In rememberance of Atos. It was great having you around mate, hope you'll find peace wherever you are now. 

Yes finally, i can upload pics~

These are some of the things that keep me awake while on duty.... An E-2C plane... 


...Noby... 


... a stick, for me to burn... style='border:0px;padding:0px;background:transparent;' align='absmiddle'>


... even toads! lol 

urgh

i wanna post photos, but i can't... cos my computar is FUCKED UP! FUCKED UP FUCKED UP!

(yeah yeah, you're thinking, "you too" right? whatever)

why can't it just stop... there?

i'm getting really tired from all these... really. the feeling is silent, yet.. how do i say... powerful. it's something that i can't really get it off my head, cos it's on-going! yesterday i had evening duty, the NCOs in camp asked me to help them get some food. around evening time it was raining, it looked promising that there might not be any deployment. i was keeping my fingers crossed throughout then.

just before 6, the rained had stopped and the sky cleared. disappointment. plus i was really late... again.

at least i didn't have to do much while on duty that night, except that while approaching the end of my duty hours, i was asked whether i could stay overnight due to "bad weather". i made a huge mistake by saying yes. well, even the NCO whom i called to confirm said yes, so that makes 2 guys who made a big mistake. initial it went alright, i was invited to sleep inside the cold cold guard room, and was falling asleep when a call came to ask me to get back to camp immediately. :S back in camp heard the rest of the story, did some planning and prep for tomorrow and went to sleep. acutally, i couldn't really sleep.... the fact that once again i screwed up on myself. the rest of the night i just lied on the floor, covering myself in blanket under the cold-blowing fan, trying to put things off my already swollen mind.

the spade of unfortunate events just didn't end there. because of the no deployment of the midnight outbase duty, some of th guys made some mistakes while booking in. the result: various numbers of extras given out to those involved. i feel bad that all these wouldn't have happened, if weren't for my blunderous decision to stay over. if only i had wanted to come back and hang out with the .... nvm.

great just now... JUST now i accidentally damaged my handphone desktop charging stand. Someone please, just kill me.

i having enough for now. it's really getting to much.

Don't feel like doing anything anymore

just this morning, was gonna wash the car.... went around the estate but all occupied... went to clementi, found a space but with a sealed tap... but ah i can still twist the tap. so i did....

huge mistake.

5 minutes later, i managed to screw the tap back, not without drenching my entire self. feeling pissed and humiliated, i went home.

then in the afternoon i topped up some gas into the car, not much.... plus added some fuel additives, too much... in fact i poured the entire contents into the tank. now i've got a car which is sputtering like hell whenever i tried to floor the gas hard. nearly drove myself mad when the car temp. broke down in the middle of nowhere.

Why am i soooo stupid.... why....

later i've got evening duty. by all means please God, don't make me prowl for tonight's duty. i really had enough for the past 3 days, and i just found out that quite likely laura's into this close fren of hers... oops. of course i'm feeling really.... you know what. the past 10 months i've been trying to get acustomed to being single and seeing laura leading a care-free life with a bunch ppl around her... maybe now i'm used to all this, but when it comes to seeing her being real close to someone else eg. new BF, that's something i'm not prepared at all. and i don't know how to prepare myself for that. but one thing i can imagine, i can see myself going thru the whole sad state... all over again.
it makes me wonder sometimes, was it a good thing to have had her in my life? nah, can't think of that in such a way... the real question i think lies within myself, why can't i let go? comparing her last year and this year, she's changed a lot... but i'm still stuck to seeing her as the person she was a year ago. in a way, it looks like it's very unlikely that we get ever get together again, cos i'm pretty much the same old idiot pig. to be honest, i still don't know what i want in life... maybe it's someone who can take care of me? i sound like a wuss eh... like it or not, i might just be like that.
my best bud, Dick... well i haven't heard much from him for so long. tried asking him out but he always got plans already made somehow. supposed best bud, ya know. really, still $$$ rules the world, without it, you can't go out, thus can't meet frens to hang out or chill or the have fun. $$$ is the main prob in my life, mix with my inability to hold $$$, i'm like a total loser. if only someone out there who could believe in me.... that i can change for the better. obviously i can't do it alone, and somehow no one can see that....


had asked laura for lunch this tues, not confirmed. finally a chance to see her again, but now i'm not sure if it's the right thing to do. me, being careless with words and all, stumbling at almost anything.... some BAD is bound to happen somehow, and it's gonna make me regret deeply. but why, why do i still do it?

someone please, just talk to me.

long long entry... but....

... i did something real stupid last night to my computer and now i'm reinstalling the opterating system into my other hard drive and trying to transfer whatever i can to my new hard drive.... hai. ya know the past few days, i've got a lot to write. a lot i tell ya.... but first i have to set up my computer properly... right now i'm installing the XP service pack 2, supposedly to "enhance security and whatever.." me staying in camp unexpectly on friday, atos put to sleep, the fucked up 3IC story, where's everyone when i want company, mobilisation recall, seeing a shocking image of stef.... so much....

