Sunday, October 08, 2006

A small tribute to one of the greatest canine friend, Toby

Was gonna write about my visit to the newly opened Vivio City at Harbourfront, but I decided to write about Toby first. He's Laura's family pet Labrador Retriever, who had passed away recently due to cancer.

I was shocked when I learnt that Toby had passed away, it was so sudden. To me, Toby was always a strong and healthy canine fella... great at age but yet a kid at heart. In fact, it was Toby who made me gave me the great interest in dog handling and training during my vocational training while serving NS. I could remember the first time I met Toby when I visited Laura's house for the first time, I had never seen such a huge dog in my life! At time I was a little afraid of getting too near to any dog, a big fella like Toby didn't really help much either.. but eventually I learnt that he is the friendliset dog ever. I will always remember him pounching onto me and humping my leg whenever I visit her house.... he will do that without fail. No coaxing can help, I had to literally push him down and off my leg! And from time to time, his action would stain my shirt, heh...

He's also super obedient at times. One of best tricks Laura showed me was his ability to listen to NO! when a piece of bread or food is placed on his nose. He would just sit there and wait... and wait... and wait... until someone says OK!, in a blink of an eye, the food would disappear from his nose and into his mouth. He's really playful, no doubt. He'll play a game of ball with great enthusiasm or chase anything with lotsa gust... and also he'll poke his nose into anything anyone is doing. There was one time Laura brought home Tiro, a little kitten and Toby just couldn't stop bringing his nose onto him.

Toby has endured great pain as well.... that time when he was attacked by 2 of the neighbour's Golden Retrievers that left him with punctured wounds and his ear nearly bitten off. It looked pretty serious, but in the end he made a fantastic full recovery.

In almost every way, he reminds me of Noby and Antis... those 2 SAF guard dogs that I stil truly miss. The last time I heard of them they were still doing well. Antis, who was injured during a freak accident fall, recovered just like Toby, is now still jumping and running like the wind like he was before.

It was real unfortunate that cancer struck Toby, and that he had to suffer so much. I can understand why Laura and her family couldn't bear to see Toby being put to sleep.... I was right there when Atos, one of the guard dogs in my time, was suffering for bloated stomach and wasn't making any good progress. I had rushed him to the animal hospital, it was his 3rd visit within weeks. The vet informed me of his bad condition, said she'll try her best to save him... but when that message was relayed back to the Dog Master, he said to end Atos misery and put him to sleep. As someone who had recently developed a keen passion for dogs, to hear that was utterly disappointing. Me and the other 2 trainers who were with me said our last good byes to Atos before the vet gave him the final shot. I literally saw his life vanishing through his eyes... i really couldn't describe how awful and hurt i was when i was right there.

As I begin to end this tribute, my eyes begin to shed tears for Toby. It's been really great having you around, good 'ol boy. Despite tearing up things and knocking stuff over, you brought great joy to whoever had known you,including myself. You'll be in my heart as long as I live as well. Rest in peace.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

It sucks

It sucks to know that people think that you're not that good as you thought you would be.

It sucks have many contacts in your list, but only a few would actually bother to talk or hold a conversation with you.

It sucks to be born with a personality that you aren't exactly proud of.

It sucks to lose the key to the car, and that you have to pay for it... a lot.

It sucks to have the ones who you feel most comfortable, to treat you like you're just another guy that comes and goes.

It sucks to talk to people who will end up blocking you cuz you can't click with them. Sometimes that's mutal... still it sucks.

It sucks to have a suspected late-night eating disorder.

It sucks to take leave on Friday and Saturday, only to know that your plans ain't gonna happen cuz the other is not free.

It sucks to have a new guy at work, that looks gay, talks gay and acts gay... and he's fuckin' balding.

It sucks to take a leap in faith, that doesn't work out in the end.

It sucks to be in a situation, where you're totally not prepared for.

It sucks to talk to rich bastards... you throw money at me, I'll just pick them up and walk away.

It sucks to not know and understand your own dialect group. Please don't bring me to China.

It sucks to know of someone who you thought you had feelings for, has changed totally.

It sucks to know what you feared has come true.

It sucks to feel that no one kinda understands what you're going through.



I have to put all these behind. I was loser before and I will not be one again. I've tried to stay positive for so long and I will not give that up.

Then again there's no denying on whoa I really am inside me. Some should know, others have no clue.