover duty for the 3rd time... urgh and last mintue too... but i didn't mind taking it, cos i wanted to get take the afternoon off to send laura off, she's now over at bangkok for a short holiday with her parents, coming back tomorrow evening. so me came home, in a cab cos i was SO tired... then went to her house and went to the airport... then her brother dropped me off at orchard and i went walkinf around... ya loh. today this morning, was feeling really really sleepy and tired... was suppose to do standy up there at the doggie place but someone had offered to take my place so i was ok... but now kinda regret it cos today didn;t do much and was so boring! afternoon slept till about 6, went to IMM walk around and tomorrow morning, have to go back to camp to run?! yah... cos i failed my ippt shit... urgh! why why why.... sigh nothing else to write now... very sian! so much for a free weekend... :o|

busy!

yeah... been really caught up with work... sigh... looking forward to the weekend cos i'll be free then! for now... tired, sleepy, laura in bangkok... hai

someone free me from this terrible job!

oh god, so little time to do these days, only got an hour left before i head back to camp... had a long long 8 to 5 day... as usual was painting the gates silver in the afternoon... yesterday was like better, cos i mamaged to not go up to the dog sect at all! the whole day was suppose to go for my orientation drive, but in the end only did the airfield permit test in the afternoon... and that was it. this morning was REALLY suppose to do my orientation, but there weren't enough manpower around, so it's gonna be pushed to next week. oh boy... at least sometime next week can escape the 8-5 shit... oh yesterday after work met up with laura and went to the heeren to watch her fren's band performance. after that went to billy bombers for dinner, YUM! then walked around... and met stef! can say she looked surprised to see me and laura out here, together, haha. soon after met up with laura's fren, irna... they're planning to go clubbing, ladies night. soon after she went off with her frens, i went home... and kinda helped her enroll for her class thingy, and was feeling kinda tired so slept... glad to hear today that laura had a good time out there, just only that she had to come home early cos of her mum... ah shit gotta go pack now, have to do my runs almost every morning, before 7am! sigh..... :o(

my ippt... FAIL! :o(

whoa... haven't upadted this in a while, well the reason's simple, i'm already back in that doggie place. 8 to 5pm for the past few days till this sat... all work, very little time to play! tonight i had intended to go back to camp and stay over the night, but i felt like nah, rather sleep in the comfort of my own home and relax. this morning had my first IPPT, it's been a while since i last trained for such thing and believe me, the timing for this is so appropriate... 4 days after i came back from a course that made me sleep, eat and drive for the past 6 weeks and i'm suppose to go for this ippt. great huh? the results were expected, i failed my standing broad jump and 2.4km run. wat's next? every 8-5pm days i have to run up to the doggie place and in the evening, run back to the barracks. 8-1pm days just run up in the morning. until my next ippt test. :( and i'm a driver! that means almost every morning i have to drive up to the doggie place, do my run, get changed and drive back to the barracks to fetch the ppl up, argh! i'm so unlucky... anyway today was miserable, morning failed ippt, was so tired and sore after that cos i didn't train for it dor SO LONG, in the afternoon was painting the kennel gates and getting my hands all silver. to end it all, there was no driver to drive us down back to the barracks, so had to WALK. fucked up day... and now my right arm, the bicep area, the muscles are i dunno sore or something, pain man. but nevermind, tomorrow morning i'm having my orientation drive around the base, can skip the bloody kennel washing and dog grooming, yes! afternoon... sigh. mm... 1 more day to pay day, yay... *yawn*... god i'm still so tired.....

i want a new phone...

oh er... this morning's entry? heh really had no idea what i was writing... :oD TODAY! ya... i had some breakfast after writing that entry then went back to sleep, woken up at about 1pm by laura's call. man when i woke up i was feelin' so bloody groggy, like some hangover. then i went out to the kitchen, thinking that mum my had made some lunch for me... WRONG! so... got changed and went to clementi for lunch... had tried to call for some company but as usual, no one's free. after eating, went walking around... then went home. there wasn't much to do at home, so i went out again, this time to PS Carrefour to walk around and at the same time thinking of getting dinner too. while there, laura had told me that she'd be getting a new phone today (grr), asking me for opinion on which phone to get. she happened to be at the hello shop in orchard, and asked me whether i wanna join her... and her brother... and her mum... and her mum's fren. whoa. so i said,"sure, ok" got there and met them... apparently both laura and his brother got some phone discount voucher... that explains the change of phone... oh and what guess what phone they're getting.... Nokia 7200, both of them! i was like so full of jealousy inside me but at the same time happy for her, it's about time for her to get a new phone too. both of them wanted the black colour version, the shop there didn't have and only the one at Causeway point have... so we all went there (yes, me in their car and all), they got their phones... then went to the food court to have dinner... (dinner was great, really full *burp*) then they sent me home first. the meeting up with laura's family was realy unexpected and unplanned, but still was great... though laura and i ain't really together and the family thought we still are. interesting eh? well gotta sleep soon, waking up early to head to camp, a long and boring week ahead... and my IPPT this tuesday!!! dammit i'm dead man, chances of even passing it is slim. sigh.... *prays*

YAWN!