...after i'm done with my computer.

grumble grumble

last night i didn't manage to get a good sleep in the barrack... it was warm, uncomfortable and... darn mosquitoes were biting my legs, even though i had lit up mosquito coils. i tried to sleep at around 11... and ended up only really sleeping at about 12 plus. frustrating.
today i had intended to report sick for my coughs... then i recieved news that today they're sending Hector the biting dog to SAFPU for erm... "reformative training". actually it's more of trying to what's with him biting and how to correct that. and who's to drive the dog there? Me of course ;p. So reporting sick... nah no need for that hee... *cough*
tonight i'm covering duty for the other shift, they're lacking some manpower at the moment. actually i hate doing this covering duty... reminds me of serving extras. plus earlier on in the afternoon i again didn't had a good sleep again... sigh.
well, at least i get to go home after work, something to look forward to...

hmm...

you know... don't feel like blogging these days, really don't know why. perhaps my life is pretty much stable, nothing much to complain about, to rave, to brag, to rant... the lonely life of mine seems to be... quite at home for the moment. hmm..
the weekend was urgh.... b o r i n g. imagine having so much time in hand, but yet no guts to do stupid stuff with the dogs (don't go wild on your imaginations ok).forgot the bring my camera, so that pretty much turned off every plans i had made. plus my companion for the weekend was basically snoozing away most of the time, someone had to be awake in case of anything... obviously that would be me.
today after work, the guys were planning to go for a swim. with such hot weather these days i wouldn't mind, but i was quite tired and the time was tight.... just had to put it off. the weekend we're having a good long off.... there were talks about heading to sentosa for the weekend. hmm that i wouldn't mind, i can bring my car along! haaa... we'll see.
hmm let's see... just 3 months more before i ord... well i'm looking forward more to converting my driving license somewhere next month... oooooohhh really really.. i can't wait for that day when i finally get a *ahem*.. LEGAL civilian license hehe....

Oooh another update...

i wonder at myself, why ain't i blogging these days... no time i guess. anyway i don't have much time this time round, will be doing nco duty for this weekend... yes 2 whole days UP there... sigh. later tonight meeting up with the guys for dinner... yep.
well ok a little update, recently been trying the teach the new driver on... how to actually ermm... DRIVE?! goodness... really man i wonder how the hell did he pass out for the course, not only he's slow, he's freaking stubborn and won't really listen to instructions! how can i relax with such a guy around hai.... then our 3IC, fucked up as usual, everyone knows that... maybe except him ha.
alright gotta go now. this might me my last weekend nco... gonna bring alone me camera heehee.

finally an update

yeah it's been quite a while since i last blogged... kinda busy and lazy. well anyway.... the past 2 days stayed in camp.. or rather didn't came home. yesterday was doing the NCO, the night before went out with the guys to this prawn fishing pond till quite late... ended up with real lack of sleep and sore throat. right now i've been coughing out a lotta shit... sometimes went breathless even. life's quite ok these days, except that my erm...3IC in my shift has gone real fucked up. Here i am, 3 months till ord and i'm still helping out with whatever with the shift, while he still has about 9 more fucking long months before his bloody turn.... and he's acting like he's gonna leave the place next week. he's always coming out with excuses and reasons for what he's doing... some even total absurd. well he's just asking for it, just wait the chance comes, he's gonna really get it. and also i found out.... the reason why i got 7 extras and lost the chance to be the 1IC of my shift.... him.
sigh i'm outta cash now... tomorrow intending to sell off the 8855. really liked the phone, but i don't really have the choice. can't afford to keep the luxury on me. pretty soon i'm gonna sell of my MD player too.... sigh problematic me.

today

today, i was happy, pissed, tired and felt stupid. sigh.

check out this vid

BIG Drift.wmv

never thought drifting is possible in THAT.

weird dream

i had a weird dream this afternoon, i dreamt that i was in the running for the local reality series An Eye for A Guy 2. Halfway through, Laura called me and i woke up from it. Weird eh??

Sunday!

yes, finally something to talk about today, but unfortunately i have to leave now to meet bigfoot at JP... well let's try to make this reeeeal short then...

morning woke up, had very full breakfast, drove the Caddy to the parking lot downstairs, had intended to wash the car but weather sucked and no more free water, then drove to my bro's house with mum to visit Nicole, at his house took pics of her with mah trusty SE T610, then watched Hildago and some chinese movie on DVD, then stewed mutton soup for dinner YUM... then drove back home, parked the Caddy back at the lot behind, reach house uploaded the pics, now doing this blog and gonna go out real soon.
there. :)

Introducing... Nicole Lim! OooOoh big big eyes! 


another $$$ shot, so pret-tee! 


uh she looks stiff on this one huh... 


Ahhhhh!!! lol 


reeeelax.... think you should know what happens next... 


... zzzzzz.... and in record time! within 8 secs after putting her on the bed, she knocks out. amazing how babies can sleep soooo fast. 


notice how she sleeps, her eyes are not totally closed! gave me quite a fright when i first saw her like that, espeically when she slowly wakes up to open her eyes... then eyes would slowly roll down.... thought there was some devil within lol 


me and her zzz... look how chubby she is! 


Hey, how did Noby get in here?!? 

blank blank blank

hmm don't feel like blogging these days... prolly cos nothing much is happening around me. just waiting for something to happen. mmm yeah...