*yawn...* it's 7:15am and just couldn't go back to sleep... last night slept at about 1am plus... fell asleep before laura could call. these few days couldn't call cos i was busy... hope i can remember the events...
Ah my birthday 2 days ago, first thing in the morning was to go back to Tengah Air Base. the feeling was sucky, going back there and suffering... which was not to be! ;p bcos the new batch of people had already arrived there about a week after i went for course, i'm no longer the newbie! all of a sudden everything to me seemed too slack... not used to not doing the work hahaha. oh, was suppose to be doing 8-5pm on that day, but last minute changes ended up having me to cover duty for someone. so that night went back to camp and what luck, there was no deployment for duty cos of something.... luck was really on me that day! not only that it kinda carried forward to the next morning, where it rained in the morning... another slack slack period! haha it all seemed to pefect for me. after my duty i went out to meet up with laura and we watch harry potter and the prisoner of blahblahblah...went shopping fora while and accompanied her to her fren's bbq....after the day ended felt that i had a great day, so did she. sigh i guess i shouldnt be trying to write so early in the morning, cos i can't think and even type properly hahahha... okok so that was what happened the past days.... better end here :op

My final day of driving course... *sad*

Hmm.. today proved to be a kinda day... cos it's my last day of my this driving course. after going through almost 6 weeks of training, being put under the sun and bearing through the almost unbearable hot afternoons... spent countless hours doing absolutely nothing and not being able to sleep or get proper rest, suffered so much delayed and admin problems caused by the camp itself, scrutinized thoroughly by the toughest and strictest testers... i've finally passed and completed this course! and the result??? This...

My army driving permit!!! a bit blur though... :oD 

Yep, that's my licence to drive army vehicles, yeah yeah i know i still can't drive any cilivian cars whatsoever, but it's the damn closest thing to it ok! i might even have plans to just go for the cilivian asap, can really feel the need to drive and make an impact on the motorsports scene here in Singapore :op today i did my last and final IWCD in a rover, boy it was the best rover i've driven so far! lack of power as usual, but it made up with it's excellent gearbox and better-than-usual clutch. Tomorrow i'm going back to Tengah Air Base again, back to the now known as Dog Platoon (snigger)... think the new batch of guys are already in there, so i'm no more a newbie! plus i've got dual vocational status, which means less work, more driving! hope it goes that way... but still going back there, waking up early every single day, doing morning runs and i've yet to do my IPPT?! and get silver too! sigh), doing those night duties and washing of kennels and all those management, bunk cleaning, training and grooming... sigh. well at least i get to see Noby again, i kinda guess that he's gonna be taken up by the newbies and i'll be assigned to another dog... sigh. and what great timing to go back to unit, on my birthday. actually i could've told them that i'll being going back on saturday, claiming that friday would the last day of course... but i fear if they found out the truth, there goes my almost perfect record of good performance in their eyes... speaking of my birthday, no plans, doing 8-5pm there at camp, then head home, along the way buy myself a cake, some kfc for the family and that's it... but sat afternoon i'll be meeting up with laura, she asked me for lunch... how can i refuse??? was thinking of bringing her to go ice skating... yeah maybe i'll ask her that. well, got a few hours left of my free time before i go back to that sucky life as a dog handler... gonna spend it on gaming and i dunno... do what i always do best, dreaming of my fantasy life and sleep :oD

yep, still no creative title so far....

ok today... it's a vesak day holiday, felt like a sat too. had slept at 2 last night and woke up at 7am, then went back to sleep and woke up at 9... made breakfast myself, got myself full and guess what... my mum came back from the market and bought nasi lemak for me. Ok. so anyway ate that too as my breakfast-cum-lunch... then went online for a while, met laura online, she was tutoring her cousin... met another fren online, told me that she had just got back together with her ex who she had broken up with just last night. had intended to go out to read stuff at Borders at about 2plus in the afternoon, but i kinda took a nap which i didn't expected it to last more than an hour... and i woke up at 4. Ooook.... but still went out anyway... headed to borders, read books and stuff... then went to taka to walk around and browse thru the cold storage... then i had to buy my own dinner and didn't know what to buy there... so went to clementi to buy this hot and spicy beef ramen... in chinese they called it lah-mian. lalalala... and i also bought some zhu zhang fen... chee cheong fun in other words. went home at my dinner, and watched The Rainmaker on tv... somehow i kinda like watching Matt Damon's shows, dunno why... i like his other more recent movie The Bourne Identity and looking forward to the sequel, The Bourne Supremacy... can't wait! then had wanted to write my blog tonight but the movie ended kinda late and i had to sleep soon... but i wasn't feeling sleepy so watched the later half of Miss Universe... and laura had to spoil the ending by telling me who had won, thanks a lot laura! *grumble* speaking of her... kinda noticed that these days we've been getting along really well, like old times... just that there's no girlfriend boyfriend thing, but can't help to have that thought that we are. well, at least we still love talking to each other like that and that's as close as i get to her... and yeah, i'm really happy about it. still, my wishes to have her close in my arms and kissing her will always remain a fantasy... and that's what i had wished for as a present on my birthday, not the fantasy part of course. sigh tommy, get a grip, not suppose to get my hopes at all over her.... still recovering but getting better :) tomorrow's my last day at course, gonna miss it man, that free 8-5pm life... no more sob...

saved by a phone call

today, did 2 IWCDs (Island Wide Confidence Driving), my arms went under the sun a bit too long and was nearly struck on the head by a falling screwdriver. yep i'll come to take later...
the drive today, had just found out that we need to complete 200km of IWCD, 50km in the man truck, 50 in the 3 tonner and 50 in the rover... the remaining 50 in any of those vehicles. as i had did my irst IWCD in the man truck, today was the rover and 3 tonner... did the return drive back to camp in the rover in the morning and boy, the freakin' rover's gearbox suck! can't engage that bloody 3rd gear and stuff... afternoon did the same return route in the 3 tonner and it was better, just that few times did doze off a little while on the road :op hey most of the journey was on the expressway and we're like travelling at 55km/h MAX, geez! had my radio on but didn't really work haha... anyway came back in one piece, so why bother? man, next thursday is my final ICWD and also my last day of the course, on friday which HAPPENS to be my birthday, i have to report back to my unit... *dejected look* i really don't wanna go back there to scub the walls of the kennel, run after the dog during training and waking up early, spending so much time just travelling to there and back... :o( and those lonely nights out there in the darkness... and this time dun really have a special someone to keep me company on the phone... (Noby, my dog, is not counted, ok!) will still keep that guardian angel that she gave to me and carry it with me while i'm on duty... that little guardian angel pin is kinda really... don't really know how to explain it? but just felt that it's something really special to me, feels like got someone watching over me and protecting me. :o) and it's from her... sigh kk nvm. *deep inhale* the falling screwdriver! ah yes while walking to tha ntuc supermarket in clementi, i was walking past this coffeeshop and in the middle of this walkway, there was this guy up on the ladder, his head up in the celing or whatever working on something... i was gonna walk past it when i felt my phone ring, so i slowed down a little to feel for my phone WHEN... a big screwdriver fell right in front of me! dammit, if i had continued to walk at the same pace, that bloody screwdriver would have gone right into my head!!!! i when i saw that screwdriver, i was like saying,"FUCK!!!!" i looked up and that bastard wasn't even looking down or even aware that he dropped that bloody piece of shit... man i swore to you that i could've just pulled that ladder down at that moment and take him down... then i saw that it was Laura who called me. i picked it up and told her what had happened... and she went like,"see? i knew what was gonna happen, so that's why i called you!" hahaha... i was like,"oh my god, you actually really saved me.. i really owe you my life...." and she went," nononono!..." hahahaha....
well, tomorrow's a public holiday, a day off... but i have no plans... had this that went thru my mind, if i were still with her, would've brought her to the the bird park the butterfly garden in there... if there's one i remembered. oh my, i'm still having so many fantasy thoughts about her... NOT physical, just relationship level... she's been talking to me these days, felt like old times... maybe she thinks that we're cool about it... i ask myself that and frankly, yah i'm getting better, but only bcos she's talking to me... so actually, not quite sure that i'm getting over this but by the looks of it... maybe it is getting better. been trying to look on the brighter side... and believe me, it's not easy!!! tomorrow, sigh maybe decide later or something... doubt i'll be staying at home cos... just don't wanna. mmm can't think of much to continue at the moment, will stop here for now. oh and lookie! my Certificate for my driving course!!! *Grin*


My Cert!!!